Been Here All Along
by imma1pirate1argh
Summary: If you could see that I'm the one who understands you Been here all along, so why can't you see? You belong with me. Deadliest Catch story. Full Summary inside. Completed.
1. Chapter One

Hola everyone! So I'm back with a new story. I've become obsessed with Deadliest Catch, especially the boat Cornelia Marie. And, you know, the Harris boys. Haha. They're my favorite. Anyway, so this is probably a bit OOC for them because I've just started to watch the show again. I'm kind of winging it. Anything you'd like to offer would me amazing. I'm kind of taking liberity with their personalities and personal lives. If it's competely OOC, please, let me know. I'd love any help or constructive criticism, which I guess would be the same thing. So yeah, here we go. And yes, I realize the summary is probably crap but I'm not the best at writing them. The story's better [I know everyone says that] but, whatever.

**Full Summary:  
Kyle and Jackson have lived next door to the Harris family their whole lives. Their parents are the best of friends and their children are the best of friends as well. Everyone but Jake seems to realize that Kyle has a bit of a thing for him which, you know, sucks for her. Everyone tells her to let it go, that he's not worth it, but he's her best friend. Would you give up that easily? When Jackson gets the chance to become a Greenhorn on the Cornelia Marie, Kyle wants in too. After much arguing and what not, Captain Phil Harris caves in, letting Kyle join in as long as she proves herself, which she was determiend to do anyway. The more time she spends with Jake on the boat, the more things begin to change. Then there's Josh, always there for her Josh. No one knows her like Jake, but Josh? Josh has been there for everything, even when Jake's been an ass to Kyle, Josh has been there. As she enters the world of crab fishing, Kyle deals not only with this, but pulling her weight in one of the most dangerous professions. Can she do it, or will she ultimately fail? And what about her boys? **

**Disclaimer:  
So, obviously I don't own any of the boys or the boats. That belongs to the various crew members and captains. I have no clue about their personal lives, and I kind of like it that way so it's going to be original that way. Their personalities are a bit off, I'm sure but I'm doing the best I can. The titles of the chapters are taken from various artists and are credited at the bottom of each chapter. The only things I own are Jackson and Kyle McDaniel, oh and Sonny, my muse. [:**

_**Why can't you see?  
**Chapter One **!**_

"**I hate my life." **The brunette breathed out as she took a sip of the whiskey melting ice in her glass. Her fingers pushed a few strands of dark brown hair out of her face and back into place.

"**No you don't,"** replied a man that looked somewhat similar to the girl. **"Kyle, you love your life and you know it. You're a woman, getting to go on a crab boat and actually catch crab."**

The man had a point and Kyle absolutely loathed him for that. She lifted her head from the bar and sent a pointed glare at her twin brother, Jackson. **"You're right. Only now, I hate you."**

Jackson only laughed and so did the man beside him. **"Am I really going to have to deal with your drama queen ways on the boat Ky?" **Josh Harris asked from beside Jackson, shaking his head, not bothering to hold back a laugh.

"**I'm not a drama queen, Josh." **A glare was sent the brunette's way and she merely laughed this off. **"Besides, you know you're going to love being in such close quarters with me. I am me, after all."** The two men beside her simply laughed and took drinks from their own alcoholic beverages. It was the night before they took off for the Bering Sea and the start of King Crab season. It was Kyle and Jackson's first trip out, thus making them both Greenhorns. Lucky for them, they were already pretty close with their crew members, but that didn't exactly mean the crew was going to let them slip by without treating them like the Greenhorns they were. Jackson and Kyle expected nothing less though. Both wanted to earn their way to full share deckhands, thus they were willing to deal with whatever shit was thrown their way.

Kyle spun around on her barstool, looking for her best friend, Jake Harris. She and Jackson had grown up right next door to the Harris family, meaning they were extremely close. Their parents were best friends and their children were best friends as well. Her blue eyes landed on the boy and she let out a groan. He was chatting up a busty blond, typical Jake. **"No, really, I hate my fucking life,"** she said as turned around, letting her forehead rest against the cool wood.

Jackson and Josh swiveled around, eyes finding the sight giving their friend such a complex. **"Right,"** Josh said, rolling his dark eyes. Typical Jake. It was amazing how the boy could be so oblivious to the fact his best friend was in love with him. **"He's a douche-bag, forget him Kyle. You can do better, you know it."** Though this was still his brother, he was right. Kyle could do better then his womanizing younger brother.

"**Yeah, I know."** Kyle didn't want to discuss this again. She couldn't help her feelings, they knew that. She loved Jake, always had, probably always would. **"I'm going back to the boat, I'll see you guys later."** With a small sigh, and a glare in the blond's general direction, the brunette haired woman took off for the Cornelia Marie.

The walk wasn't that long, to be honest, it felt extremely short to Kyle. She needed more time to think, to clear her head before the boys showed up. With that in mind, she pulled her jacket tighter around and walked away from the deck the boats were pulled up against. Life wasn't that bad for Kyle, really. If it weren't for her brother being asked to join the Cornelia Marie, and her insisting she get to go too, she would be back home probably working some shitty retail gig. No thank you.

Kyle kicked at a loose stone, watching as it skittered a bit away from her. The woman was looking forward to life on the Bering Sea. Sure, it was going to be hard work, but she could deal with that, right? She was going to have to suck it up and prove herself. It was going to be a bit harder considering the fact that she was a girl, and girls in the profession she was going into were not normally accepted. Despite the fact that she thought she could do the job, it was going to take convincing the guys in order for her to stay.

What worried her the most was being in such close quarters with Jake. Yeah, she had lived next to him and his family her whole life, but never had they stayed in a boat, for weeks or months at a time like this. It was going to be interesting. At least she wasn't going to have to watch him flirt with other women, making her jealous. Did he even realize what he did to her when he let himself go with those women? Probably not. Even if he did, did she think he would stop? Again, probably not.

It was an hour later that Kyle made her way back to the ship, trying to figure out why the hell she thought to walk in such cold weather conditions. Oh, right, she needed to clear her head. Her Converse clad feet scuffed along the wooden deck that led to Cornelia Marie. She wondered if anyone was back yet or if everyone was still at the Elbow Room.

She was surprised to find that Josh was back. Kyle unzipped her coat and hung it up before going to him. **"Where's everyone at?"** she questioned.

Josh looked up, small smile on his lips. **"Still at the bar. I think everyone is just enjoying their last night on dry land."**

"**Yeah. I was enjoying it, then you know, I don't know."** Kyle really didn't. She was just ready to get out to sea, to have something to do besides ponder and worry. It was stupid, she knew, but what else could she do? She slid into the seat beside Josh and rested her head on his shoulder. She smiled as his head rested on top of hers. She began to hum _Light My Candle_ from Rent, causing Josh to laugh. She lifted her head and looked at him, eyebrow raised.

"**You're humming Rent. You've done that ever since you saw the movie,"** he said with a grin.

Kyle laughed and rested her head back on top of his. In some ways, Kyle felt closer to Josh, in others, well, she wasn't sure. Jake was her best friend but sometimes it felt like they were so distant from each other. Josh had always been there and she hoped that he would always be there. Kyle bit back a yawn as she closed her eyes. It was probably a good idea to get all of the sleep she could before there were multiple sleepless nights. **"Alright, I think I'm going to go to bed."**

"**Want me to tuck you in?"**

"**Sure,"** the brunette said with a smile as she slid out of the seat. Josh wrapped an arm around her shoulders as they walked toward the room she would be sharing with her twin brother. **"Turn around."** Kyle waited for Josh to do so before she slid out of her clothes and dug around in her bag for a pair of boxers and a muscle shirt. A minute later she was dressed and staring at Josh's back. **"Alright, good to go."**

Josh turned around and smiled before shaking his head. He came to her side and lifted the covers back. **"There you go princess."**

Sticking her tongue out childishly, Kyle slid under the covers. **"You staying with me?"** she questioned. They'd done this ever since they were little. If it wasn't Jake staying with her, it was Josh. It was a comfort thing more then anything. Josh seemed to think this over before nodding and taking off his t-shirt and sliding out of his jeans. Kyle wasn't worried about her brother coming in and seeing the two sleeping in the same bed, he was used to this by now, or at least he should have been. Her head rested on the pillow, Josh's head beside hers. **"Can I tell you something?"**

He turned his head to face hers, **"Yeah, you know you can."**

"**I'm nervous about this."**

"**You'll do fine. It's hard work, but I know if anyone can do it, you can. What, with how stubborn you are."**

Kyle shot him a look before laughing. He was right. She was probably over thinking this. She'd seen the boys on television, and yeah, it definitely looked like a lot of work. Kyle could do it though, right? Christ, she really hoped so. Kyle shut her eyes before opening one to look back at Josh. **"Night, Josh."**

"**Night, princess."**

[ You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift ]


	2. Chapter Two

**Disclaimer:  
****See the first chapter. It's all in there.**

**Navigate and I will steer into the sun  
**_Chapter Two **!**_

A soft moan escaped Kyle's as she drifted back into the land of the living. It took her a moment to come back to herself before she realized there was someone staring at her. She could feel their eyes on her and it was really beginning to bother her. **"Go away."** Nope, that hadn't worked, she could still feel their eyes on her. What the fuck? Slowly, her blue eyes slid open and she let out a yelp and threw herself back. Her heart pounded in her chest, banging brusingly against her ribcage. **"Jesus Christ. I hate you, Jake. Fucking ass." **

Jake laughed as he straightened up, looking down at Kyle. **"You'll laugh about this later, you know you will."**

The woman was certain she was scarred for life. There was no way she was going to be able to sleep again. Maybe that was an exagerration, but whatever. Jake had been only a few breaths away from her face. Nothing could have prepared her for that. It was the scare, and the way he naturally took her breath away that had done her in. **"Was there something you needed or did you just want to scare the shit out of me?"**

"**Oh, trust me, it was both."** Jake was trying to reign in his laughter. Even Kyle could tell he was having a difficult time doing so. Eventually, after what seemed like hours, Jake managed to stop laughing. **"Anyway. Captain wants you and your brother up in the wheelhouse." **Kyle muttered something under her breath as she moved to swing her legs over the side of the bunk. Just as she was about to get up, Jake put his hands on either side of her, effectively blocking her in. **"What was that Greenhorn?" **

Really? Kyle hated Jake sometimes. **"Oh, please. Use that cocky bullshit elsewhere. Apparently I've got to see the captain. Move." **Of course, this didn't work with Jake. Cocky bastard. He didn't move and Kyle was beginning to get more then annoyed with him. **"Jake, I'm serious, move. I don't want to be on bad terms with your dad. Especially when I'm as new with this as I am."**

"**You know my dad loves you."**

"**Doesn't matter. I'm on his boat, under his command. This isn't like being back home and letting me get away with stuff because I'm his best friend's daughter. He's paying me and I intend to do my damn job. Now, move." **Kyle wasn't at all sure that Jake was going to move, but after a minute, he grinned down at her and moved.

"**Hey, Ky?"**

"**Yeah, Jake?"**

"**Welcome aboard."**

Kyle laughed as Jake left her to change into decent clothes to meet Captain Phil in his wheelhouse.

_& &_

"**This isn't like back home, you got that? I don't do favoritism on this boat. Not even with Ding and Dong. You do your job, you look out for your crew, and you keep your goddamn eyes open. This is a dangerous job and I don't want you getting fucked up because you didn't pay attention. Not only would your parents kill me, but I wouldn't be able to live with myself," **Captain Phil Harris explained to his two newest Greenhorns. Sure, they were practically family, but that would not stop Phil from treating them just like the other members of the crew. He needed to run an effiencent ship, if these two fucked it up, they'd have to go. No favoritism.

"**Yes sir,"** the twins said in unison.

"**You two are still doing that?" **the elder man said, laughing. He wondered if they would ever grow out of that. Apparently not. Phil put a cigarette to his lips and lit the tip, breathing in at the same time, a moment later, he exhaled the smoke.

"**Of course. We wouldn't be us if we didn't," **Kyle said, eyeing the cigarette.

"**Josh and Jake will be helping you two learn the ropes around here. You'll be doing the baiting, cleaning out the pots, hanging the bait up, and helping to sort out the crab. Your most important job though is to do the bait. We need plenty of it so you'll be doing mainly that. It's your main priority," **Phil explained. **"I expect you two to keep your spaces clean, especially on deck. Now, your rooms can be a little messy because, hell, I'm not the neatest guy on planet, so I don't expect you to be. Keep your stuff in your space though, I don't want to see it all strewn over the place. Got it?" **Phil watched as the twins nodded. He had to admit. He was proud of them. He was sure Jackson would take to crabbing like a fish to water, his father had, but that had been before he'd permanently damaged his back, causing him to retire from crabbing. Once they'd asked Jackson to join up, Phil and Art knew it would only be a matter of time before Kyle argued her way into the situation. She'd put up a fight and in the end, neither men had been able to tell her 'no'.

He was worried she wouldn't be able to cut it, but deep down, he felt she could handle it. Phil Harris was rooting for the woman, that was for sure. If there was ever a girl to join the crabbing fleet, it would be Kyle McDaniel. She was proud, stubborn, compassionate, blunt, entergetic, and funny; just like her mother. Phil shook his head as he surveyed the pair. It was funny how different the twins were. Jackson was more laid back, quiet, and thoughtful. He liked to think things through and solve problems before hand. He liked to have all the angles figured out. Kyle? She jumped head first into things and dealt with the consequences after. He imagined that was what was going on here. Kyle wanted to do this because Jackson was. Anything he could do, she could do better. Was that the truth? He wasn't sure. He did know one thing for sure though, they were going to see what Kyle Jace McDaniel was made of.

_& &_

"**Jack, what are you doing?" **

"**Suiting up."**

"**Why?"**

Jackson shot his twin a look. **"Because, Kyle, we have things we have to take care of on deck. Plus, I want to watch the boats take of. Weren't you paying any attention to Phil?"**

"**Yeah, of course." **Kyle nodded her head as she followed her brother, throwing on her gear before falling him out onto the deck of the Cornelia Marie. So, this was it. They were really doing this. **"Holy shit, Jack. We're on a crab boat. We're really going crabbing."**

Jake laughed as he appeared behind the twins. **"I always knew you were a little slow on the uptake, but really, Ky?"**

"**Shut up, Jake,"** Kyle said before lightly punching Jake on the arm.

"**Come on, Kyle. I'm going to show you how to do the bait,"** Josh called out from the baiting area. He brandished a sharp, curved knife above his head, looking somewhat unstable with it.

Kyle tilted her head to the side before laughing. **"Yeah, alright."** She hip-checked her brother before going to Josh's side, watching him with wide eyes and taking everything he did in with enthuasim.

Jake watched as Kyle took off, chuckling at the way she approached the bait area. He figured she wouldn't be grossed out, but to watch her take everything in the the eyes of kid was kind of funny. He turned his attention to Jackson and nodded toward the area loaded up with pots. **"Come on, we're going to make sure the pots are secured. We'll be leaving within the hour. At least, I think that's what dad said."** Jake shrugged as he led Jackson toward the pots.

Jackson leaned back and looked at the massive tower of pots. **"We set all these?"**

"**Yep. Exciting, huh?"**

Jack laughed and nodded his head. He didn't have much experience with this kind of thing. The only experience he had were through stories his father and Phil had told of their early years of crabbing. **"Alright. Guess we should get started."**

Jake clapped Jackson on the back with a laugh. **"That's the spirit."**

& &

Pretty soon, Kyle was able to bait the fish herself, feeling quite proud of herself. She hummed various tunes from Rent as she worked. Her mind was so into what she was doing that she didn't even realize that Mark, Corey, Freddy, and Josh were standing menacingly behind her.

Their secrecy was soon enough ended as a bucket of freezing Arctic water was thrown on her back. **"Fuck!" **she cursed as she wheeled around. Her blue eyes were wide at what they had done. Her first thought was to flip out at them, then she realized that this was just part of the whole Greenhorn hazing thing. This wasn't even as bad as it could get, she knew from the stories her father had told. Once she'd collected herself, she glared at the four men. **"Thanks guys. Just what I needed to wake up,"** she said, shaking her head and turning back around to continue her job.

The four men looked at her before busting out laughing. Obviously they were going to have to step up their game. Then again, this was only the first stages of hazing out of many.

Not much later, Jake appeared at her side. Silently, he watched her work with a look of pure concentration on her face. Kyle turned her head automatically, already knowing it was him who stood beside her, and grinned. **"Hey."**

"**Hey. How's the whole bait thing working out for you?"**

"**Oh, you know, it's going." **She looked over at the half full bin of fish. There were still plenty to do before they'd be ready to start setting pots. Jake took the curved knife from Kyle and set it down in front of her. The brunette woman raised an eyebrow at him but nevertheless turned to completely face her friend.** "What are you doing?"**

"**We're about to leave. Come on," **Jake said, not offering the brunette anything to go on.

"**Okay,"** Kyle answered, drawing the word out. What the hell? She let Jake take her arm and before she knew it, she was standing at the stern of the boat. **"What's so special about this?" **she questioned.

Jake shushed her and Kyle complied, though once again, her eyebrow raised. Soon, she felt the engine of the boat shudder as Phil brought it to life. The boat hummed as he kicked up the speed and they were taking off. It seemed they were the first to leave and Kyle placed her hands on the rails of the boat, watching as they left Dutch Harbor. Jake placed his hands on either side of her, his chest pressing against her back, chin resting at the crook of her neck.

"**Watch,"** the older man – by at least two years – instructed.

Kyle did what he said, trying to ignore her heart beating rapidly in her chest, and the blush rising in her cheeks. Jake's smell blew in the breeze and the woman found herself wanting to bottle it and save it forever. He smelled like the sea, cigarettes, something that was just Jake, and freedom. How she envied that. **"Wow,"** she said softly as she realized what he had brought her there to see. The rest of the boats were setting sail, each seeming to form something like a V behind the Cornelia Marie. The Northwestern was just to their right, next to them the Wizard, and the Time Bandit was on the other side. All four boats seemed to send up a blast of the horn, as if saying good luck to each other, may the best man win.

Once the Cornelia Marie had fully entered into the Bering Sea, Jake slipped away from Kyle, stepping back so she could turn around. Kyle smiled as she looked up at the sun as it peeked out from behind the overcast clouds. **"You ready to get back to work?"**

Of course. Work. She hated how Jake made her feel. It was like she was so special, so important and then the next moment, nothing. Then again, she shouldn't be too surprised. There were more important things to worry about then her feelings, especially now. With a nod, Kyle followed Jake back to the deck of the ship and to her station. **"I'll see you later," **she said softly to him as she picked up the knife. Jake smiled and went to check on Josh and Jackson. Again, lyrics to various Rent songs slid past her lips as she continued the job that had been assigned to her. _Welcome to the world of crabbing, Kyle._

[ Take Me Away - Fefe Dobson ]


	3. Chapter Three

Thank you to everyone who's reading this story. I really appreciate it. And thank you to Mahone-chic-89, Archermusician, and NicoleVonDee for reviewing.

**Where she stops, nobody knows  
**_Chapter Three **!**_

"**Alright, drop it."** Kyle watched as the ninety-eighth pot slid down the ramp and dropped into the dark, below freezing waters of the Bering Sea. Her blue eyes turned to Josh, who was busy tossing the buoys into the ocean. **"Two more,"** Murray called up to Phil, who gave him a nod in return.

"**Come on Kyle, shake a leg,"** Freddy said, motioning for her to grab more bait.

Kyle wiped an orange clad arm over her forehead. Despite the fact it was freezing out, Kyle still found herself breaking out in a sweat. She jogged back to the bait area and scooped up what she needed, throwing the bait into bags to attach to the inside of the pot. Once that was accomplished, she jogged back to the nearly ready to launch pot and slipped inside, hooking the bait onto the pot before sliding right back out. Josh winked at her as he picked up the buoys and threw them into the water after the pot had slid into the ocean.

She went back to the bait area, noticing Jake waiting for her. **"What do you want?"** she questioned as she began to fill the bait bags. They were on their last string and Kyle thanked God, she was ready for a break. They'd wait a few hours or so before coming back to this spot to check out Phil's latest testing grounds. The break that offered was more then welcomed to the crew.

Jake shrugged and lit a cigarette. He offered it to Kyle who nodded before breathing in on the end Jake had set to her lips. **"Just finished moving the last pot."**

"**Oh, well, hold on,"** she said as she turned her head to breathe out the smoke. Kyle hurried back to the waiting pot and slid inside, locking the bags in place before sliding back out. She wiped her hands and walked back to Jake. **"So, now we wait?"**

"**Now we wait,"** he confirmed. Again, he held out the cigarette for her and this time, Kyle took it herself. She inhaled, holding it in for a second before exhaling. A second later she passed his cigarette back to him and Jake took it. **"I'm going to go in. I'll see you in a few."**

Kyle nodded and smiled as he left her. Everyone was cleaning up and getting ready to disappear inside. She went to Josh and offered him her help. He smiled and nodded, asking if she'd help make sure everything was secure.

"**Where's Jake?"** he asked.

"**Went inside." **Kyle moved the baiting tools around, making sure they were stowed away where they were supposed to be. **"How do you think we'll do?"**

Josh shrugged, **"Dad seems confident about this place. Something about crab farts,"** he said, laughing slightly. His dad had weird theories. Though, to the older man's credit, the last time he'd brought up crab farts, they had pulled up pot after pot of numbers that seemed to double. **"I think we'll do alright. How are you feeling?"**

"**I'm alright. Nothing compared to what it will be when we start pulling up full pots, yeah?"**

Josh laughed and nodded. He checked on the hook they used to pull up pots, making sure it was stored where it belonged. **"Yeah. I think you're doing pretty well. I mean, for a Greenhorn, you're not bad. And as far as the whole you being a girl on a crab boat, you're definitely better then I thought you were going to be,"** Josh said with a grin.

The woman shook her head before lightly elbowing him. **"Well, I feel like I'm pulling my weight around here. I don't want it to be easy, you know?"**

"**Yeah, well, it's still early. There's still plenty of time for the guys, including me, to carry on with the Greenhorn hazing."**

Kyle nodded as the put up the rest of the supplies. She looked around at the now empty deck. **"Do I smell that bad?"**

"**What?"** Josh asked, raising an eyebrow. He looked around as well and noticed that everyone was back inside. **"You're so fucking weird,"** he commented as he threw an arm around Kyle and dragged her into his side.

"**Right back at you, Joshie." **

Shooting the brunette a playful glare, he tightened his grip on the woman. **"What was that?"** he challenged.

"**Nothing," **she paused as if she were deep in thought. **Joshie," **Kyle said after minute, grin on her face.

"**I'll show you Joshie."** With that, he began to tickle Kyle, knowing where each and every ticklish spot was hidden.

Kyle writhed around, trying to get out of his grip. It was to no avail though and soon she was laughing so hard she couldn't breathe. **"Okay. No, no more Joshie. You're Josh. I fail. You win."** Josh let her go and Kyle moved back, trying to catch her breath.

"**Come on. Let's get inside. You do smell bad."**

"**Ass."**

"**You love it."**

& &

"**Bullshit."**

"**Goddamn it! I really hate you guys."** Kyle leaned forward and picked up the discarded cards, which she was sure equaled about twenty, and added them to her stack.

"**Can't help it if you're a sorry ass liar, Ky,"** Jackson commented as he grinned at his twin.

"**Who's turn is it?"** Freddy asked.

Corey raised his hand and put two Queens down, no one calling bullshit on him. It went like this for a while until Jake went to put down four twos. **"Bullshit,"** Kyle exclaimed, having a fairly good idea he was lying.

Jake, grinning, showed her his cards. **"Read 'em and weep, Kyle."**

"**I quit." **Kyle threw her cards into the middle and leaned back. **"I suck at this game. Don't know why I bother trying. Can't lie for shit." **The boys laughed and Kyle got up, going to the sink to rinse out her empty mug that had once been full of hot chocolate. **"I think I'm turning in boys."**

They called out their good nights and Kyle disappeared into the room she shared with Jackson. Once she was changed and curled up in bed with _Pet Sematary _by Stephen King, she heard a knock on the door. A few seconds later, Josh opened the door and stepped in, closing it behind himself. **"I knew you weren't asleep."**

"**Nope. Game over?"**

"**For me."**

Kyle nodded and closed her book. She scooted over to the side, allowing Josh to slide in beside her. He offered a smile before making his way under the covers, letting his head rest fully on the pillows. Kyle turned on her side, her elbow holding her head up as she looked down at Josh. They just stared at each other, neither saying a word. **"I'm cold,"** Kyle said finally as she laid back and burrowed underneath the covers. **"Hey, remember when we were younger you, me, Jackson, and Jake would make a tent under the covers? We'd all climb into one bed and hide out,"** she recalled, memories floating fondly in her mind.

"**Oh yeah. Jake had a habit of leaving half of himself out of the huddle."** Josh shook his head as he lifted the covers over their head, forming a tent. He sat up and leaned back against the wall, using his head to hold the makeshift tent up.

Kyle sat up, following Josh's actions. **"Just like old times. All we need is Jack and Jake."** This earned her a nod from Josh. It was funny how close she and Josh had gotten over the years. Sure, they'd grown up together but that didn't mean they were as close as her and Jake were. Growing up, they'd rarely hung out. Now though, it seemed like they were attached to the hip. If she were to be honest, it made her miss Jake. The roll of the boat over the waves made her tired and she yawned.

"**Go to sleep, Ky. I'm here."**

& &

Josh slid out of the bed Kyle was now resting peacefully in. He hadn't stayed long, maybe ten minutes after she'd crashed. He stretched before leaving Kyle and Jackson's room, finding everyone just as he'd left them, playing cards in the galley. He sat down next to Jackson and watched for a few minutes as they played back and forth.

"**Bullshit," **Jake called on Murray, who must have come down from the wheelhouse while he had been with Kyle. Josh laughed because Jake had been wrong and had to pick up the stacking laying in the middle.

"**Looks like Kyle's shitty luck rubbed off on you, little bro."**

"**Shut up, Josh," **Jake countered. Everyone laughed and continued one with the game.

Not much later, Jackson, Murray, Corey, and Freddy took off for their rooms, leaving Josh and Jake to themselves. The two sat in silence, Josh drinking from his cup of water, and Jake mindlessly shuffling the cards.

"**It's weird to have Kyle on the boat,"** Jake said as he put the cards in the middle of the table.

Josh didn't say anything at first, just picked up the deck and cut them. He divvied them out between himself and Jake. **"War?"**

"**War."**

"**Yeah, I guess it's kind of weird. You think she'll last?" **The older Harris brother asked as he finished passing out the cards. He flipped one over and waited for Jake to do the same.

When Jake did, he grinned, finding he had a Queen and his brother had a ten. He grabbed the cards and pulled them to his side of the table. **"I don't know."**

Silence reigned over them as they continued the game. Josh laughed as he grabbed Jake's King, having beaten him with an Ace. **"Jackson seems to be fitting in fine. Does his job, and quick. Helps out a lot too, when he's got down time."**

Jake nodded before shoving the cards toward Josh. **"I'm out. I'm going to bed."**

Josh nodded, stacking up the cards and sliding them into the case. He watched as Jake disappeared into their room and he got up, going to the stairs leading up to the wheelhouse. He lit a cigarette as he settled in beside his father. **"Got a good feeling about this season?" **he asked his dad.

"**I think things are going to change. And by the amount of bubbles we saw earlier today, I think we're gonna land a shit load of crab,"** Phil said with a bark of laughter. He picked up his cigarette and took a drag before putting it back on the ash tray it had been on previously. **"From what I could tell, Jackson and Kyle looked like they were doing their jobs. Were they?"**

"**Yeah, they were. They're both fast and determined. Both help out when others would bail."**

"**That's what we need, Greenhorns with initiative."**

"**You want to take a break old man? Seas look calm, I can take it from here,"** Josh offered, wanting his dad to get as much rest as a captain could get.

"**Yeah. Give me a few hours." **Phil stood up and stretched his aching muscles before moving away from the chair he had been planted in since the night before. He patted his eldest son on the shoulder before heading below deck.

Josh looked out at the open sea, eyes roaming upward to the dark sky blotted with bright stars. He finished off his cigarette, gave himself a minute, and lit another one.

& &

Restless, Kyle sat up, frown crossing her lips when she realized that Josh was no longer beside her. Blue eyes darted to the bunk across from her and she noticed that Jackson was in bed. What time was it? Forcing herself out of bed, Kyle placed her feet on the carpeted floor, then padded out into the galley. No one was up. She looked at the microwave, it read three-twenty. Jesus.

Kyle rubbed at her eyes, trying to wake up some. Yeah, that didn't work. She made her way to the room Josh shared with Jake, wondering if her friend would be in bed. Probably so. Once she'd opened the door, she slid quietly inside. **"Josh?"** she asked the darkness. Nothing. **"Josh?"** she tried again, only this time a bit louder.

"**What?"** This time there was a reply, only the voice didn't belong to Josh. It was Jake.

"**Shit, Jake. I thought Josh was in here."**

"**No. It's me. He's, I don't know where he is. Probably up with dad." **Kyle nodded, though she had a feeling Jake wouldn't be able to see this anyway. Jake could feel Kyle standing there. Why was she just standing there? **"What's wrong?"**

"**Nothing,"** she answered. **"Just woke up and Josh was gone." **She turned to leave but was caught off guard by Jake's fingers wrapped around her wrist.

Jake let her go and sat up, rubbing at his tired eyes. **"Fuck,"** he breathed out, trying to hold back a yawn. **"Come here." **And she did. Kyle turned around and sat on the edge of Jake's bed. He couldn't see anything and reached out blindly for her. His hand found her shoulder and he tilted her back a bit, silently telling her to lay down. Once she had done that, threw an arm around her waist.

It was different to be in this situation with Jake. They hadn't done this in forever. It was usually Josh she curled up to. Her body tensed for a second before she told herself to relax. A few seconds later, she was listening to the steady breathing of her best friend. Fuck her life. It wasn't too much longer before Kyle fell asleep herself.

& &

**"Sixty?"** Phil Harris asked from the wheelhouse the next morning.

Freddy nodded as the crew let out cheers and hollers. Already, the crew was having a good morning. They'd been woken up at what seemed to have been the ass crack of dawn, hauled on their gear, and set to work pulling up pots they'd set a mere few hours ago. It seemed like they were in a prime crabbing spot. Phil would have to remember this. He penciled down the number and laughed. **"Goddamn,"** he muttered as he ran a hand through his hair. He lit a cigarette and looked out the window, watching his crew haul up pots and count out crab.

His eyes stayed on the Greenhorns, surprised at how efficient they were. Both Kyle and Jackson moved on deck like lightning, it almost seemed like they were working of the other's energy. Art would be proud, and Phil grinned. He looked down at Freddy for the next count, eighty. Christ.

[ Bad Influence – P!nk ]


	4. Chapter Four

Again, thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed this story. It really means a lot to me. I hope you're enjoying it. Special thanks to NicoleVonDee, Mahone-chic-89, and Kairo.

**Disclaimer:  
****See chapter one.**

**What a rainy ending given to a perfect day  
**_Chapter Four **!**_

"**Fucking Christ,"** Jake groaned as he and Jackson lifted up the full pot, setting it on the ship and dumping it's contents. He watched as Kyle practically flew across the deck, helping unload the crab and string up the bait bags. **"Move your ass, McDaniel."**

Kyle paused mid stride as she heard that. What the fuck? She shook her head and continued for the bait area, to fill the bags she'd just taken down, back up. Glaring at Jake, she shoveled up the bait and slid it into the bag. After that, she joined the guys in sorting out the crab. She smaller ones she had, she threw to the side, over the railing. The larger ones were tossed down the chute where the other crabs of its size stayed until they reached the port to unload. She didn't look at anyone as she did her work, concentrating solely on the task at hand.

The next pot, Jake said the same thing, telling her to move her ass. She was going as fast as she possibly could. What did he want? For her to pop on a pair of roller skates and skate across the damn deck? Still, she attempted to pick up her pace.

By the final pot of the night, she had had it. Sure, Jackson had gotten his fair share of ribbing that day, but Jake's attention seemed to be fully on Kyle and how slow she was being. It was the last straw. He'd said something stupid about turtles being faster then her and Kyle snapped. **"I'm going as fast as I fucking can, Jake."**

Everyone stopped, the tension on deck nearly palpable. **"What did you say to me Greenhorn?"**

"**You heard me. I'm going as fast as I can." **

Jake moved from where he was, crossing to look Kyle in the eye. **"Really? Because I'm pretty sure **_**you**_** can do better then that." **

Fire burned in both sets of eyes and Kyle didn't understand. What had she done to earn this? She'd been moving fast, at least she had thought so. The other deckhands had teased her, but it was all in good fun. This, what Jake was doing? It was serious. She didn't want to get into a fight. She wanted to do her damn job and that was it. **"Forget it," **she said, blowing him off.

Jake wasn't sure what he was doing. Both Kyle and Jackson had been doing an alright job today. They'd moved fast and done everything with minimal complaining. Maybe he was just bored, yeah, he'd blame it on the boredom. Then the female Greenhorn was blowing him off, being the non-confrontational person that he knew her to be. **"Don't blow me off, Kyle. Everyone else has been working their asses off and you're just taking your sweet time."**

Really? Was he **seriously** going _there_ with her? Jake could be one of the laziest people Kyle knew. Did she say anything? No, because that was just Jake. You learned to live with it. Though, Kyle had noticed a difference since he had started working with his father. It was like he had grown up some in that respect. Right now, though, it was like he was intentionally picking a fight with her. **"That's funny because you're the only one who's said something about it. Just, leave me alone Jake and let me get back to work."** With that being said, she turned and went back to her station, wanting to clean it up and get below deck. Whispers of a storm had pushed the crew to finish their jobs with speed so they could get below deck before said storm was upon them.

It seemed like Kyle had won for the time being. Jake let her go and left to help the guys finish tying everything down. Still, this struck her as odd. Sure, she and Jake had fought, what best friends didn't from time to time? Sometimes Jake did start a fight with her just to do it, just to watch her react, but never in public like this. It was usually when they were by themselves and other people couldn't hear what was being said. Whatever. Kyle shook her head and popped the lid back onto the bin of bait, hoping it wouldn't get lost in the storm. While doing bait was part of her job, it wasn't her favorite and she relished in any time she got to be away from it.

Within record time, the crew had secured the deck and made their way into the living quarters of the boat. Phil announced they'd be heading into the storm soon and to make sure everything was secured inside the boat as well. As soon as the crew had done that, they set about trying to figure out what to eat, and how to pass the time before they'd be able to pull up more pots. It was going to be a long night.

& &

"**If I eat anymore, I think I'm going to explode**," Corey said as he shoved his plate away from him.

"**Well, you did eat like, six pancakes."**

Everyone laughed and finished off their food. For some reason, the crew had decided they wanted breakfast, though it was eleven o' clock at night. Pancakes just sounded good to them. Jackson had offered to cook and Kyle had told the crew that he made the best pancakes ever. So, Jackson had cooked and Kyle had helped out, though she had to admit cooking was definitely not something she was that good at. She was more of a baker then a cook.

"**I think Kyle was right, Jackson makes the best damn pancakes," **Freddy agreed, patting his now full stomach. **"What'd Phil say?"**

"**Said they were good,"** Jake answered, finishing off what was left of his food. He sat back and elbowed Josh, who had finished eating a few minutes earlier, in the stomach. This resulted in Josh elbowing him back and before they knew it, the brothers were having an all out war in the booth.

Kyle rolled her blue eyes. That stopped when she had to dodge a fist that had nearly collided with her head. **"Hey, Ding and Dong, stop it!"**

Jake huffed and Josh laughed before getting up to collect the dishes. Kyle stood up and gave him a hand. Soon they were washing and drying the plates they'd eaten and the cookware Jackson had used. Kyle looked over her shoulder and laughed as Jackson snoozed on the table, head buried in his arms.

The boat was moving from side to side a little harder then normal as wave after wave crashed into it. They could hear the thunder just over the roar of the waves. **"Wonder how bad it is out there?"**

"**Well, Kyle, why don't you go open the door and find out?" **Jake popped off, rolling his hazel eyes.

"**Uh, no. It was just a question." **The woman dried her hands off on a dishtowel before handing it over to Josh so he could do the same.

"**It was a stupid question."**

"**What the hell is your problem?"**

Jake just looked at her before shaking his head. A hand ran through his hair and he flicked a paper clip at Jackson who didn't even move as it hit his head. Jake felt a sense of sadness at the fact he hadn't woken up the man. **"Nothing,"** he finally managed to get out.

"**Yeah, okay."** Because Kyle really believed him. She shook her head, and breathed out a tired sigh. Whatever. If Jake wanted to be distant and stupid, then let him. Placing a hand on Jackson, she gently shook him.

Jackson looked up through tired eyes and gave a half hearted nod of thanks. A sudden harsh wave hit the boat and both brother and sister, as well as Josh were tossed to the side. Thankfully, no one was really hurt, just a little thrown off balance. Kyle and Jackson stood up, and the man held out a hand for Josh who used it to get to his feet. **"Jesus,"** Jackson muttered before leaving the small group to head to his and Kyle's shared room.

Kyle sat back in her spot and did everything she could to avoid looking at Jake. He was in a foul mood and though she was used to his mood swings, she really didn't want to be a part of it. Josh had gone up to talk to his father, leaving the boy and girl to themselves. After a bit, she felt Jake's eyes on her and she turned her head to meet his gaze. **"What?"**

"**Nothing."**

"**You're really frustrating, you know that?"**

Jake just grinned, already well aware of that fact. **"Yeah, but you should be used to that by now. We've been friends, for what? Twenty-one years?"**

Kyle only nodded in agreement as she watched him light a cigarette. She wanted to know what his problem with her was, why he was all of the sudden down her throat about everything but decided she didn't want to get into it. Not tonight anyway. A soft sigh escaped her lips and she looked back at Jake. **"You relieving your dad tonight? Or is Josh doing it again?"**

"**It's my night. You and Josh can have the room all to yourselves,"** he shot at her, grinning.

The woman rolled her blue eyes. It wasn't like that between herself and Josh and Jake knew that. They were like brother and sister, neither had any type of romantic feelings for the other. It would be a bit weird considering the fact Kyle was holding a torch for Jake. **"Cute," **she replied with a playful glare.

"**Yeah, well, I know I am. If you want to get technical though, the term would be deliciously hot."**

Kyle raised an eyebrow at his words. **"Cocky bastard."**

"**Yep."** He grinned as he slid out of his seat and got to his feet. Jake ruffled the woman's dark wavy hair as he passed her. Before he climbed the stairs leading up to the wheelhouse he turned to face her once more, **"You know, you could come keep me company."**

She turned around in her seat to face him, contemplating his words. With a shrug of her shoulders, she stood up and followed him up the stairs. Josh sat silently in a chair across from his father, watching the waves crash against the side of the boat as Jake and Kyle entered the wheelhouse. **"Worst of the storm is over,"** he said absentmindedly as he turned to face the pair. He heard Phil grunt in response as he looked over points on a map he had spread out before him.

It was minute later that Phil rolled the map back up and turned to face his two sons and Kyle. **"You relieving me?" **he asked his youngest son.

"**Yeah."**

"**Good." **Phil got to his feet and walked toward the door, ready to crash for a few hours. **"Everyone needs to be up in about four hours," **he started, looking down at his watch and mentally counting up to the time. **"So five in the morning, got it?"** he asked before disappearing, not waiting for a response.

Jake nodded as his dad left and sat in the captain's chair. **"You going to bed, Josh?"** he questioned as he noticed his brother get up from his chair.

"**Yeah. I'm gone. You staying Kyle?"**

"**For a while."**

Josh nodded his head and followed his father's steps, ready to catch a few hours of sleep himself. The two were quiet as they watched the rain pour down on the deck of the Cornelia Marie. Wave after wave crashed over her and still, the pair remained silent. It wasn't an awkward thing, it was more like they were both lost in their thoughts.

It seemed like a few hours later that Kyle woke with a start. When had she fallen asleep? Her head turned to look at Jake, who was sitting in his chair, silently glaring. **"What?"** she asked, quite unsure of what she had done now.

"**So much for you staying up with me. Go to bed Kyle,"** Jake all but ordered.

Great. Kyle stood up, too tired to carry out some long, drawn out fight with the man. **"Fine." **With that, she left Jake and his cold as ice attitude toward her.

& &

"**Got another full pot,"** Jake muttered around six the next morning. He and Jackson worked on lifting it up and quickly dumping the contents. Kyle slid in after it was mostly clear and picked out the stragglers before hooking the bait into place. With that finished, she slid out and moved to help Freddy, Josh, and Corey sort out the crab.

Already, they had pulled about six pots. Four were pretty well stocked, one had had maybe twenty, and the last one they pulled out had about two hundred crabs inside. It was a pretty good morning, despite how tired the crew actually was. Before they'd gone on deck to start the day, Phil informed them they would have to pull a twenty-four hour shift to meet their quota and the crew nodded, all trying not to say some negative word or two.

"**So, if this is the last round before we head back to port, why are we throwing the pots back in?" **Kyle asked Freddy who stood beside her.

"**Phil wants to let them soak for a few hours, see if we can get more crabs seeing as we've had good luck from this string. We'll come back before the twenty-four hours is over and haul everything back up and head back to Dutch Harbor. These will be the last pots we get,"** he explained.

Kyle nodded as they finished sorting the crab. By then, the boys were hauling up another pot and she heard Jake yell at her to get a move on. With a barely suppressed glare, she did as he said. A blast of icy Arctic water washed over the boat and Kyle shivered as it hit her. Yeah, that definitely helped to wake her up some.

The rest of the day passed much the same except for a few minor incidents. Waves washed over the boat, the guys were once thrown to the side, and a crab pot nearly took out Jackson. This was about the time they were hitting the twenty-hour mark. They took an hour break to get warm and get food into their system. The next three hours were spent hauling more crab, getting doused by the Arctic water, and getting on each others nerves due to exhaustion.

It was well worth it though, because they would have a few days of rest as they headed back to Dutch Harbor to unload the boat. Phil called them over the sound system, telling them to pack it in, yet another storm would be heading their way as they made their way back to the harbor. A sudden fire seemed to be lit under their asses and they moved quickly before everyone disappeared inside.

It was a sudden shove that woke Kyle up. She'd been standing in the ready room, taking off her gear when Jake suddenly pushed her. Her mind jolted from it's exhausted state and she stared at him, trying to figure out what she had done. **"What?"** she finally managed to ask.

"**You were standing in the way."**

"**And a 'hey could you move' was too much effort?"**

Jake just grinned and shook his head. **"Exactly, you know me so well."**

"**Ass,"** she muttered under her breath as she removed the rest of the gear. She stalked out of the ready room and into the galley, throwing herself down next to Freddy. Freddy raised an eyebrow at her and she just shook her head. **"Jake's an ass,"** she offered as a way of explaining. He merely chuckled and shook his head. It wasn't much later that she got up and left for her room, mumbling some form of goodnight as she went.

Just as she was drifting off to sleep, she felt the bed dip and did her best to ignore the warm body beside her. She didn't care who it was, she just wanted sleep. An arm wrapped firmly around her waist and this woke her up. No one did that, no one but Jake. She ignored him the best she could, fighting her questioning mind as it did everything it could to wake her up.

Jake watched as Kyle slept. He was pretty sure she wasn't actually asleep but he wasn't about to wake her up. Lately, Jake didn't know how he felt when it came to Kyle and that was annoying him more then anything. He was annoyed by her presence on the boat, but at the same time, wasn't. It was more then obvious to him he was being an ass to her and for really no good reason. He couldn't help himself though. When he wanted to be nice, he couldn't. When he wanted to be an ass, well, he could. The thing that bothered him the most, he found himself considering, was that she didn't swoon like other girls did. Maybe it was because they were best friends and she was just used to him. Still, she was only a girl, and every girl swooned over him, right? She was the only one that put up with his crap and it almost seemed willingly that she did so. Why would someone do that though? Jake's head was starting to hurt and he told his mind to shut up because he really didn't want to think about it.

"**Go away,"** Kyle's voice finally broke the silence.

The man didn't do anything, just laid beside her. His arm held her tighter, fingers tracing circles on the woman's side. **"No,"** he answered simply.

"**I mean it, Jake. I don't want you in here. You've got your own bed, go to it."** At this, she attempted to move out of his grip.

Jake wasn't having any of this though. **"No,"** he said again.

Finally, the brunette opened her eyes, blue meeting hazel. **"I'm mad at you. Go away." **She watched as Jake just ignored her words. That wasn't fair. When he was an ass, she let it go and left him alone. When she was mad, Jake didn't go away. It was more then infuriating. **"Whatever,"** she breathed out, turning her head the opposite direction. That was how she fell asleep; Jake's arm around her waist, fingers rubbing circles.

[ Cold As You – Taylor Swift ]


	5. Chapter Five

As always, thank you so much to everyone reading this story. It's been fun to write so far, and it's far from over, so look forward to good things ahead. [: Special thanks to Kairo, Mahone-chic-89, ordermask, and NicoleVonDee (Who is basically my other half and has been amazing! Thanks so much girl!) for their support and their reviews.

**Disclaimer:  
****See chapter one. **

**As inhibitions fade, a focused moment made  
**_Chapter Five **!**_

Kyle, Jackson, Josh, Jake, Corey, and Freddy stood on top of thousands of crabs, picking up armfuls and tossing them into a tall, circular basket. All five were exhausted, but the thought of getting at least a day off to be on dry land was pushing them to unload the crab they had caught on the open waters of the Bering Sea as quickly as possible.

They moved back as another basket full of crab moved out of the tank. Seconds later, another was lowered in. Hours seemed to pass by like weeks but finally they unloaded the last of the crab. With a cry of joy and excitement they celebrated in the now empty tank. Captain Phil looked on with a mix of pride and amusement etched on his face. He'd let the group celebrate now, but tomorrow they would be going back out to the sea and more twenty-four hours days of hauling pots would be upon them.

"**What are you going to do with your day off?"** Freddy asked as everyone walked off of the boat.

"**I just want to walk on solid ground for a while,"** Jackson answered, having missed being on dry land. **"Maybe head to the Elbow Room for a drink, or five,"** he joked with a grin. **"Kyle said she meet us over there when she's finished."**

Jake looked around, noticing the brunette haired woman was not with them. **"Where is she anyway?"**

"**Wanted to take a shower and clean up,"** his brother answered. The guys had already showered and were good to go. They were considerate enough to give Kyle the run of the boat, for now anyway. Josh shoved his hands into his pockets as they walked down the dock, stepping off onto the iced over pavement.

"**Me and Corey are going to head to the store, pick up a few things. You guys want anything?"** Freddy asked as he and Corey prepared to separate from the other three.

Jackson, Josh, and Jake shook their heads no, but thanked the guys anyway before starting in the direction of the Elbow Room.

& &

Even after three thorough washings, she still smelled like crab. Nothing Kyle did covered the smell and she hated that. Her fingers ran product through her hair, scrunching it to make the usual waves she liked. As far as hair and make-up went, she was set. Make-up was not a priority, a little bit of cover up and she was good to go. Plus, that helped in covering her nearly always red cheeks. In the clothing department though, she wasn't so lucky. Kyle hadn't thought ahead to what she might when they were at a harbor. What had been most important was packing warm clothing for the long nights on the freezing deck.

The woman bit her lip as she mulled over her clothing options. The only nice things she had brought were a practically unworn pair of jeans, a black baby doll dress, and a pair of fairly new black Converse. Her blue eyes looked to the other option; jeans, a plain Kelly green polo, and her black Converse. **"Screw it." **She muttered as she scooped up the jeans and slid them on before picking up the black dress. A few moments later she was grabbing her clutch and heading out of the boat. Tonight was about being a girl, not one of the boys. Her fingers traced the doubled over strand of pearls she had around her neck, given to her by her grandmother, as she walked along the dock.

The sun was setting, seeming to sink into the very ocean she'd been on mere hours earlier. For some reason, butterflies floated sporadically in her stomach. What was she so nervous about? It was just another night spent with her crew mates, right? Christ, she wished it was that simple. This was about showing them them yeah, she could get dirty with them, but also that she was a girl. She was pretty in pearls, she was one of the girls, she was Kyle Jace McDaniel. Fuck her life.

As she entered the Elbow Room, she did her best to avoid any contact with the guys of the Cornelia Marie. She needed a bit to clear her head. What was she doing? She began to have a panic attack. Kyle did her best to slide calmly onto a barstool, telling her racing heart to just calm down. Waving the bartender over, she gave him a small smile before ordering a whiskey sour. Yeah, that would do the trick.

"**You alright?"**

The woman jumped as a man with light brown hair swept strategically over his right eye, hazel eyes, and some what puppy like features asked. She hadn't even noticed she'd sat next to someone and she offered him an apologetic smile. **"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry. I didn't even notice I was sitting next to someone."**

The man laughed and gave her a warm smile. **"It's alright. I really don't mind the ****company. I'm Nicholas by the way."**

"**I'm Kyle,"** she replied, taking his now extended hand and shaking it. **"What brings you to Alaska?"**

"**I'm a freelance photographer. At the moment I'm doing a stint for National Geographic,"** he explained. **"And you?"**

Kyle smiled at the bartender as he handed her her drink. She took a sip before looking back at Nicholas. **"I work on a crab boat."**

"**Do you? Not many women in that profession. You must be a tough woman."**

Shrugging her shoulders, she offered him a small smile. **"Yeah, I guess I can hold my own."**

& &

Jake's eyes narrowed as he spotted Kyle at the bar with a guy, a guy who no one seemed to know. He didn't like it, he didn't like it at all. He took a swig from his beer before trying to get himself back into the conversation he, Corey, Freddy, Josh, and Jackson were having over crab numbers. Still, his attention turned to his best friend every once in a while. That was his friend and she was a woman, it was his duty to look out for her, right? For some reason the guy she was talking with rubbed Jake the wrong way and he wasn't even sure why.

This didn't go unnoticed by Josh and he shook his head. **"You're such an idiot,"** he said to his brother, elbowing the younger man.

"**What the fuck?"** he asked.

Josh didn't answer, just rolled his eyes and went back to the conversation at hand. Sure, Jake could be smart but when it came to certain things, he could be really dim. He couldn't see what was right in front of him and Josh resented his brother for that. Jake had someone who put up with all his shit and he just blew it all, like it was nothing. The man didn't even realize what he had. Part of him just wanted to tell Jake how Kyle felt, but knew that would be betraying the woman he felt was a like a sister to him.

"**I'm going to go get more beer. Who wants more?"** Jake asked as he got to his feet. He didn't even need another but the guy talking with Kyle was beginning to annoy him. Luckily, Jackson, Corey, and Freddy needed refills. He gave a nod before going to the bar. He stopped just a few stools down from Kyle and her mystery guy. Here he could hear their conversation and everything in him wanted to break it up. What was she thinking? She should be with her crew, not with some random guy. This was Kyle, for Christ's sakes. Wasn't Jake supposed to be the one flirting and being the cocky bastard? Not that Kyle was being cocky or anything.

Kyle looked up suddenly, meeting Jake's dark gaze. Something was brewing under the surface of those deep eyes and if Kyle didn't know better, she would have said it looked something like jealousy. She was Kyle though, Jake's best friend, not someone he was interested in. Her eyes moved over him for a minute while Nicholas talked about the various places his work had taken him. Jake was wearing her favorite outfit; a white v-neck shirt, plaid button-up over that, and his favorite brown beanie was situated over his dark hair. Damn him, she felt like melting. She snapped out of her Jake-induced haze and focused back on Nicholas, saying the right things in the appropriate places.

"**Hey, you want to get out of here?"** Nicholas asked.

This question seemed to shake both Kyle and Jake. Their eyes met for a second before Kyle turned her attention fully back on Nicholas, completely ignoring Jake. She nodded and smiled coyly at the man. **"Yeah, I'd like that."**

With that, Nicholas put money on the bar, enough to pay for both of their tabs and offered Kyle his hand. She took it gratefully and they left Jake, the rest of the Cornelia Marie, and what was left of Kyle's heart in the smoky atmosphere of the Elbow Room.

Jake watched them leave and for some reason, he became angry. What was she thinking? What if he was some psychopathic serial rapist? What if something happened to her? She was being so stupid! He ordered the beers he was supposed to get and brought them back to the table, dropping them onto the wooden surface in front of his friends. **"She's so stupid," **he muttered, shaking his head.

"**What are you talking about?" **Jackson asked.

"**You're fucking sister left with a complete stranger. Doesn't she realize how fucking stupid that is?" **Jake answered, swallowing down what was left of his warm beer.

Josh looked at Jackson, who in turn looked at him. **"She wouldn't be leaving with some stranger if someone wasn't so blind," **Josh countered. His brother shot him a look that obviously said 'what the fuck?' **"Come on, Jake. Open your eyes, dude."**

They were crazy. That's what was going on. He was friends with a bunch of lunatics, and a girl that was just asking for it, and not in the way she should be getting it. Fuck. No, no fuck. **"Aren't you going to go get her?" **he asked Kyle's twin.

"**She's a big girl, Jake. I'm not her dad and I'd rather not see what she and whoever that was are getting up to. The use of my eyeballs trumps going blind, thanks." **Jackson picked up his beer and took a swig from it, trying his best not to laugh. It wasn't often they saw Jake freak out about anything. Usually, he was calm and cocky. Now? This was completely different Jake they were looking at. **"If you want to go be her knight in shinning armor, go for it."**

Jake thought about this. He had a bad feeling about what was going on and he was still confused as to what Josh had been referring to. Surely he didn't mean Kyle liked him, right? They were best friends. Kyle knew that, and so did Jake. Best friends, shit. **"If you four jackasses won't go after her, then I guess I'll have to."** He got up and shot the guys a glare before following the path Kyle had taken not long ago.

"**You think he'll ever get it?" **Corey asked, shaking his head, feeling a little bad for Kyle.

Josh wasn't sure, neither was Jackson. Sometimes, you had to spell things out for Jake, other times he figured it out on his own. Josh had all but told Jake how Kyle felt and he still seemed oblivious. **"I don't know, dude. Guess we'll just have to see."**

& &

"**I guess going back to your boat would be out of the question, huh?" **Nicholas asked as he and Kyle walked the barren streets of Dutch Harbor.

Kyle simply laughed and nodded her head. Yeah, she wasn't sure if Captain Phil would be too keen on the idea of her bringing a guy back to the boat. She was sure that crossed some kind of line, plus the idea made Kyle a little uncomfortable. Kyle knew what came next, she was no virgin, but still, she tended to like to be in a relationship before things got intensely physical. Truth was, she didn't want to go anywhere with Nicholas. Kyle wasn't even sure why she'd accepted his invitation to leave the Elbow Room. Maybe it had something to do with the way Jake had looked at her, or maybe it was the fact she wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine. Whatever the case, she was out and this was apparently going to happen. **"We could always go back to your hotel room,"** she said as they paused to turn and face each other.

Just as they turned to make their way to where Nicholas had been staying while in Dutch Harbor, a familiar voice stopped them in their tracks, or at least it had stopped Kyle.

"**Kyle, there you are,"** Jake said as he reached the couple. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and offered the woman a smile before glaring at the man beside her. **"Dad wants to leave tonight, so we gotta go."**

For some reason, Kyle wanted to breathe a sigh of relief. Nicholas was nice enough, sure, but this stopped the woman from making a mistake. She regarded Jake for a minute before turning to look at Nicholas. **"I'm really sorry, Nicholas. I've got to go. ****You should call me sometime, or look me up if you ever come back," **she said as she leaned up and kissed the man on his cheek.

"**Yeah, I understand. Duty calls."** He paused briefly, seeming to contemplate something before he pulled out a card, handing it to the brunette. **"Give me a call,"** he said before turning and leaving, shoulders lowered a bit.

Once the man had walked away, Jake turned to face Kyle, anger written on his once calm and smiling face. **"What were you thinking?"**

What the hell? Kyle thought girls were supposed to be the only ones with mood swings, then again, this was Jake. **"What?"**

"**What were you doing leaving with some guy you don't even know?" **Jake asked, glaring down at the woman.

"**Oh please, don't start with me. You do it all the time. Well, not with guys, but you get the picture,"** Kyle shot back. He had some nerve, really. It was the fact that they were not moving back toward the dock where the Cornelia Marie rested that made the woman realize something wasn't quite right. **"Phil didn't want to leave tonight, did he?"**

"**No." **The man answered, not even looking the least bit remorseful of the fact he had broken up what could have been a good night. Though, Kyle wasn't sure she would have gone through with it anyway, and she wasn't about to start thanking him for kind of saving her.

"**Great. Thanks, Jake. You know, you should really start minding your own business."**

"**Hey, I saved your ass."  
**

"**I didn't need saving, genius. I was _willingly_ going with Nicholas. It wasn't like he was out to rape me or anything."**

"**How do you know?"**

Damn him and his good questions. Truth was, Kyle didn't know but she wasn't going to admit defeat by admitting that. She looked at Jake again; the outfit, the way he was being protective, the look of danger in his eyes, the confusion. **"Just leave me alone, Jake."**

"**Now what's your problem?"** So much for a 'thank you Jake for saving my life. I owe you.' He tugged off his beanie and ran a hand through his hair, pausing a moment to look Kyle over. Tonight, she looked good. He could almost understand why Nicholas, or douche-bag as he had so named him, wanted to take Kyle back to his place. Oh, he did not just think that.

"**You. You are my problem,"** she answered simply. Then it was raining, pouring down on the girl and boy. Kyle shivered, feeling extremely stupid for not having brought a jacket along.

"**What did I do?"**

Kyle wanted to deck him, or do something else, but the latter was not ever going to happen. So, instead of giving into the raging lust she felt, she settled for being angry with him. **"You ruined a perfectly good night."**

"**Can we talk about this inside?" **Jake asked as he took Kyle by the arm, wanting to get out of the cold rain. He was shocked when she wrenched away from him.

"**No. I'm not going anywhere with you. I'm pissed off at you and you can't sweet talk your way out of this. I'm tired of you being so fucking bipolar around me. One minute, we're fine, the next I've done something to piss you off. You're an asshole and can't stand when someone might actually find a bit of happiness. If you're not in the picture, it doesn't work for you,"** she ranted on, not even half sure of what she was saying.

Again, Jake took her by the arm, this time able to maneuver them into alley way between an abandoned building and the shop Corey and Freddy had gone into earlier. **"Kyle, I'm sorry."**

"**Sorry won't cut it this time,"** she answered immediately. She shivered as cold water dripped down her forehead, hitting her nose. This didn't go unnoticed by Jake. He slipped out of his plaid button down and threw it around the woman's shoulders. She glared and he just stood there. **"Well?"**

Jake stood motionless for a minute, millions of thoughts going round and round in his muddled mind. What was going on? Why was he suddenly so attracted to the angry brunette? Why was he so bipolar around her? Why did she aggravate him? Suddenly, the simple fact she was his best friend didn't seem to cut it anymore. His hands went to either side of her head, resting on the brick wall behind her. Hazel eyes met blue and he wasn't sure what the next move was. Well, he was, but the fact his was his best friend and he was seeing her in a whole new light was throwing him off his game.

"**Jake?"** Kyle asked, feeling somewhat shell shocked. Never had Jake looked at her like he was now. Part of her wanted to run because this wasn't good. They were just caught in a moment, right? It was the fighting, the rain, the adrenaline; this would stop and Kyle could go back to wanting but not touching. The way he was looking at her made her hope, and that was something that she could not handle. **"Jake?"** she asked again.

Words, apparently, were overrated. As lightning filled the sky, Jake leaned down and his lips were mere inches from Kyle's. Both hearts pounded rabidly in time, eyes stared, and breaths mingled. He was going to pull away, she was going to pull away; they could both feel it. As thunder sounded, Jake crashed his lips on top of hers and Kyle's arms wound around his neck, pulling him closer to her.

It was both heaven and hell; one heart swelled with joy as the other backed away in fear. Neither pulled away for neither could back down. Hands ran down sides, fingers carded through locks of dark hair, fingers trailed over smooth expanses of skin, and names were uttered in hushed tones.

"**Kyle!" **A voice said through the pounding rain. **"Phil wants us back on the boat,"** Josh called. Where the hell were Kyle and Jake? It was as he rounded the corner that they appeared, one looking cocky as usual, the other looked down, cheeks burning red. Shit.

[ Bruises and Bitemarks – Good With Grenades ]


	6. Chapter Six

Hey all! So, as always, much thanks to everyone who's reading this story. Specials thanks to NicoleVonDee, Kairo, Mahone-chic-89, and Archermusican who've reviewed this story. Thank you for the encouragement and your positive feedback. It means a lot to me. [: This chapter, by the way, is more of a filler. It gave me such a hard time when I was trying to write it. It's not exactly what I wanted but I just had to let it go. I've decided I'm going to go ahead and answer reviews here so bare with me for a minute.

**Mahone-chic-89:  
**Thank you so much! I was nervous to write it, haha. I wanted it to be perfect! I'm glad it planted the visual it did, that's exactly what I was hoping for.

**Kairo:  
**Thanks! I'm glad you thought so. [:

**Archermusician:  
**Haha. You're right. Exactly! Sometimes you need a little jealousy to help open your eyes, at least in Jake and Kyle's case. And thank you for that, I really appreciate it.

**Disclaimer:  
****See chapter one.**

**Looking at you makes it harder  
**_Chapter Six _!

Jake stared out at the dark sea, eyes moving from the sea to the sky riddled with stars above. His father sat beside him, pouring over maps and charts. The morning they had left, Jake had immediately retreated up here. It was the one place he could get away. His dad had given him a bit of a hard time at first, but Jake, in true Jake fashion, ignored his father.

Ever since he and Kyle had, well, kissed, he couldn't be around her. It unnerved him to do so and Jacob Harris did not get unnerved. For the first time in his life, he was scared. He'd never felt like this, ever. It was throwing him off. He hated yet enjoyed the rush it gave him all the same.

A tired hand ran through his hair before he ran it over his face. **"Are we going back to the same grounds?"** he asked his dad, breaking the silence.

Phil looked over at his son, giving a nod in reply. **"Yeah. Our numbers were good there so we're going to try again in the same spot."**

"**Okay."** Jake nodded as he propped his feet up on the chair opposite him. He caught his dad looking at him but didn't bother asking 'what' or anything like that. He didn't want to talk, plain and simple. Jake knew he was being a coward, that by avoiding his best friend he was, in a sense, running. Did he actually care? Not really. He rested the back of his head against the seat and closed his eyes.

& &

Kyle moved around the galley, pouring various ingredients into a mixing bowl. She'd gotten restless during the night and gotten up, wanting to bake cupcakes. Jake and Jackson had been the main ones doing the cooking and that was fine by the rest of the crew; both had pretty good culinary skills. Kyle couldn't cook for anything, but she could bake.

She leaned up against the counter, using a fork to mix the ingredients she had poured into a white bowl. She was pretty sure she was going to regret not trying to sleep more but her mind wouldn't allow for any type of rest. A soft sigh escaped her lips as she continued to mix the ingredients. Jake hadn't talked to her since _that_ night. Kyle felt like she should have known, it should have occurred to her that it had meant nothing. Jake had given her hope and Kyle hated him for that.

"**What are you doing?"**

Turning around, she was surprised to find a groggy looking Josh entering the galley. She nodded toward the box of cake mix and he nodded in turn. **"Couldn't sleep,"** she said finally.

"**So you decided to bake a cake?" **Josh asked as he ran a hand through his hair. He was tired and probably should have been trying to sleep more but he wasn't able to. He shook his head as he got up, going to the refrigerator and pulling out a can of Red Bull.

Kyle laughed, **"Cupcakes, actually."** She nodded as Josh offered her a Red Bull and she took it. Setting the bowl down, she popped the tab on her energy drink before taking a deep drink from it. She and Josh hadn't talked since the night he'd stumbled upon her and Jake. He hadn't asked and she hadn't said a word about it. Sooner or later though, someone would break, it was only a matter of time.

"**Sounds good,"** he said as he sat back and watched Kyle move to the baking tin she had just pulled out. Josh turned away and put his can on the table before scooping up his pack of cigarettes and pulling one out. He lit the tip and breathed in before exhaling the smoke into the galley. Tilting his head, he observed Kyle as she poured the batter into the cupcake molds. **"What are you thinking about?"**

"**Nothing."** She answered almost immediately as she shoved the tin into top rack of the oven.

Josh didn't believe this for a second. He knew Kyle too well. When she was thinking about something, she couldn't sleep, and when she couldn't sleep, she started baking. Whether Kyle realized this or not, it was the truth. He slid the pack of cigarettes over to her as she sat down across from him. He waited until she had her cigarette lit before he opened his mouth once more. **"What were you and Jake doing at Dutch, right before I came for you?"**

"**Talking,"** she said, trying to act as calm and casual as possible. This would have worked out well if she hadn't started blushing.

"**Kyle."**

"**Josh."**

He shook his head and gave her a look that said he knew her better then that, and that she was obviously lying. **"You know that I know that you're lying. You don't tell me and I'll just start thinking it's worse then it actually is."**

Kyle did know this. She guessed her theory about it only being a matter of time had been correct, it seemed the time was now. **"Nothing happened,"** she tried again. It was the look that Josh sent her that made the brunette start talking. She inhaled on the cigarette and exhaled, **"I left with that guy, Nicholas, you saw that. I wasn't going to let anything happened, at least, I hadn't wanted to. Jake came along not too long after and said some bullshit about Phil wanting to leave. I believed him and left Nicholas. Come to find out, Phil didn't want to leave, not then anyway. We got into an argument, it started raining, and we moved into an alleyway to catch a break from it." **She had to look away from Josh as she relayed the next part of the story to him, the embarrassment and the feelings from that night washing through her. **"He stopped, trapped me against the wall, and just stared at me. It freaked me out and I couldn't get him to snap out of if. Next thing I know we're kissing."**

This information seemed to wake Josh up a bit. **"What?"**

"**Yeah, I don't know what happened. It had to have just been the adrenaline from the argument and the rain, you know?"** Did Kyle actually believe that? The answer to that, though she wished that it was, was not that simple. Jake was complicated. He didn't wear his emotions on his sleeve like Josh tended to do, he bottled up everything and could be extremely hard to read. There was a moment when they were looking into each other's eyes that Kyle could swear that he understood, that he got how Kyle felt toward him. It was then that a sense of hope was given to her and she hated that, she really did.

Josh wasn't sure what to say or do. While he might have suspected this from Kyle's reddened cheeks the night before, he hadn't actually thought anything had gone on. Apparently he had been very, very wrong. **"Yeah,"** he answered. What had Jake done?

& &

The crew had woken up to the smell of freshly baked cupcakes and coffee. It was the first time they'd gotten to experience Kyle's baking and all were grateful for it. Everyone but Jake had said something about it and that hadn't bothered Kyle. She was already used to the silence. Sure, it hurt a bit, but if that was how Jake wanted to play it, then that's how they were going to do it.

"**Alright, let it go,"** Captain Phil said once he and his crew were settled back on the Bering Sea, ready to release the pots into the Arctic water.

Freddy gave a nod before raising the lift and letting the pot slide into the water. Jackson picked up the extra rope and tossed it into the ocean and Jake flung the buoys into the water quickly after. They were on a twenty pot prospect string a bit off of the grounds Phil usually liked to fish at. He'd caught wind of it being a prime spot and he was on it before too many others could stake their claim. Kyle helped to maneuver the pot onto the lift before going back for the bait she would need to hook into the pot. With the bait in hand, she hustled back to the pot and slid inside, hooking the bait over her head.

"**Okay guys, we're going to set this final pot then go 'round and pick up the string we set last night,"** Phil called out over the hailer. He watched as the nodded and flashed him the sign for okay before telling them to let the last pot go.

& &

The crew gathered around the table in the galley for a two hour break as they headed for the string they'd set the night before. Jake stirred the macaroni he had cooling on the stove before telling everyone it was ready. He'd made a baked chicken and macaroni, a favorite meal of his and Josh's father. He scooped up a good helping of the cheesy side dish and cut of a bit of the chicken and put them both on the plate.

"**This for your dad?"** Kyle asked, looking at the plate rather then Jake. He only nodded and the brunette haired woman picked up the warm plate. She turned and headed for the wheelhouse. While Josh and Jake did what they could to make sure the elder man took care of himself, Kyle wanted to help out as well. Phil was like a second father to her and if anything happened to him, well, it would be incredibly sad. She didn't even want to think about it. **"Hey Captain Phil,"** she said softly as she took the last step into his wheelhouse.

Phil turned to look at the woman, a smile on his face. **"What's that, Half-Pint?"** he asked as he held out his hand for plate resting in Kyle's hands.

"**Chicken and macaroni, Jake cooked it." **Kyle handed over the food before digging in the pocket of the hooded sweatshirt she'd borrowed from Josh. **"And a cupcake from this morning. Saved an extra just for you,"** she said as she gave him the plastic bag, the cupcake resting safely inside.

The elder man smiled at the woman and thank her as he took the cupcake from her as well. **"You doing okay?"** He asked as he picked up his fork and dug into his meal.

"**Yeah, a little tired but I'm good. Hey Phil, thanks for giving me this shot. I just wanted dad to be proud of me, you know? Jackson's always wanted to follow in his footsteps, I've wanted to do the same. Mom never liked that though, you know that."**

Phil did know. Pamela had never been fond of her son going into the crabbing business, she'd fought him on it but in the end, she'd had to give in. When Kyle wanted in, the woman had nearly had a heart attack. Pam still wasn't happy with Phil and Art letting Kyle go, she was furious with her daughter for wanting to go into the dangerous profession. **"Yeah, I know. You're doing a good job, you and your brother."**

Kyle smiled at that, glad for Phil's words of approval. **"I'll let you get back to your dinner. Call if you need anything."**

& &

Kyle slipped into her room, wanting to get into some warmer clothes before they headed out to the deck to pull up one of the strings they'd set. It was going to be a twenty-four to thirty hour day, from what Kyle was hearing. While she wasn't exactly excited for it, it would give her something to do and for that she was grateful. She slid out of her pajama pants and t-shirt, grabbing for her sweatpants and long sleeve shirt. The door closing opposite her didn't register in her mind as she slid the pants on. It was when she turned around, ready to put the t-shirt over head that she noticed that someone was in the room with her.

"**Jake?"** She questioned as she slid the shirt over her head and putting her arms through the sleeves of the shirt. How long had he been there, she wondered. Had he seen her without the cover of her clothing? The thought brought a blush to her cheeks.

Jake stood there for a minute, contemplating what he wanted to say. Nothing was sounding right and he turned back to the door. He looked back before opening it and leaving just as quietly as he had entered.

She just, stood there. What was that? For a moment, she let her mind wander to a place she rarely liked to visit. After the intensity, electricity, and passion in that moment they had shared her mind tended to wander to the darker, lustier part of her brain. It wasn't fair how he did that to her. Whatever it was that had passed between them moments ago, she wondered what it would be like to walk in on him. They had not had a moment alone since then and she was glad for that. Her self control would be put to the test and she wasn't sure she'd be able to overcome it. Again, her cheeks turned a deep shade of red and it took her a bit to shake it off.

& &

They were averaging forty to sixty a pot and the crew were in high spirits. No one was sure what brought on their good luck but it the crew of the Cornelia Marie were not complaining, not in the least. They were twelve hours into their thirty hour day and a storm was fast approaching.

The entire crew was moving as fast as possible to get the fifty pot string unloaded and the pots secured on deck. Jake and Kyle moved around each other; not talking, not touching, not even looking at the other. Anytime Kyle even attempted to look at Jake, her cheeks would flush and she'd go back to sorting the crab.

Twenty-eight hours in, they were puling up the fifth to last pot in their string. They were pulling up blanks and it was frustrating them all. **"Where'd all the crab go?"** Freddy asked with a shake of his head. The crew was tired, hungry, and teetering on heading head first into zombie mode.

"**Fuck if I know."** Jackson said as they moved the empty pot over to where the other pots were locked up securely. He slid it into place and he and Jake locked it safely into place.

It seemed to take a lot longer then six hours but they finally hauled the last of their pots up and secured them in place. Rain was beginning to fall down on the crew as they fastened their gear to make sure it wouldn't get knocked off when the waves crashed over the abandoned deck.

An hour later the crew was taking their gear off in the ready room, getting ready for a five hour break. They hung their rain gear on the hooks before filing into the galley. Freddy, Jackson, and Corey crashed at the table, all three heads burying into their arms. Josh walked around, trying to figure out what he could cook for the dinner. Jake headed for the shower as Murray went up to relieve Phil. Kyle, who had stayed behind in the ready room, worked on finishing off the cigarette she'd lit just moments before the crew had come inside.

Kyle entered the galley a little later and groaned as she shifted around Jackson, who had moved from the table to the floor, promptly falling back asleep there. She pushed open the door to her room and set about stripping off her wet clothing. Only after she'd pulled on her pajama pants and a fresh t-shirt, did she realize that her favorite hooded sweatshirt, which had at one point belonged to Jake, was missing. **"Fuck,"** she muttered as she opened the door and moved past her sleeping crew mates.

It seemed to be a night for awkward happenings, at least that's what Kyle would think later. She thought maybe Jake had taken his hooded sweatshirt back so she went to his and Josh's room to retrieve it. Only, she hadn't thought to knock and what she saw was the last thing she expected.

Her blue eyes widened as she stood behind Jake, towel wrapped securely around his waist. Fresh from the shower he'd just taken, rivulets of water were sliding down his back. Kyle felt her stomach flutter with something she didn't want even want to look at too closely. Jake turned to face her and the two just stared at each other. Kyle had said, well thought, it once and she would say-slash-think it again, fuck her life.

[ Already Gone - Kelly Clarkson ]


	7. Chapter Seven

Chapter seven, everyone! Thank you for sticking with this story and reviewing. You have no idea how much your support means to me! Thank you to Mahone-chic-89, Kairo, and NicolveVonDee for reviewing!

**Mahone-chic-89:  
**Thank you! I'm so happy you're loving it. [:  
**Kairo:  
**Haha. We'll just have to see. She is! I feel bad for her. It was, wasn't it? I was hoping everyone would see it that way. Thank you for that!  
**NicoleVonDee:  
**Woo! I'm so glad! Haha. The exact reaction I was looking for. =P Uh, yeah, I could too. Haha. Dude, I'm so stoked for it!

**Now's the time to close your eyes and see what you've got here  
**_Chapter Seven **!**_

It had literally been the last thing Kyle had expected. It took everything in her not to act on her vaguely dirty thoughts, though her cheeks would surely give them away somewhat. At first, Jake just looked back at Kyle, not much showing in his hazel eyes. It took him a minute to snap out of it and he finally smirked at Kyle's red cheeks.

"**You going to just stand there and eyeball me?"**

This snapped Kyle out of her daze and she glared at him. **"Where's my hoodie?" **she asked, doing her best to ignore the way _that _smirk made her feel.

Jake shrugged his shoulder and looked toward the pile of clothing behind him. **"Maybe in there somewhere."**

Huffing, Kyle moved over to the pile of clothes and began sorting through them, looking for her favorite sweatshirt. **"Why do you even have it?"** She grumbled as she picked through Jake's clothing, smiling slightly when she came upon her favorite plaid over shirt of his.

"**You left it in here the other night,"** Jake said as he shifted the towel on his waist, tightening the knot.

Kyle stood up, hooded sweatshirt and Jake's plaid shirt in her hands. **"Sure. I'm taking this, though,"** she told him. She went back to her position at the door, free hand going to her hip as she surveyed Jake's towel clad body once more. **"You should probably get dressed."**

"**You know you like it,"** Jake shot back.

The woman shook her head, turning to leave the man behind. **"Whatever, Jake."**

It was then that a rouge wave hit the Cornelia Marie, jostling her crew. Everyone who was asleep was quickly woken up, though they found themselves in different spots. The lights were out for a few minutes before they flickered back on. Everyone was up, moving around the galley and living quarters, making sure everything and everyone was alright.

Jake got to his feet and looked around the room, already noticing a few things he'd have to clean up. **"Shit,"** he muttered, running a hand through his hair. He slid on a pair of boxers and sweatpants before going to help Kyle to her feet. **"You alright?"**

"**Fuck, my shoulder,"** Kyle breathed out, trying not to make the pain she was actually in apparent. Attempting to lift it, she grimaced, spasms of pain shooting through her shoulder and down her arm.

"**Take your shirt off,"** he told her as he got on his knees beside her. Jake ended up having to help her and a few seconds later, her shirt was lying discarded on the floor a bit away from them. His hazel eyes looked over her shoulder and he gave a nod, **"You popped it out of the socket."**

"**No shit, sherlock,"** she shot at him. **"Sorry, it just fucking hurts."** Kyle had never had anything like this happen to her before. She'd never been stung by anything and had never broken a bone. Coming to work on a crabbing boat was a sure fire way to gain a few injuries here and there. The worst that had happened to her were bruises and plenty of cuts.

Opening the door behind them, he called out for Josh and some Advil. Minutes later Josh and Jackson were sliding into the room, bottle of water and Advil in hand. He handed them both to Jake who made Kyle take them, and she did so with a small smile.

"**What happened?"** Jackson asked as he helped Kyle up and to Josh's bunk.

"**That wave that hit us, knocked me into the wall, popped my shoulder out of the socket,"** Kyle answered, Advil quickly taking effect. **"Are you going to pop it back in, or what?"**

Jake nodded and looked over at Josh, **"Yeah, lay down on the floor, Ky."** It was few seconds later that they laid her out on the floor. **"I'm not going to lie, it's going to hurt like a bitch."**

"**Kyle, look at me,"** Josh instructed as he made her meet his gaze. **"You're going to have to relax and take deep breaths. The more you tense, the more it's going to hurt so don't tense. It'll be a lot better if you can just relax."**

Kyle nodded her head and tried to breath. She knew this was going to hurt, at least from the sounds of it. They were preparing her for pain and Kyle was trying to stomach it. **"Yeah, I got it. Just get it over with."**

Jake nodded and slowly moved Kyle's arm out to the side before moving it up. He helped her to move her hand behind her head and let her rotate it. **"Alright, reach for your other shoulder,"** he instructed.

That did the trick and Kyle winced as the shoulder popped right back into the socket. She gave it a moment before sitting up, working her arm and shoulder with her hand. **"Jesus,"** she said quietly. **"Thank you guys."**

Jake and Josh nodded their heads. **"You okay?"**

"**Yeah, I'll be fine."**

& &

The crew was hustling around deck, pulling pots and and stacking them. It was the last string of the King Crab season and they'd actually done really well. Their tanks were nearly full, this last string would finish them up. The rouge wave had done damage to the Cornelia Marie's deck and the crew were jumping around missing boards and avoiding debris. They were lucky this time, not much damage had been done. Everything that had took a hit, could wait until they got back to port to be fixed. Injuries were minimal; Kyle's shoulder had popped out of place, Josh had a few minor cuts, Jackson had hit his head, and Phil had a clipboard smack him on the back of the head.

Kyle was moving around the deck alright, her shoulder was causing minor discomfort, but it was nothing she couldn't live with. She would have it checked out when she got to port but was sure that it would be alright.

"**Jackson and Kyle, can you come up to the wheelhouse real fast?"** Phil called out over the hailer.

Jackson and Kyle exchanged a look before leaving the crew to finish cleaning up and stacking the pots securely. They entered into the ready room, passed through the galley, and climbed the stairs up to the wheelhouse. **"Yeah?"** Jackson asked as he and Kyle stood beside Phil's chair.

Phil turned around, cigarette dangling between his fingers. **"You two coming back for opilio?" **he asked, grinning.

Kyle was surprised. **"Uh, yeah. If you want us back."**

"**Yeah, I'm in."**

The captain nodded his head and got up, clapping the boy and girl on the shoulders. **"Your dad's going to be proud."**

& &

They'd finished the season with 270,000 pounds of crab, coming in third behind the Northwestern and the Time Bandit. Everyone was more then ready to get home and have a short break before opilio season began. The offloading process this time around took them close to twenty-four hours to clear out the tanks.

It was after they had finished that that everyone piled back into the galley and separated, each going to their bunks to pack their things and head off of the boat. They had decided to have a round of drinks or two before they left Dutch Harbor and made their way back home.

"**When are you going to tell her you like her?"** Josh asked as he and Jake shoved their clothing into their respective duffel bags.

"**What are you talking about?"**

"**You know what I'm talking about Jake. You like Kyle. I know what happened between you two and and I know you're freaking out."**

"**I'm not freaking out, and I don't like Kyle."** Jake answered as he turned back to his duffel, trying to get all his stuff to fit back inside.

Josh just shook his head, knowing full well his younger brother was lying; not only to himself, but to Josh as well. **"Yeah? I bet I can prove it to you."**

"**Yeah, right."** Jake laughed and zipped up his bag, punching his brother squarely on the arm as he passed him, leaving their room and Josh behind.

Kyle and Jackson had made quick work of packing their things and told everyone they'd seem at the Elbow Room, after Kyle had gone to the emergency clinic to get her shoulder checked out.

& &

"**How is it?"** Freddy asked as Kyle and Jackson appeared an hour or so later at the table the crew of the Cornelia Marie were situated around.

"**It's fine. Said just to lay off it for a while and it should heal. It didn't tear any ligaments, just popped out of place when my shoulder hit that wall."** It seemed luck was on Kyle's side as far as injuries went. They'd suggested she wear a sling to bed, just to make sure it stayed in place as she slept, they'd even provided her with one.

A round of drinks was ordered for the crew and Kyle and Josh got up to get them. As they stood at the bar, Josh seemed to lean closer to Kyle as they talked, waiting for their beer. They were close, standing side by side and if you didn't know Kyle and Josh like the crew did, you would assume there was more then friendship between them.

It was as Josh seemed place a friendly kiss on Kyle's cheek, that Jake noticed a bit of jealousy growing inside of him. He knew, for a fact, that Kyle and Josh had no more then a brother and sister type relationship. The fact his brother was _that_ close to Kyle bothered him way more then it actually should have. Josh's words of proving the point of Jake's feelings for Kyle ran through the man's head.

Kyle and Josh returned moments later, handing everyone their beer, both smiling and sharing looks between them. Jake did his best to keep his temper in check and a passive look on his face. Everyone discussed what they were going to do with their money and their time off. Several were going to use the downtime to spend as much time with their families as possible, others were going to take a vacation to some place in the lower forty-eight, or out of the country.

By the time they were finished with their second round of drinks, everyone was saying their goodbyes. Kyle hugged all of her new found friends goodbye and promised to call and check in on them. Sure, they would see each other in January, but already they were all so close it was like leaving her family.

& &

Jackson and Kyle had decided to stay an extra day in Dutch, neither ready to face their old fashioned mother. Their mother had fought them on it hand and foot, she'd practically threatened to disown them should the twins pursue the career they both wanted. Obviously, Jackson and Kyle had ignored her. Now, facing the thought of going home, the pair wanted to hold off as long as possible to avoid the tongue lashing.

Her twin brother was nowhere to be found, Kyle figured he was still at the pub with Phil, the other captains, and crew members of the various ships. Laying back on the couch, the memories of the just ended season flooded through her brain and she, for once, allowed herself to think on the relationship she now had with Jake.

She was beginning to realize that what she wanted from Jake, with Jake, might never be possible. Kyle had been given hope, but it had quickly been taken from her. Maybe it was time to just give up and let go. Jake would always be her best friend, but it would never go farther then that. Would it be hard to go back to being just friends with him? Yeah, she was nearly positive of that. Her mind was made up though, Kyle was letting go. No longer would she put her faith and hope in someone who would never understand.

It seemed to be only moments later when a knock sounded through the hotel room she and Jackson had rented for the night. Kyle slid off of the couch, walking to the door and slowly opening it. Her heart fell to the bottom of her stomach as her blue eyes took in just who was standing there, waiting to be let in.

"**Kyle,"** he said, making his way past her and into the warm room.

Closing the door, Kyle turned to face the man she just couldn't seem to get away from. Kyle couldn't handle this. Already she could feel her resolve breaking down and she didn't want that. The brunette haired woman wanted to be strong, wanted to turn him out, but she found she couldn't. This was her best friend, the love of her life; everything he threw at her, she took. He was Jake, her best friend and she was afraid nothing would break that.

She hadn't said anything and that worried Jake. They stood in silence, one observing the other with a confused and conflicted light in their eyes. Jake couldn't understand why he was such an ass to Kyle. How had he become so obnoxious toward her? Why was she so goddamn beautiful to him? What made him fight her? He wasn't a hero, he wasn't a knight in shinning armor, he was just a guy; a douche-bag maybe, but he did the best he could. Jake wanted to be _that_ guy, he wanted to be Kyle's guy. He couldn't admit that to her though. Tonight though, he was going to change that.

He crossed the room to her, hands finding either side of the smaller brunette's face. Kyle wanted to shove him off, to tell him to get lost but she couldn't. His hands on her face, the way he was looking at her, it was everything she had wanted. This wasn't a fairytale, she couldn't set herself back up only to be let down again. With her earlier mindset back in place, she put her hands on his and lowered them, holding his hands between them. Jake looked at her, a look of confusion written on his face. Their eyes met and Jake could see what was coming.

"**I can't, Jake."**

"**Why not?"**

"**Because, I just can't." **Kyle dropped his hands, letting her own go to her sides. **"It's too late."**

Jake felt a sense of panic rush through him. It wasn't too late, it was not too late. He could fix this. **"I'm sorry, Kyle. I'm stupid, you know that. I need you."**

It was killing Kyle. This was what she wanted to hear from Jake. **"I've been wanting to hear that from you for so long, Jake. You have no idea. This, between us, I can't let it go on any further. You're my best friend, and I'll always love you, but I can't let myself hope for something you won't give me." **Kyle hated how he was doing this to her. It was like finally being so close to getting some elusive dream, like just barely touching it with your fingers and having it be taken away from you. She wasn't about to let herself touch that dream again and have it be ripped away.

"**Come on, Kyle."** His hands went to her face once more, forcing her to look at him.

Kyle, wasn't having any of this, she removed his hands once more and stepped back from him. They were so fucking close. If she would have just accepted his apology, they would have been a _them_ instead of just a them. **"I can't." **She turned her back on him and stared at a plain looking painting across from them. Soon, the front door closed, sounding like clap of thunder in the deafening silence.

"_I always say how I don't need you, but it's always gonna come right back to this, please don't leave me. Please, please don't leave me." _Her blue eyes turned to her cellphone, ignoring the sound and the person calling.

That was the last time she heard from, or talked to Jake Harris.

[ Close Your Eyes – Turn; Please Don't Leave Me - P!nk ]


	8. Chapter Eight

Woo! So two chapters in one night. That hasn't happened since I started the story. Haha. Lucky you. Thank you to everyone that's reading and reviewing this story. I love you guys! Hope you're enjoying the ride. [: A special thanks NicoleVondDee and Archermusician for their reviews on the last chapter.  
**Archermusician:  
**Yeah, pretty much. I completely understand. This story is loosely based on my own relationship with a guy, my best friend at that. So, yeah, thanks to my issues in real life, I've got a pretty good story from it. Good luck with your guy problems. [:  
And no, this isn't wasn't the last chapter, obviously. Haha. I'm not sure how long this will be, I'm just kind of writing until I feel the story's been fully told.

**This can't be happening to me, this is just a dream  
**_Chapter Eight **!**_

It was probably the longest amount of time Kyle McDaniel had gone without speaking to Jacob Harris. Everyone knew something was wrong for that pure and simple fact. Jake and Kyle didn't go without speaking, it just didn't happen. Even Kyle's mother, who was about as uptight as they came, noticed something was wrong.

Jackson and Josh had been doing everything they could to get the two talking again. They hated being in the middle because they both had responsibilities to their siblings and to their friends. Anytime they tried to get Kyle and Jake into the same room, Kyle flat out said no while Jake just shrugged them off, giving them some bullshit story.

Kyle was about sick of Josh and Jackson. She wanted to smack them both on the back of the head and tell them to get lost. Kyle wanted nothing to do with Jake, or her twin and her other best friend. It was for that reason that the woman decided to go for a drive. With two weeks left until the start of Opie season, she was doing just about everything she could to fill the time, making sure there was no downtime.

Throwing her purse into the backseat of her black 2003 Honda Accord, she slammed the door and opened the driver's door. She took a second to look around at the house and house next door. Shaking her head, the woman slid into the driver's seat of her car. She shoved the key into the ignition and started the engine. The sound of MeWithoutYou sounded throughout the car and Kyle felt at peace. She sang along, fingers tapping out the rhythm on the steering wheel.

This was her happy place. This was a place where Kyle could get away and just be by herself. The music, the smooth road, the feel of the engine beneath her; here, she could let go. Kyle gave small sigh as she turned down the road, leaving her neighborhood behind. There were back roads around the town she lived in, little areas of fields that she liked to pass by. It seemed almost isolated, though really houses lined the road every few miles.

Kyle hadn't been paying attention, her mind too busy remembering the lyrics to various MeWithoutYou songs that filtered through the speakers. Her tires skidded on a patch of ice, sending her car into an snowbank. **"Fuck,"** she muttered as her head hit the steering wheel.

& &

Kyle sat back up, groaning. She touched her head and pressed on various other parts of her body, finding no serious injuries; just a few minor bruises. The car though, well, she'd have to call someone for that. She reached back and dug her cellphone out of her bag, immediately pressing and holding down the number two to call up Jackson. It rang, and rang, and rang, and finally Kyle just hung up. **"Way to be there for me, Jack,"** she muttered as she hung up.

She moved her finger over the screen, looking through her contacts. With a sigh, she clicked on Josh's name and pressed 'send'. After a few rings, Josh picked up and Kyle let out a relieved sigh at his familiar voice. **"Thank God. I need your help."**

"_**Well, hello to you too, Kyle. What's the matter?"**_

"**I crashed my car into a snowbank."**

"_**What did you do that for?"**_

Kyle rolled her eyes, knowing Josh couldn't see her. It was a pointless move, she knew, but she found she couldn't care. **"I hit an ice patch, smart ass. Can you come get me? I tried to call Jack, but he didn't answer."**

"**_Yeah, I'll come get you. Keep the heat on, I'll be right there,"_** Josh answered, laughing as he hung up.

Kyle gave a soft sigh, thanking God for her friends.

& &

Josh looked at Jackson, who was sitting beside him, wicked grin on his face. **"Your sister is stuck in a snowbank. Wants me to go get her,"** he said before taking a drink from his beer.

"**You're not going to, are you?"**

The older man shook his head, laughing. He had a much better plan then that. **"Nope. I'm about to call Jake and tell him your stuck, and he's going to go get you because I've got a doctor's appointment so they can clear me for Opie season."** The men clinked their bottles of beers together, celebrating their ingenious idea. A few minutes later, he picked his phone back up and dialed Jake's number, setting their plan into motion. **"Hey, Jake. You busy?"**

"_**No. What's up?"**_

"**Can you go pick up Jackson? His car is stuck in a snowbank."**

"_**Why can't you do it?"**_

"**I've got a doctor's appointment so that I can get cleared for Opie season."**

"_**Yeah, alright. I got it."**_

As soon as Josh had hung up with Jake, both he and Jackson burst out into laughter. **"They're going to murder us, you know that right?"**

& &

Kyle had been waiting for what felt like ever. She was tired, cold, and really just wanted to go home. She wasn't even sure how long she'd been there when a familiar beat up, red Ford pickup turned the corner, Kyle's heart stopped beating in her chest, at least that's what it felt like. **"Shit,"** she cursed. Maybe it was just Josh driving Jake's truck, yeah, that was it.

In this Ford pickup, Jake was considering the same option. Maybe Jackson had taken Kyle's car. It sounded like a good theory to him. He parked the truck behind the black Honda and opened the door, sliding out of his vehicle. Slowly, he walked toward Kyle's car, heart beating frantically once he realized his theory was wrong and it was Kyle who sat in the driver's seat.

Unlocking the car doors, Kyle waited for him to open the door and slide in beside her. There was silence for a while, Jake looked out the windshield as Kyle stared out the window to her left. Finally, Kyle couldn't stand it anymore. **"Where's Josh?"**

"**He's at a doctor's thing. He didn't tell you I was coming?"**

Kyle shook her head, this was all news for her. **"He said he was. Did you know I would be here?"**

It was Jake's turn to shake his head. **"He said Jackson was stuck. You're obviously not Jackson, are you."**

Laughing, Kyle sat back. It was almost like old times, like they were almost Jake and Kyle, best friends, again. Everything that had gone on a month previously flooded her brain and Kyle went silent.

The man beside her noticed this and nudged her slightly with his elbow. **"What's with the silence, sweet pea?"**

"**Don't call me that,"** was all Kyle said. She couldn't see how he could act like nothing had happened. How could he do that? **"How can you act like nothing happened?"**

"**Kyle, don't start."**

His tone of voice immediately shut the woman up. He was serious. Something dark and wounded was in that one sentence and it made Kyle uncomfortable. **"Can you get me out of here?"**

Jake nodded and opened the door, sliding out once it was open. He climbed back into his truck and within moments, the Accord was free. They were going to have to get a tow truck to pick it up, considering she'd killed the engine. She walked to the passenger's side of the truck, opened the door, and hopped into the seat. On the way, she began to think about how hot Jake had looked back there. There was something about the way he had looked at her, that smoldering, brooding look he had going on. No, now was not the time to be going back to that. She was still pissed off at him and that wasn't going to change anytime soon.

Once they had pulled into Kyle's driveway, she hopped out and looked at him for a second. **"Jake,"** she said softly.

He turned to face her and looked at his best friend. **"What?"**

"**Thank you."**

"**Yeah, anytime."** Jake turned back around and looked out the windshield, not really focused on anything.

Kyle, not able to hold it in reached out and touched his arm, calling his attention back to her. **"Why do you have to be such a jackass?"**

"**I don't know,"** he answered.

When it came to Jake, Kyle had the hardest time expressing her emotions or feelings, especially when it came to him. It took her being broken to say anything to him, regarding her feelings at least. **"You broke my heart, you know,"** she said, seeming to have an internal battle at telling her best friend this. **"I don't think I've ever cried so much in my life. Seeing you that last time at Dutch, you took what was left of my heart with you."**

"**You're the one that told me no, Kyle."**

Jake was right, of course. Didn't he understand why she had done it? Obviously not. **"I had a reason, Jake. You've been my best friend for twenty-one years, and as soon as I turned sixteen, I realized something. I loved you. I fucking loved you. Having you ignore me like that, watching you flirt with every girl, watching you choose everyone **_**but**_** me, it fucking hurt." **Kyle's fingers ran through her hair as she attempted to calm down. She didn't want to get into a fight with Jake, she just wanted him to understand. **"It's only after other guys started noticing me that you decide I'm what you want. I've been here all along, Jake. You forgot about me, you replaced me, and I just can't take it anymore." **She didn't want to wait to hear what Jake had to say so she turned from him, walking back across the lawn separating their two homes.

The man watched as she turned from him. He used this time to back his truck up and pull it into the driveway of the house he shared with his dad and his brother. Everything made so much more sense now. Jake called out after her as he stepped out of his truck, **"I'm a dick, Kyle. I'm sorry. I didn't know."**

"**Now you do,"** the woman answered, carefully making sure she didn't turn around to face him again. It would be her undoing, she was sure. After thinking about it for a second, she stopped and turned around. **"I never stopped loving you. After all the shit you put me through, after stomping all over my heart, I never stopped loving you."**

This took Jake by surprise and he said the only thing he could think of, the only thing that was the truth. **"It's not over, Kyle. This, between us, it's never been over." **Jake walked toward Kyle, stopping just at the edge of the driveway of her house.

Not believing this was happening, she just looked at him. Then he was pointing at her, using his finger to usher her forward and it was as if he were the drug and she the addict. Kyle couldn't stop herself from walking the rest of the way, stopping just in front of him. Seconds later, she was jumping up and he was catching her. Her arms wrapped around his neck, legs around his waist as he held onto her, pinning her back against the side of her house and pressed firmly against the brick wall. It was much like the first time, the intensity and passion back on full force. His fingers wound through her hair and she tightened her grip around his neck, both getting as close as the possibly could.

"**Christ, I love you."** He whispered as he nuzzled his nose against her neck, breathing in the scent that could only belong to his best friend, and love, Kyle Jace McDaniel.

& &

Kyle woke with a start, fingers touching her bruised lips. She looked around and realized she was right back where she started; in her car, in the snowbank. It had been a dream? Really? Kyle let out a groan as she sat back up, touching the temple of her head. As she pulled away, blood coated the fingers she'd used to probe at her head.

Unbuckling her seatbelt, Kyle turned around and dug through her purse. She wasn't thinking clearly and just hit send, not even considering who she was actually calling. **"Hello?"** she asked, voice sounding tired and shaky.

"**Kyle?"**

"**Jake. I need you to come get me."** She hung up after giving Jake the directions to where she was at. The engine had cut off and with it, the entire car died. It was freezing and Kyle wished, and it wouldn't be the last time, that she had a jacket.

It seemed like much longer then it actually was before tapping on her left side sounded, promptly waking the brunette up. She unlocked the doors and Jake opened her door, crouching down to look at her. **"Hey, Ky? You okay?"**

"**Yeah, no. I'm fine. Just crashed into a snowbank."**

Jake could see it was a bit more serious then that as a nice streak of blood was spread along the side of her face. He put his hands on either side of her face, making her look at him. He lifted a hand and she followed his finger with eyes. Despite how minor the injury looked, Jake wasn't about to take any chances. He knew people could get on the bump on the head, think nothing of it, then die within the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours. **"Come on, Ky." **He scooped the brunette up and carried her to his Ford pickup, placing her in the passenger seat.

An hour later, Kyle was asleep in her own bed, Jake at her side. No serious damage had been done, and everyone was grateful for that. She'd just cut her head on the steering wheel and that was the extent of that. Kyle had been cold and Jake had done everything he could to warm her up, including giving her his jacket and laying next to her as she slept.

"**Jake,"** started a groggy, semi-unconscious Kyle. **"I love you, you know."**

Jake smiled slightly and kissed the woman's forehead. **"Yeah, I know. I love you,"** he said softly.

[ Just A Dream – Carrie Underwood ]


	9. Chapter Nine

Chapter nine! Yay! As always, thank you to the many readers and reviewers of this story. The encouragment is always appreciated, so thank you!  
**NicoleVonDee:  
**Haha. I'm so glad you liked it! You inspired that chapter. It's all yours. [: Thank you for all your amazing support, oh, and that awesome Jonas story you have. =P  
**Mahone-chic-89:  
**Got you! Glad you liked it! I think that was my favorite chapter to write. Me too! Believe me, it will be something. Thank you so much!  
**JamieMac26:  
**Thank you so much. I'm glad you love it. [: I will definitely do my best.  
**Archermusician:  
**Oh yeah. It's like you want to give them a big sign that says 'duh!' on it. Haha. All you can do is just shake your head at them.  
That makes sense. Seems to be how a lot of things get better. Hit a rough patch, sometimes end up with good results.  
Haha. Me too! Mine's a black '96, though. She's my baby.

**Disclaimer:  
****See chapter one, babes.**

**Pour the rum in my eyes, tell me lies  
**_Chapter Nine **!**_

After weeks of trying to stave off the emotional and physical breakdown Kyle could feel building up in her very core, she let it take over. The snowbank incident and the dream only pushed her more so in that direction. Over the next two days, Kyle slept, and slept, and slept some more. It was all she felt like doing. Jake stayed by her side, helping to make sure she showered, wore clean clothes, and ate. He didn't force her to do anything but those three things.

The two laid in her bed for what seemed like ever. He was worried about her, but he knew Kyle and he knew she needed to work things out on her own. The only thing he could do was just stay by her side. It was as if they were back to being the old Kyle and Jake, pre-drama. It was like the animosity that had seemed like an ocean was gone; it wasn't of course, but they were fighting it back for now.

Around the third day, Kyle began to do things on her own. She woke up around eight am and grabbed a shower, leaving a sleeping Jake in her bed. After that, she felt better and went downstairs to grab something to eat. There, she noticed Jackson and Josh sitting at the island in the middle of the McDaniel's kitchen. Both offered small smiles and Kyle wholeheartedly returned them. **"I'm sorry you two,"** she said softly as she opened the refrigerator door.

Small sighs left their lips and Kyle laughed. Soon they were laughing and joking, like everything that had transpired had never occurred. It had happened of course, and sooner or later, everyone was going to have to face that. After eating a small meal of toast and an egg, Kyle retreated back to her bedroom; glass of orange juice, and a plate of toast in her hands.

She opened her bedroom door with her hip and sat down on the bed Jake was still sleeping in. Putting the toast on the bed, she put the glass on the bedside table before moving her hair to one side of her shoulder. **"Jake,"** she said softly.

Jake was pretty sure he was dreaming. One eye opened for a second before closing. **"Five more minutes,"** he muttered.

Kyle laughed and shook her head. **"No. Get up,"** she tried again, running her fingers through his hair.

This woke Jake up and he opened both eyes, offering the brunette a smile. **"Zombie syndrome over?"**

"**For now." **Kyle smiled, though she wasn't sure it would ever really be over. She felt like a robot now, just going through the motions of being alright when she actually wasn't. **"Brought you something to eat."** With that, she handed him the plate and the glass and accepted his smile as a thank you.

They spent the rest of the day talking and joking around, the welcomed sound of laughter floating downstairs. Everything was falling back into place, or so it would seem.

& &

The days seemed to pass by in blurs and before they realized it, the group was back on the Cornelia Marie, getting ready for another round of dangerous crab fishing. Everything and everyone was much the same, the only change was the addition of the cameramen. The first trip with Kyle, the Cornelia Marie was given a break as they worked in their first female Greenhorn. Now that she was more familiar with the goings on of the boat, Discovery Channel wanted their men back on board.

This meant a change in rooms and the crew was alright with that. The only two that had had to give up their room were Kyle and Jackson. With the cameramen in what was once, their room, the twins moved their stuff into the room Jake and Josh shared. This wasn't too much of an issue seeing as the four practically lived in a house together already.

Jackson and Kyle had been asked to come to Dutch Harbor a day early so the Discovery Channel crew could get in a couple behind the scenes interview. There was no way they'd get the chance once they had actually boarded the boat because of all the work she would have to get done, along with the rest of the crew. Jackson had just finished his interview and now it was Kyle's turn. Her fingers ran through her hair before she sat in the chair, facing the camera.

"**Alright Kyle, we're just going to ask you a few questions. First off, tell us your name, age, and occupation on the ship."**

The woman nodded and turned her eyes on the camera. **"Kyle Jace McDaniel, twenty-one years old, and a Greenhorn on the Cornelia Marie."**

The man gave a nod of approval before going on, **"How and why did you get the position you did?"**

"**My dad and Captain Phil are best friends. They worked together for most of their careers until my dad injured his back and had to retire. My brother got asked to join the crew and I wanted in. I've wanted to fish like this since I was little. My dad used to take me and Jackson out on the boat and I fell in love with it."**

"**How is it being the only female on board?"**

Kyle bit her lip as she thought about this. **"It's basically the same as being a guy on the boat," **she answered honestly.

"**Any special privileges?"**

"**Not really. I get up the same time and go to bed the same time, I do the same amount of work. The only difference is the guys had to learn to start knocking,"** Kyle said with a slight, nervous laugh. **"Is that it?"**

"**One more, do you plan on keeping this up for a while?"**

"**What do you mean?"**

"**Do you plan on staying in the fishing industry?"**

"**Oh,"** Kyle paused a moment. She didn't want to work on a crab boat, or any type of boat forever. Kyle would like to, at some point, settle down and have a family. **"I plan to stay as long as I'm allowed. I'd like to settle down someday and have a family of my own, but I'm still young. Right now I just want to do something that I enjoy and just live life."**

& &

Jake, Kyle, Phil, and Jackson had decided to go to the store, needing to stock up on provisions for the up coming months. They had a long list and were sure it would take at least a couple of hours just to find everything they needed, pay for it, and load it into the vehicles. They split the list in half; Jake going with Kyle, and Phil going with Jackson.

"**Butter?"** Kyle asked, watching as Jake grabbed about five tubs of it. **"Check." **They went around the store like this – calling out things, grabbing them, and checking them off. **"Hey, what's your dad's favorite kind of cake?"**

"**Red velvet,"** Jake answered.

Since their arrival back to Dutch Harbor, Kyle and Jake had kept the talking to a minimum. They only spoke when it was necessary. Kyle hated it, but it was like they'd come to a mutual, though silent, agreement. They would work through this the only way they knew how, by themselves. It was annoying, to be sure, but they would get through it one way or another. Kyle turned the basket down the aisle, grabbing various boxes of cake mix and various canisters of icing. She had even thought to grab Jake's favorite, Funfetti cake mix with Funfetti icing. Inside Kyle smiled at the fact she'd got Jake to grin at this, though neither said a word.

An hour and a half later, Jake, Kyle, Jackson, and Phil met up at the front of the store, ready to check out with their massive purchase. Everyone knew what they did so the fact they spent something close to four-thousand dollars on food was not a surprise.

Once they were back on the boat, Kyle, Jake, and Josh worked on putting everything in its proper place in the kitchen. They did their best to move around the cameramen, who seemed to find this part of the job to be fascinating.

& &

It was nearly ten at night and everyone was piled into the Elbow Room. They captains were sitting at their table, talking about this and that, while the crew mingled. There was talk of who was going to get the most opilio crab, the weather, divorce, children, lovers; just about everything you could imagine.

Kyle was talking to Edgar Hansen, a close friend and someone she looked up to. She'd met him her first time in Dutch Harbor, just happened to run into him on her way to the Elbow Room. He was a funny man, always out to have a good time, knew how to work hard, and always seemed to have a light of mischief in his eyes. Kyle had confided in Edgar how her relationship with Jake was drastically changing, how she wished it wasn't that complicated.

"**Sometimes the best relationships are the complicated ones,"** he said as he took a drink from his beer.

The woman wasn't exactly sure how true this was, but she was willing, for the time being, to not question it. Her eyes roamed the pub, spotting her brother and Josh chatting with crew members from the Wizard and the Time Bandit. This made her smile. It was nice that, even though they were supposed to be competing for top numbers when it came to crab, the crews could band together and form such strong bonds. Without meaning to, she let her eyes go toward Jake and some brunette waitress he was chatting up.

Edgar didn't fail to notice where his friend's eyes had landed. **"He'll never learn, huh?"**

She looked over at Edgar and shook her head. **"I guess not."**

"**Come on,"** he said, taking her hand and helping her to her feet.

Kyle raised an eyebrow, unsure of what exactly they were doing. **"Edgar?"**

"**Yeah?"**

"**What the hell?"** She wondered as he led her to the old jukebox, popping a quarter in and choosing Love Bites by Def Leppard. Kyle laughed at how fitting the song seemed to be at the moment. A small grin lit up her face as Edgar's arm wrapped around her waist, her arms finding their way around his neck.

Edgar grinned as they moved to the music. **"Yep, I think Jakey over there is definitely getting a little bit jealous."**

"**Who says I was trying to make him jealous?" **she asked.

It was Edgar's turn to raise an eyebrow, curious as to what she was getting at. **"Who are we trying to make jealous?"**

"**Oh, I don't know, everyone." **The woman laughed as Edgar dipped her back, lifting her back up only to spin her around. **"Whoa, I had no idea you knew how to dance, Edgar."**

"**I don't,"** he said with a goofy smile. Edgar pulled Kyle into him once more, hands finding her lower back. **"They're gone."**

Kyle's head whipped around, not expecting that in the least. **"What?"** Her blue eyes scanned the pub, finding Edgar's words to be true. Shaking her head, this wasn't happening. Her heart sunk to her stomach and she looked back at Edgar. **"I think I need some air."**

She moved out of his arms and headed for the door, her eyes looking nowhere but at the floor below her feet. Taking the path to the right, she headed for the alleyway between the pub and the small bait shop.

"**Kyle?"**

Sticking her head out, she caught sight of Edgar. **"Yeah?" **

He offered a small smile before joining her in her small haven. **"You okay?"**

"**Peachy."**

"**I'll take that as a no."**

"**Why does he do this to me? We were just getting back to normal then he leaves with some no name waitress,"** Kyle ranted.

Edgar felt bad for his friend. He could see what Jake was doing was hurting her and he hated that for her. **"Maybe it's not what you think,"** he tried. From here though, it was looking more and more like the negative conclusion Kyle had already arrived at.

The woman shook her head, running a hand through her wavy dark brown hair. **"Thanks, Edgar. But it's Jake."**

Point. Edgar looked out at the boats lined up along the dock. In just a few mere hours they would be leaving for the Bering Sea and the Opilio crabs that lived in it. He wanted to help Kyle the best way he could, and there was one sure way to help her forget; at least for the night. **"Come on, let's go back inside and I'll buy you a shot-"**

"**-or five,"** she interrupted him, a grateful smile on her face.

"**That's my girl. Let's go."** Edgar flung an arm around her shoulder, leading her back into the pub.

& &

By the time Kyle was ready to leave the pub, she was pretty tipsy. Edgar's offer to buy her a shot or two turned out to be just what she needed. Kyle McDaniel was in an alcohol induced state of bliss, and she was loving every second of it. Nothing could phase her, at least that's what it felt like. Edgar was a good friend, and she thanked God he had been there to help her out this time around. Jake and the no named brunette he'd left with seemed like a far off memory, something that had happened years ago instead of a hours earlier.

Of course, good things don't last forever and before she was ready, Kyle had to face the fact her best friend had **really** brought a girl back to the boat. How she knew this, you wonder? Kyle watched with her very own eyes as Jake helped the woman off the boat, walking away from it and not giving him a second glance over her shoulder. Maybe Jake's night had ended badly. Ha! That would certainly serve him right. She brushed past the woman, heading for **her** boat. Wouldn't Phil be happy to learn his son brought a girl back on board? Oh, he would be so pleased.

Jake could see Kyle was having a bit of trouble walking a straight line. With his arms crossed over his chest, an amused glint in his hazel eyes, he watched her come up to the deck of the Cornelia Marie. **"Hey boozy,"** he greeted.

Ignoring him as best she could, Kyle attempted to board the boat. This would have worked out well if she could have accurately judged the distance the boat was from the dock. Did she want Jake to see she was having trouble? Um, no. **"Hey, slutty," **she shot back casually.

Before she realized it, she was on the deck of the Cornelia Marie. How had she gotten here? It was then she realized Jake was much closer then he had been before. That traitor. Didn't he realize she was mad at him? Was he really that dumb? Obviously so. She stormed past him and down the deck, heading for the safety of the cabins.

"**You not talking to me?"**

"**No,"** she called, not even looking at him. Kyle opened the door and immediately went for her room. Only then did it register she would have to see him either way, he was sleeping in the same room as her. Damn her luck.

Jake shook his head. He forgot how much fun a drunk, or slightly drunk as the case seemed to be, Kyle was. He leaned up against his and Josh's bunks, watching as the brunette attempted to peel off her shoes and jeans at the same time. **"Need some help?"**

Before the woman could tell him no, he was at her feet. His hands slid her shoes off before lowering the jeans down the rest of her legs. A shiver ran through her as his warm hands seemed to caress her bare flesh. Christ, she really hated him. As he handed her her boxers, which had belonged to one of the boys at some point, she snatched them from him. **"I can do it, Jake. Thank you."**

Jake grinned, knowing exactly what he was doing to the woman. He ignored her as he helped her to get the shirt from over her head, which was currently stuck around her neck as she struggled to get her arms out of it. It took everything in him not to laugh, it would have much easier but he was too focused on not focusing on his best friend and the position they were currently in. **"What did I do now?"** he asked, as he slid her sweatshirt down her raised arms and over her head.

"**What do you think you did?"** she asked as she attempted to hop up into her bed.

"**I have no idea."** Jake did chuckle this time as Kyle tried her best to jump up into her bunk. With his hands on either side of her waist, he helped her up and placed her in the bed before climbing up to rest beside her.

"**Go away. You're too close,"** she muttered as she turned her head away from him.

"**Kyle, come on. What did I do?"**

She sat up, the question seeming to sober her up a bit. Jake sounded serious, like he really didn't know what he had done. **"You brought that girl back onto our boat. And you slept with her. You expect me to be okay with that?"**

"**Yeah, well you were all over Edgar tonight."**

That was funny, really. Edgar and Kyle? He was like her older brother. Kyle shook her head, thinking the man beside her was really stupid. **"We're friends. You know that! Nothing would ever happen between me and Edgar. We're. Friends."**

"**And nothing happened between me and that girl."**

"**So you didn't sleep with her?"**

"**No. You didn't sleep with him?" **Jake asked, lips already curling into a small grin.

Kyle laughed, he knew the answer already. **"No." **

With a small sigh, the woman laid back down. Her blue eyes looked up at Jake and as their eyes met, something inside them just clicked. Jake grinned before using his hands to remove his shirt, arms crossing over his chest before the shirt was completely off of him. There was something that in that simple action that was vaguely dirty, Kyle thought, but she didn't want to look at it too closely. Kyle let her eyes slip shut, only to have them open once more as fingers trailed down the side of her face, tracing her lips before disappearing altogether.

They stared at each other, a sense of deja vu seeming to encompass them. It was Kyle though, whether aided by the alcohol or just following her instincts, that initiated it this time. Her arm went around Jake's neck, bringing his face level with hers. Kyle searched his eyes for a moment, wishing to God she could get off roller coaster but finding she didn't actually want off at all. If she couldn't have Jake in the way she wanted, she would take him as he was. Her lips found his and for a moment, they just lost themselves in that.

Seconds later, Jake was breaking it off. **"Don't do that, Kyle."**

He didn't have to explain, Kyle already knew. It wasn't fair. He gave in, she told him no, she gave in, he told her no. It was a never ending circle. She let him go and laid back, turning on her side, away from him. When his arm wrapped around her waist, she found herself asking one question: **"What are we doing here, Jake?"**

"**Avoiding the inevitable,"** was the unexpected answer.

[ Drunken Lament – Ludo ]


	10. Chapter Ten

Thanks to everyone who's reviewing and reading this story. You guys seriously own. [: Oh, and who can tell me what boat actually did the action described in the last bit of the story? Extra hugs from me if you can guess it! [:  
**Mahone-chic-89:  
**Yay! Oh, haha, believe me, I can't wait for that either. I'm like, itching to get that chapter out. It's coming soonish. =P  
**JameMac26:  
**Haha. I'm glad! It'll probably get even more intense later on, at least I'm hoping so. I will do my best! [:  
**Archermusician:  
**Jealousy is our friend, most definitely. Yeah, haha. I wouldn't know. I wore myself out on Harry Potter. I don't remember much of it except for the ending of the whole thing.  
That's what I thought too. Thus the reason I chose him. Edgar is love.  
Haha. I don't know about that. My car and my laptop are my only babies. I mean, I love my phone but I dunno. I did name it, is that considered the same as it being my baby? Haha.

**If ever your will starts crashing down that's when you'll find me  
**_Chapter Ten **!**_

It was a week into the Opilio season and the crew of the Cornelia Marie were having trouble finding the crab. The spots that were so hot last year, seemed to not be. Phil was trying though, and the crew was bearing with him. They were restless, trying to cope with the downtime between strings. Everyone was ready to haul pots, but they'd just set a string to soak, and were headed to another string about two hours away. Soon enough, they would be hauling pots and that was what kept everyone sane, or some of them anyway.

Kyle was tucked away in one of the booths in the galley, nose buried in yet another Stephen King novel. Her eyes lifted from the page she was on to watch Josh and Jake barrel through, fighting. Josh had Jake in a headlock, giving him what looked to be a painful noogie. Meanwhile, the younger Harris brother was trying to punch the older in the ribs, and when one good punch landed, Josh let go.

"**Fucker,"** Jake grunted, rubbing at his sore head.

"**You started it,"** Josh said in reply.

"**Seriously?" **Kyle asked as she closed her book. She didn't even want to know why they were fighting. There was never any rhyme or reason to it. They were brothers and siblings often fought anyway. She and Jackson could attest to that.

Josh opened the microwave door and took out a cupcake Kyle had made the day before. Just as he was going to a bite from it, Jake punched him in the stomach and took it. **"That's what you get."**

"**You two are idiots,"** the woman said as she got up. She moved past them, taking a cupcake and handing it to Josh, not before slapping Jake on the back of the head.

& &

It was about five in the morning and Kyle was swinging a sledgehammer at chunks of ice on the rails of the boat. Though this was a pain in the ass, it took out a lot of tension and that was feeling pretty good. Jake and Jackson were trying to clear the ice of the ropes, while Freddy, Corey, and Josh worked with Kyle to clear the ice off the deck.

It took them about four hours, but finally they were finished. Everyone was rallying together, trying to keep their spirits high for the first pot of the new string. Jake stepped up to the rail, throwing hook in hand.

"**First pot comin' up,"** Phil called over the loud hailer.

Jake looked up at his old man, giving a nod. He looked out at the sea, waiting to get in range of the buoys. The second he was sure they were in reach, he threw the hook, grinning as it caught the rope. Moving quickly, he picked up the rope and began pulling it into the boat.

Jackson and Josh waited at the rail, as soon as the pot was lifted out of the water, they grabbed hold of it and pulled it onto the launcher. Everyone let out a cry of joy as it was full, maybe about eight hundred or so in the pot. Jackson untied the rope and lifted the top, the crab immediately falling out onto the table. Kyle, bait bag and cod fish in hand, slid inside the mostly empty pot, hooking both types of bait up over her head. She took down the old bait and tossed it out of the pot.

"**Come on, Kyle. Move it,"** she heard someone, possibly Corey, call out to her.

Kyle did the best she could. She picked out the remaining few Opilio crab, getting pinched by one for all her troubles. **"Awesome,"** she muttered as she slid out of the pot. She shook her head as she threw the used bait into the bin before filling up the bait bag. Standing at the sorting table, she attempted to help the guys. Josh and Murray had done their best to teach her the differences between the kinds of crab and Kyle thought she had a pretty good grip on it. She was a little slower then the guys but the more pots they did, the faster she picked up on it.

"**Kyle,"** started an excited Jackson from her side, **"they're going to let me try throwing the hook."** She smiled at her twin, happy for him. They'd just finished sorting the last pot of crab and Kyle wanted to watch her brother. She moved to the other side of the rail, waiting for him to throw it, all the while wishing him luck.

Her eyes widened as he got it on the first throw. **"Alright Jackson,"** she cheered. Yeah, Jackson was definitely his dad's kid. Kyle knew Jackson would take to the world of crabbing quickly, it was in his blood after all. She, on the other hand, knew she had a lot to adapt to. There were certain jobs on the boat she just couldn't do, pushing the bins full of crab being one of them. They weighed nearly three times her size, it was an accident waiting to happen and the guys of the Cornelia Marie knew that.

Eighty pots later, a storm was upon them, sending freezing rain and spray onto the decks of the 128 foot boat. Waves were coming left and right, the wind whipping dangerously around them. So far, they'd had two waves completely fill the deck, moving both bins and crew around.

"**Three more pots and we're calling it a night,"** Phil said.

Relief flooded through the crew. No one wanted to be out in this, most of them said being out in this weather was suicide. They'd faced a lot of bad weather, but this was stupid.

"**Four-forty, four four oh,"** Kyle said, using her fingers to give Phil the numbers. Another wave crashed into the Cornelia Marie, filling the boat's deck once more. Kyle's feet slipped from under her, sending her to the deck. **"Fuck,"** she muttered as the water disappeared.

"**Careful,"** Corey said as he helped her up.

Little did the woman know that Phil had had a talk with the guys, telling them to keep a close eye on the brunette. While everyone was in danger of the waves and the storm, Kyle was more so for the simple fact she didn't weigh near as much as them. Though the woman could hold her own in and around the boat, she was no match for the uncaring waves that crashed over the deck of the Cornelia Marie – no one was.

"**Pot's coming up,"** they heard Phil say.

Jackson was poised at the rail, throwing hook in hand. Once the buoys were close enough, he threw the hook and snagged the line. Quickly he picked it up and drew the line back onto the boat.

"**Nice,"** Jake commended as he helped to drag the pot on board.

Once Kyle had set the bait, she went back to the sorting table. Adding the numbers together, she made sure Phil could see her before raising her hands, **"Eight-seventy-five, eight seven five."**

The last pot of the string and it couldn't have come at a better time. The sea, if possible, had gotten even more hazardous. Just as they were lowering the launcher, allowing the pot to slide back into the ocean, a thirty foot wave crashed over the deck of the boat. Crew members did their best to hold onto whatever was screwed down as Phil cried for them to watch out. Again, Kyle's feet were washed out from under her and she went down. Josh, who had been watching her as close as he could from where he was, wasn't near close enough to grab her now. It was Jake, who had also had his eye on Kyle, that grabbed onto her and held her as the water receded from the deck.

Kyle got to her feet, shaking her head. It was this, that made her seriously look at what she was doing on the Cornelia Marie. Instead of letting herself delve deeper into that thought, she brought herself back to reality, offered Jake a grateful smile, and headed back to her station.

As they pulled he last pot, Kyle was in a world of her own. She had Corey, Freddy, and Phil telling her to hustle and it wasn't seeming to get through her head. The woman was trying to concentrate on what she was doing, so much so that she was over thinking every little move she made.

& &

All through dinner Kyle stayed to herself, talking to no one and just eating her food. Soon after, she said goodnight to the crew and headed for her room, wanting to get away from the guys and the cameramen. She was tired, confused, and worried. What if she wasn't made for this? She wanted to prove herself so badly, she wanted Phil to be proud of her, and for her father to be proud of her. Today though, proved that maybe she just wasn't cut out for this life. Maybe crab fishing was only for the guys, maybe she was just wasting space.

It was with these thoughts that Kyle fell into a restless sleep. She dreamed she'd fallen overboard, she dreamed she'd gotten fired, she dreamed that Jake said he hated her, she dreamed Phil confirmed that she was a waste of space and that her father was more then disappointed with her, and the nightmare that woke her up, nearly crying from, was being tossed overboard, Jake laughing at her the entire time. Sitting up straight, chocking back a sob, Kyle put her hands over her face.

After a few minutes she looked around, noticing that both Josh and Jackson were asleep in their bunks. Jake though, was no where to be found. She slid out of her bunk and exited the room, going to the refrigerator for a Red Bull, maybe she'd find Jake out there. Unfortunately, Jake wasn't and Kyle sat down at the table, hands nursing her can of Red Bull. Her fingers ran through her hair and the silence was almost too much. She grabbed a few more cans of the energy drink before climbing the stairs to the wheelhouse, hoping to spend a little time watching the ocean and sitting in silence with Phil. Though there would still be silence, knowing someone was beside her would make it better, she was sure.

Jake turned his head as the door opened behind him. His hazel eyes connected with those of blue and he smiled. Kyle held up two cans of Red Bull as Jake offered up the pack of cigarettes. Both laughed and took what was being given. She sat down on the bench behind him and he turned his chair sideways to face her.

"**Captain Jake Harris, has a nice ring to it, you know,"** Kyle said with a grin.

The man leaned back, cocky smirk on his face as he gave a nod, **"Damn straight."**

Laughing, she took a cigarette from the pack Jake had given to her. She put it to her lips and flicked the lighter, liking the slight sizzle it made as the flame took to the paper. She sucked in before breathing out. **"Didn't know you had wheel watch tonight."**

"**You didn't stick around long enough to find out."** Jake knew something was off with Kyle, he just knew her that way. He pulled back the tab on one of the Red Bull and took a swig from it before going on with what he wanted to know. **"Looks like you were in your own world out there."**

"**Yeah, a bit."** She sat up and looked at Jake, knowing exactly what he was fishing for. **"I just don't know if I'm cut out for this, Jake. My brother, he definitely is, anyone can see that. Me? I don't think I can do this."**

Jake frowned, not at all liking where Kyle was going with this. Kyle didn't give up, at least Jake had never known her to. Well, there was that one time where she told him no, but besides that, she didn't give up. Thinking about that actually make Jake hurt a bit and he did what he could to suppress those thoughts. **"Kyle."**

"**No, Jake. I'm serious. I mean, you guys were literally having to hold onto me when the waves were taking over the deck. I didn't see you guys holding onto each other. I want to prove that I can do this Jake and I so badly want this life to be for me, but I don't think it is."** She concentrated on her cigarette for a while, trying to reign in her feelings. Breaking down was not cohesive to the image she was trying to portray, but Jake could see through this any day and Kyle knew that. **"I'd like to think I'm doing okay, but come on Jake. I'm a liability. How can you guys watch after yourselves while you're busy watching out for me too? I should be able to take care of myself out here-"**

"**Stop, right there. That's where you're wrong. We're a **_**family**_** Kyle. This isn't every man for himself,"** Jake corrected, trying to stop Kyle from going into hysterics. **"From what I can see, from what the crew can see, you're doing a good job. It's your first time out Ky, and you're a woman, it's going to be difficult for you but you'll learn."**

Kyle nodded her head, knowing Jake was right but still unsure about the path she was choosing for herself. Jake could see this and with a sigh, he called her to him. She got to her feet and went to his side. Jake, knowing the cameras were on them, turned the lights off so they couldn't be seen. Hopefully the night vision on the camera didn't automatically click on or the whole move would have been pointless. He put his hands on her hips and moved her to stand in front of him before pulling her into his lap. They sat in the captain's chair for a while like this, his fingers playing through her hair as the pair sat in silence.

"**You really think I can do this Jake?"**

"**I think you can do just about anything you want to, Kyle. You're stubborn, strong, smart, and I believe in you. Just, don't over think it Kyle. That's what gets you, the over thinking thing." **After deciding he didn't care much what the cameras caught, he flicked the light back on so he could look the woman in the eyes. **"Jackson's usually the one who over thinks but now it's you. Just stop and follow your instincts. You're cut out for this."**

The woman let her best friend's words of encouragement sink in. Resting her head on his shoulder, she breathed in his familiar and comforting smell. She'd finish the season, she decided, then she'd figure out where she wanted to go. **"Thank you, Jake."**

"**Anytime, Kyle. You know that's what I'm here for."**

It made Kyle smile and that was all Jake was looking for.

& &

Once Captain Phil was settled back in his chair, he decided to go check out the ice pack. It was said to be moving toward them and he wanted to see just where it was in location to their gear. If it was getting to to close to fast, the crew would haul the gear up and move it farther from the ice pack.

So, as the crew headed up to the deck after a breakfast of bagels, coffee, and cigarettes, all were surprised at what they saw. Blocks of ice floated on top of the water, small cracks were the only way you could tell they were separate instead of one whole section of ice. Kyle and Jackson bet it was hard enough to walk on, so did Jake and Josh.

"**You want to do what?"** Phil asked as he looked at the set of twins, and his own sons.

"**Come on, pops. It looks fine,"** Jake said.

The older man shook his head, not believing what he was hearing. **"You four are about as dumb as they come."**

Taking that as a sign of compliance, the four left the wheelhouse. They donned life jackets just in case and walked back on to the deck. Jackson decided to go first, for no real reason other then to just go first. With Jake and Josh holding his hands, he stepped onto the large patch of ice. He walked around for a minute before giving a thumbs up, it was alright.

Kyle went next, followed by Jake and Josh. **"How fucking awesome is this?"** the woman asked as she and her brother walked further away from the boat.

Even Captain Phil had left the wheelhouse to see the group of friends walk around on the Bering Sea. He shook his head. **"Murray, go get the fuckin' camera. Art's not going to believe this shit."**

Murray ducked inside, coming back with Jake's camera. Jake, Josh, Jackson, and Kyle posed and smiled, still not believing what they were doing. Before too long, they were back on the boat and leaving. Phil had decided the pots were safe for now, the ice pack seemed to be moving slowly and he was pretty happy about that.

[ All Fall Down – OneRepublic ]


	11. Chapter Eleven

**JamieMac26:  
**Aw, that's really sweet. I actually happen to agree with you. Haha. Yep! You're right. It was the Northwestern and it was Matt and Edgar. I saw that and I was like, holy cow! I wanna do that. So, I did it. That's one of my favorite moments on the show. Haha.

**Mahone-chic-89:  
**Me too! I'm ready for it. Haha. I'm glad you liked it! That was one of the parts I liked writing the most. Dude, seriously. Wouldn't it be awesome?

**Archermusician:  
**Yeah. Haha. I do too.  
Yep. It was the Northwestern crew. [:  
I'll never tell. You'll just have to see.

**Don't-let-Them-take-You-alive:  
**I'm glad you're liking it. [:  
I'll do my best.

**Disclaimer:  
****See chapter one. **

**Is there a chance you may change your mind?  
**_Chapter Eleven **!**_

"**Six-ninety-one, six nine one,"** Kyle said before turning back to the pot coming up over the rail. It was the final week of Opilio season, at least for the Cornelia Marie. Their 1.2 million quota was nearly filled and they were all moving in high gear. It was almost over, almost time to go home.

The crew were reduced to having to basically skate around deck due to all of the ice. They'd spent the majority of their morning trying to clear as much ice as possible. It wasn't until eight that they were finally able to start hauling pots. Their first string had produced low numbers and that did nothing for the crews moral. They were able to take a two hour break around midnight that night.

Now, break time was over and it was time to get back to hauling. This string, the crew was pleased to find, was much better then the prior. They were averaging about four hundred to eight hundred a pot. The sooner they got through this string, the sooner they could move on to the last and be finished for the season.

Jackson and Kyle slid the pot into place, securing it before going back to the pot now being hauled up by Corey and Josh. Kyle slipped inside after the majority of the crab had been shaken out, grabbing the rest of the cod and the bait bag, tossing them out of the pot. She picked out the rest of the crab still stuck in the pot, sliding them down the chute.

Every pot they pulled out of the Bering Sea got them one step closer to the end of the Opilio season. This kept the crew going, not wanting to stop until they had reached their goal. Of course, one hundred pots into their one hundred and twenty pot string, Phil had them stop, giving them an hour to shovel down food and coffee and catch a few minutes of rest. They went inside, reluctantly of course.

They spread out in the galley after eating grilled cheese sandwiches, laying where ever they could. Kyle spread out in a booth while Josh took the other side. Jackson and Jake crashed on the floor, Corey and Freddy spaced out in the ready room, and Murray went upstairs to check on Phil.

The break was over soon and everyone felt a little better. They moved quicker on board, being all the more aware of their surroundings due to their revived energy. Seeing as it was their last couple of pots, the crew decided to give Kyle a shot at working the rail, more specifically the throwing hook.

She was nervous as hell and that caused her to miss the buoy the first time. Cursing, she quickly pulled the hook back in and threw it back out, catching it on the second time. Yeah, this was definitely a lot harder then Jake and Jackson had made it look. She had a feeling she would be on bait and pot clearing for a while. Though the crew were encouraging, Kyle could see the truth. At least she had tried, right?

"**Last pot of the season,"** Phil said and the crew cheered.

Jackson grabbed the hook and threw it out, catching the line. He pulled it in and ran the rope through the block. As the pot came out of the water, more cheering went on as it was nearly full to the pot.

"**Good way to end the season,"** Kyle heard Corey say to one of the cameramen. Damn straight it was.

& &

It took them two days to travel back to port and another to offload all the crab. Their final weigh in was something close to 1.1 million pounds. This made everyone extremely happy, considering they were just a little away from their full quota. They were one of the last boats to get back to port, the Northwestern had arrived a day after them.

All the captains decided to throw a bit of an end of the Opilio crab season bash, for themselves and their crew. The majority of them had other things they fished for during the off season but this would be the last time this year they'd be fishing on the Bering Sea together.

Like the last time, the guys allowed Kyle to stay behind so she could shower and get dressed. She stood in front of the mirror, fingers running through her towel dried hair. She wasn't expecting much from tonight, at all. A few drinks and good conversation with close friends was about all she wanted out of the night.

As she thought about the past year, it amazed her at how things seemed to have changed. Her and Jake were back to being the best of friends, their romantic feelings for each other seeming to not be an issue. Jackson and Kyle were asked to come back for the next Red King crab season as Greenhorns for the time being. She'd made life long friendships with people she couldn't imagine being without. Life was good for her. Maybe there were a few things she wanted to change, but if they were meant to be, well then they'd find a way to work themselves out.

She shook out her hair before turning off the bathroom light and opening the door, leaving to change into her clothes. Kyle was sad to be leaving Alaska, it was definitely her favorite place. She closed the door to her shared room and looked at the pair of jeans, MeWithoutYou t-shirt, and Cornelia Marie hooded sweatshirt laying out on Jackson's bunk, ready to be put on.

A second after Kyle had gotten her clothes on and situated, the door opened. She turned to find Jake, leaning against the wall with a look of serious concentration on his face. For a moment, she ignored him, trying to find her pair of Converse. Once she had them in hand, she sat down on Jackson's bunk to put them on. Still, Jake said nothing, just stared. It was making the woman nervous. **"What?"** the woman finally asked.

Jake looked at her, as if he had just noticed her there. **"Nothing. Just seeing what was taking you so long."**

"**I'm a girl, Jake. Sometimes it takes us a little longer to get dressed."**

"**I noticed," **he said.

Kyle didn't fail to notice the double meaning behind his words. This, though, she wasn't ready to look at all that closely. Was she ever ready to look at anything that close? While the pair were just about as normal as they were ever going to get, Kyle had noticed Jake dropping subtle hints and the woman was doing everything she could to avoid them. Before, Jake had been the one running, now it was Kyle who was lacing up her shoes and taking off. **"Okay, well, I'm ready."**

Jake only nodded and turned his back on her, leaving the room but waiting for her just outside of it. He ran his fingers through his hair, for once not hidden by a baseball cap or a beanie. Kyle had to admit, she was definitely liking this. It was then she noticed exactly what her best friend was wearing; her favorite plaid shirt and a nice fitting pair of blue jeans. Jesus.

& &

"**Kyle!" **

The woman looked up from the glass of whiskey in her hands. A small smile lit up her face at the familiar voice. **"Jesus, Edgar. Long time no see." **She sat her glass down on the bar and stood up to hug her friend.

"**What are you doing?"**

"**Avoiding my problems."**

The man laughed before sliding in beside the girl. **"How was your first Opilio season?"**

The brunette seriously thought about this. She thought about how she had wanted to quit, how it had been Jake who had talked sense back into her, and she thought about the things she had endured. **"It was hard, and scary. I told Jake I wasn't sure about coming back. The guys were holding onto me just to make sure I didn't get carried overboard with a wave."**

"**You're going to come back." **Edgar said, and Kyle noticed this was not a question.

Kyle nodded her head. **"Yeah. I was telling Jake, I wanted this life to be for me but I wasn't sure. Jackson can do this, he was born to do this, but me? I wasn't so sure."**

"**It's rough your first time around. I can see how it would be harder for you, but if it's what you really want to do, nothing can stop you."**

She knew Edgar was right. If this was what Kyle really wanted to do, then she would not take no for an answer. She took a drink from the beer in her hands and offered him a smile. **"You're right."**

"**Of course I'm right."** He looked around the pub, seeing everyone mingling and having a good times before they left port for home. **"Speaking of Jake,"** he started as he turned his attention back to Kyle, **"how are things between you two?"**

"**They're, alright. I guess. We're actually talking again. Everything seems to be back to normal. Sometimes though, we get to each other and then we're right back to where we started."**

"**I can understand that."**

"**You can?"** the brunette woman asked.

Edgar nodded, **"Jake put himself out on the line and you turned him down. He ****built his walls back up. You, you got tired of putting your faith in him and let him go. If you two were ever going to actually get together, I imagine it'd take a while or it would take one of you not taking no for an answer."**

Everything made so much more sense now. Edgar was right. She'd backed up, Jake had come in and then she'd just turned him down. Fuck. She felt like such an idiot. **"This is why I don't like talking to you. You make too much sense."**

Her friend laughed before getting up from the stool he'd been sitting on. **"You love me and you know it." **Edgar hugged Kyle tightly, telling her to keep in touch before going to bother his eldest brother.

& &

It had been a long night. Kyle had floated around the room, talking to the Hillstrands, the crew of the Wizard, her own crew, and the crew of the Northwestern. All in all, it had been a good night. As seemed to be their new tradition, Jackson and Kyle were staying an extra night in Dutch. Phil, Josh, and Jake were staying on the boat as well, tying up lose ends there before heading back home.

Kyle left the Elbow Room in good spirits, happy with the way everything had worked out. At least, this is what she would have said if you had asked her how she was feeling. There was something nagging at her, buried under piles of repressed feelings. **"Kyle,"** she heard and turned around.

"**Hey,"** she said softly.

"**You heading back to your hotel?"**

"**Yeah." **Though she was smiling, and glad to see him, she wasn't actually all that pleased. Nicholas had somehow made his way back to Dutch, still on the same National Geographic job as before. They'd talked a little at the pub but besides that, she had distanced herself. **"You?"**

"**Yep. Mind if I walk with you?"**

Yes, but Kyle didn't say that. She simply nodded her head and shoved her hands into the pockets of her jacket. They didn't speak and Kyle was grateful for that, the last thing she really wanted to deal with was small talk. Before they had even realized it, they were entering the lobby of the small family owned establishment.

"**Guess this is goodnight,"** Nicholas said, sad smile on his face. **"You know, you should just talk to him."**

Kyle met his gaze, startled at his words. **"What are you talking about?"**

"**That guy, your friend? You should just talk to him. I'm not as blind as you might think I am. I can see what's going on. Lucky for you I'm not a guy who minds being a distraction."** He chuckled before turning for the hallway that would lead to his room. **"Take care of yourself, Kyle."**

"**Yeah, you too,"** she called out, though a moment too late.

& &

"_**I know that I've got issues, but you're pretty messed up to. Either way I found out, I'm nothing without you." **_Kyle rolled over, ignoring the voice singing out lyrics. Whatever it was, it would turn off soon, right? It had to. Christ. She was so comfortable. It continued on though, slowly waking the woman up. **_"Because we belong together now, forever united here somehow. Yeah, you've got a piece of me and honestly, my life would suck-"_**

"**Hello?"**

"**Don't hang up,"** the voice said.

Kyle sat up, one hand holding the phone to her hear, the other rubbing at her tired face. **"Christ Jake. What time is it?"**

"**It's about three."**

"**In the morning?"**

"**No, in the afternoon."**

She heard him laugh and shook her head. **"Shut up. What do you want?"**

There was silence on Jake's end and she wondered just what the man was up to. She heard a bit of movement on his end and then there was silence again. **"I need to talk to you, Kyle."**

"**And this can't wait till a more decent hour?"**

"**No."**

"**Fine."** Kyle huffed as she moved her feet from the warm comfort of her bed to the cold wooden floor. **"Where are you?"**

"**I'm on the 'Marie."**

Awesome. That meant she was going to have to walk. Like hell was she going to change. **"This better be good. I'm not changing and I expect a cup of coffee,"** she said as she slid on her pair of Converse, tying them tightly.

"**Promise."**

"**I'm leaving now."**

"**Alright,"** Jake said just before the line went dead.

Kyle trudged to the bathroom, flipping on the light and groaning as it nearly blinded her. Once she was used to the light, the woman looked at herself in the mirror. She looked like crap. Whatever, it was three in the morning and that was more then enough reasoning to look the way she did. She splashed a little cold water on her face and dried her hands before running her fingers through her wavy hair. **"I am Jill's rapidly beating heart,"** she said to herself as she shut off the light.

[ Ashes and Wine – A Fine Frenzy; My Life Would Suck Without You – Kelly Clarkson ]


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Archermusician:  
**Haha.  
Yeah. That's sad isn't it?

**JamieMac26:  
**I am too!  
It would be wouldn't it? Haha. Lucky bastards get to say that.  
Haha. I was hoping someone would get that. It's one of my favorite movies. [:

**writtenincursive:  
**I'm so glad you do! That means a lot. Thank you.  
I'll definitely do that.

**Mahone-chic-89:  
**Haha. Well, I suppose you're about to find out, yeah?  
Thank you!

**DlTtYa:  
**Aw, wow. That's really flattering. Thank you!  
Oh, I won't. Haha. Read on my friend.

**Catrina Sky:  
**I have, my dear.  
Oh, and thank you for all of your reviews! [:  
And to answer one of your first questions, Kyle is 21 and Jake is 23.

**Disclaimer:  
****Chapter one, bb. Oh, and there's a little **_**something something**_** here. Be forewarned.**

**Whispers, 'Hello, I've missed you quite terribly'  
**_Chapter Twelve **!**_

It was late, way later then either man wanted to be up but they were still up. After the party, they'd met up with one of their friends from the local store, Nicole. They'd grabbed a case of beer and a few other snacks before meeting her at her apartment. The boys had made fast friends with her on their various trips into the store when they were in Dutch. For Josh though, he felt a little differently about her. He had told Jackson this and Jackson shook his head, laughing. Josh had nothing to worry about as far as Jackson was considered, seeing as Jackson had just broken up with his girlfriend of two years over him leaving her for the Bering Sea. It wasn't exactly like that, but the woman wouldn't listen.

Shaking his head, Jackson got to his feet. **"Alright, I think I'm going to head back to ****the hotel. Check on Kyle and blah blah blah,"** he said as he turned for the door. **"See you two lovebirds later."**

Josh was going to beat Jackson once he got a hold of him. For now, he laughed and waved the other man off. Josh had a strong feeling that Jackson wouldn't find Kyle back at the hotel, this information though, he was going to keep to himself.

"**What's he mean by that?"** Nicole asked, eyebrow raised.

He took a drink from his can of beer and didn't say a word. After a few silent minutes he thought, fuck it, and sat up straighter. **"He means that I like you."**

The woman was caught off guard by this. She hadn't been expecting that. Ever since she'd first met Josh and started talking to him, she'd harbored a little crush on him. Never did she think anything would come from it. He had his job and would be leaving Alaska to go back home, she though, would be staying behind. **"Do you?"**

"**Yeah, I do."**

Josh leaned up a little, one hand going to the side of Nicole's face and the other going to her hip. Her fingers threaded through his hair as one rested just over his shoulder. They stared at each other for a few seconds before she pressed her lips to his. It was a simple kiss, a kiss to test the waters, to see what could be. Minutes later though, Nicole was on her back, Josh hovering just above her. They smiled at each other before he leaned down and kissed her once more.

& &

The smell of coffee hit Kyle's nose and she smiled. So he had made her coffee. Her hand wrapped around the Styrofoam cup, the liquid mildly warm now. It was the way she liked her coffee. Often times she would put ice cubes in it just to cool it down because she hated to burn her tongue. He must have made it as soon as he called her in order to let it be as warm as it was now. She took a sip as she made her way to the Josh and Jake's stateroom.

As she opened the door, she was surprised to find no one in the room. He wasn't in the galley, he wasn't in his room, the only other place would be in the wheelhouse. Would Phil be up there as well? She climbed the stairs to the wheelhouse and leaned against the door jam, watching Jake as he sat in the captain's chair. His head rested against the back of it as he seemed to stare off into space. She didn't fail to notice the white ear phones in his ears. Her arms crossed over her chest as she watched him, simply admiring the view.

Jake could feel her, knew she was standing there, watching him. He wasn't going to interrupt her though. He was supposed to be the unsuspecting victim, in a sense anyway. His fingers tapped out beats on the armrest. He turned, surprised when one of the ear pieces was taken from his ears. Kyle rested her chin on his shoulder as she put the piece into her own ear, listening to the sounds of Pink Floyd.

"**You're so much like your dad,"** she commented after a few minutes. She took the ear phone out and moved away from him, sitting on the bench just behind him. **"What was so important that it couldn't wait until later today?"**

He could feel butterflies welling up in his stomach. Fucking butterflies. What guy actually got butterflies? Apparently he did. He got up and stretched, shirt rising just above the waistband of his boxers, a sliver of skin became visible and he chuckled as Kyle's cheeks turned a nice shade of red. **"We need to talk,"** he said as he sat beside her.

"**No, yeah, I got that. About what?" **Jake fixed the woman with a look and she knew. Her heart beat away in her chest, her words from earlier floating through her mind, 'I am Jill's rapidly beating heart.' She wasn't prepared for this, she was ready to run. Kyle got up, arms crossing over her chest once more, fingers tapping restlessly against her sides. She stood by the chair to the side of the Phil's normal spot. Her blue eyes gazed out at the now calm sea.

"**You know what,"** Jake replied softly. From the looks of things, Kyle knew exactly what was coming. He could feel her puling away and he wasn't having it. **"Look at me, Kyle."**

"**No."**

He ran a hand over his tired face. Jake was tired, not only physically, but emotionally as well. He didn't want to run, he wanted to face up to this like a man. He knew what needed to be done and by the way she was running from him, Kyle did too. He got up and stood beside her. **"Now, Kyle."**

Kyle knew she was in trouble. Jake never used that tone with her; that dominating, because I said so, tone. Christ, she was in shit. **"Please, Jake,"** she all but begged. Turning her back on him, she pretended to be fully concentrated on some object out in the distance, though there was nothing here. Jake wasn't that stupid and she knew it.

Hands rested on her shoulders, turning her to face him. Why was she doing this? She had told him she had waited for him, that she wasn't waiting on him anymore, that she was basically letting him go. Well, Jake wasn't going down without a fight. If she could seriously look him in the eye and tell him no, he'd back down. Until she could do that, it was game on. **"Look at me,"** he said again, hand turning her face gently toward his.

Reluctantly, she let her blue eyes meet his hazel. **"What, Jake?"**

"**You know what."**

She did, but like him, she wasn't going to give in first. He should be the one doing all the work, she'd waited long enough, put up with too much of his crap. It was her turn to be the difficult one. **"No, I don't." **Though, if she were to be honest, it wasn't so much that as it was **she** was scared. What if they weren't made for this? What if everything she'd been wanting wasn't even going to work out?

Jake ran a hand through his hair before putting it on Kyle's hip. He could see what she was doing, he could see she was psyching herself out. **"Stop over thinking this, Kyle. It's not that complicated, I want you."**

"**It's more then that, Jake. There's a lot more then just us at stake here. There's our friendship, our friends, our families, our jobs, our-" **

The man cut her off, knowing full well what she was doing. While Jackson was the think it through twin, Kyle was the carefree go with the flow one. When it came to relationships though? Kyle and Jackson were opposite. She ran and Jackson rushed head first into things. **"Kyle, stop. You need to stop running from me, stop pushing me away. I fucking love you. Everything else will work itself out."**

Kyle stopped, eyes going wide at his words. She never thought she would ever hear him say those three words, and in such a powerful way. There was no way she could question him, no room for it in fact.

"**You drive me crazy. I can't act normal around you. I don't want you with anyone but me. You belong with me." **He continued, not even sure what he was saying was making any sense. Jake figured it didn't matter if it made sense, it was how he felt and Kyle would understand, she always did.

Kyle placed a hand on Jake's cheek. Maybe she'd been wrong before. Maybe giving up on Jake hadn't been her best move. Sticking with him, being patient, waiting... He just needed help. Christ. She should have just told him how she felt instead of waiting for him to open his eyes. Guys could be so blind that way.

"**I'm an ass, Kyle. I am. I'm selfish, indecisive, I bottle everything up, I lie, and yet you put up with it. You put up with everything. Even when I've hurt you more then I've ever hurt anyone. I don't know if I'll be any good at this, but I want to-"**

That was as far as he got before Kyle was pressing her lips against his. His arms locked around her waist, her arms thrown around his neck, and that was the end of life as they knew it. After all the fighting, the jealousy, the pain, the heartbreak, the anger; it all came down to one thing, they belonged together.

Uncaring of who might walk in or that the captain was sleeping soundly below, the pair moved quickly, a tangled mess of limbs and words. Jake slipped his shirt over his head, tossing it behind him carelessly. Her shirt was next and she wasn't able to suppress the shiver that ran through her as his calloused fingers trailed over her newly exposed skin.

It was surreal, to be like this with Jake. She'd dreamed about it, sure, but she didn't think anything like this would happen. Sucking in a breath, she turned her head to the side as Jake pressed open mouth kisses along side her neck. Fucking hell.

Jake trailed his fingers along the edge of the waistband of Kyle's polka dot pajama pants. He met her gaze, and grinned before leaning down, his lips finding hers. Kyle's fingers were carding through his hair, an arm thrown around his neck to keep him in place. He pulled back to look at her, taking everything about this moment in. **"Kyle, are you sure?"** he asked softly.

This surprised Kyle more than anything. Never had anyone asked her that, as far as this was concerned. It was always in the moment, that question not even registering in her mind or the mind of who she was with. It made her all the more sure that **this** was supposed to happen with **him.** Kyle bit her lip and nodded before he distracted her by kissing her once more. Closing her eyes, she breathed in, inhaling Jake's scent, unobstructed by other unnatural scents. It was him and Kyle, no one else.

He rested on his hands as he leaned over the brunette beneath him. It was startling, what they were doing. It felt like they were on a roller coaster, one poised at the highest point, nearly ready to take that plunge. He felt like that, like he was about to dive into the unknown, nothing but Kyle holding him back, holding onto him so he wouldn't fall. He blinked his eyes, staring down at the woman as if seeing her for the first time.

"**Jake, you alright?"** Kyle asked, noting the bit of hesitance on his part. She propped herself up on her elbows causing Jake to back up a bit.

Jake nodded, he was okay. **"I'm fine." **He was, or he would be. Pressing his lips to hers, he let himself go.

They shared a smile before Jake let his hands wander. This wasn't weird, like one would think it might be, this was exciting, new. It was like knowing you have a present but not getting to unwrap it until later. This was that present, and he was finally getting to unwrap it. Kyle's fingers trailed down his lower back, sweat slicking her fingers. Legs intertwined, fingers locked, mouths pressed together, hearts pounded rhythmically in time, stars exploded behind closed eyelids. It was over too quickly, much too quickly.

Jake reached blindly for his and Kyle's clothing. Though he felt boneless and pleasant in more ways then one, he knew they pair needed to get into a bed and sleep. He got up and slid on his boxers before handing the brunette her own things. Soon, they were both dressed and creeping quietly down the stairs, into the hallway, and collapsing in Jake's bed.

His head rested on one of his pillows, Kyle's head on his chest. She listened to his heart, tapping the measured beat out on his ribs. A hand wrapped around hers and she laughed as Jake told her to stop it.

"**That bother you?"** she asked.

Jake groaned and buried his nose in Kyle's lavender smelling hair. **"You already know the answer to that." **He laced their fingers together, small unseen smile playing at his swollen lips. **"Kyle?"**

She propped herself up on an elbow, looking down at her best friend. Kyle could see in his hazel eyes that he was contemplating something, something serious. A million negative thoughts floated through her brain. Fuck. He was having second thoughts, he was going to tell her she failed, that she was an epic fail. Oh fuck. **"Yeah?"** she said, trying to get her voice even and calm.

"**I meant what I said,"** he answered, eyes closing for a brief second. He opened them once more, fingers running through the brunette's soft hair.

"**What's that?" **she asked. Jake had said quite a few things today, she was asked to recall a few things. The thing he said though, took her breath away and the damn boy probably knew it too.

Jake grinned before he kissed the top of her head. **"That I love you." **

[ Here In Your Arms – Hellogoodbye ]


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Guh, I feel bad. I forgot to thank **everyone** who has been reading this story, regardless of whether you reviewed or not. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm loving writing this story and I'm hoping your enjoying the ride as well. You guys are completely awesome!

**Catrina Sky:  
**Haha, I'm glad you enjoyed it girl.  
I'll do what I can. [:  
And thank you!

**JamieMac26:  
**I actually quite enjoyed that. Haha. Glad I could basically leave you speechless. =P

**Mahone-chic-28:  
**I'm pretty sure he did. Haha. Aw, I'm glad. I was a little worried about it. I'm not one who can really write those types of scenes, but I did what I could. Glad it worked out alright. I had the hardest time trying to figure out what exactly they would say to each other before they got together. I had like, three or four different drafts. It'll be interesting. Haha.

**Archermusician:  
**Haha. Yes, they are! I know! I was going to have it be the other way around, but I was like, no. If a guy wants it, he'll go after it. True that.  
Oh, no. I still have some things left for these two. Haha.

**Disclaimer:  
****Check chapter one. **

**Countless lovers under cover of the street  
**_Chapter Thirteen **!**_

It had been a few weeks since that night aboard the Cornelia Marie in Dutch Harbor. So far, Kyle and Jake had acted as if nothing had happened, at least around everyone else. They were still Kyle and Jake, Jake and Kyle. To everyone, they were still the best of friends, all thoughts of a romantic relationship seeming to have gone up in a puff of smoke.

If only people were around when Kyle and Jake were out by themselves, or alone in their homes. Then again, maybe it was a good thing no one was around. They held hands, kissed, made love, and did everything normal couples would do. They didn't have issues with moving from best friends, to something more. It was a natural move, like planting a seed and having it grow into a tree.

Everyone was grateful for things to be back to normal. No longer did they have to pick sides and be there when one side got hurt. They were back to being normal, to being a family again. It made everyone happy and life seemed to be better. Josh and Jackson though? The two knew something was up. Maybe there wasn't something wrong, but things were different. Neither man could put their finger on what, but there was something off.

Josh had flown Nicole down to stay with him for a little while, while Jackson got closer to a girl he met when he went to picked up beer at the corner store near their home on the day they'd come back. For once, Jackson seemed to be trying to take things slow. No one was sure what it was, all they could figure was that it had to do with Jackson having sincere feelings for this girl, Summer, and not wanting to screw it up. Kyle was weary of the woman, as she was with every woman Jackson went out with. So, with this in mind, she decided that she, Jake, Jackson, Summer, Nicole, and Josh were going to have dinner.

The guys picked up Chinese takeout and the girls bought snacks and alcohol. It was a simple night of food, movies, and talking. Everything seemed to be going alright, that was until they ran out of beer and Jake and Kyle volunteered to go grab more.

"**Jesus, it's awkward, Jake,"** Kyle said as the two walked the aisles of the grocery store, hand in hand.

Jake just shook his head, trying not to laugh. **"It's because you want to jump my bones, huh?"**

Kyle's hand collided with Jake's arm and the man groaned before rubbing at it. **"No. It's because Josh and Jackson get to be all touchy feely with their dates and you and I have to sit there and pretend like we're just friends,"** she said as she grabbed a box of popcorn.

"**Yeah, it was almost easier before this."** He ran his fingers through his hair before pulling her down an abandoned freezer aisle. Grabbing the popcorn in her hand, he put it down to the side before backing the woman up so that her back was resting against the cold glass.

Kyle shuddered as the glass hit her back. Why was she always the one with her back against things? Then Jake's hands were grabbing hers, lacing their fingers and raising them above her head. His lips moved up and down her neck, just barely touching. Kyle, not being able to help herself, let out a frustrated groan.

"**Aw, am I getting to you Ky?"** Jake questioned, his lips a breath away from hers.

"**You always get to me, Jake. That's what makes this so fun for you,"** she said. She tried to overpower him, moving her lips to meet his but he was smarter than that.

Jake leaned back, looming just out of her restrained reach. **"Damn straight."**After a few more minutes of this, he gave in and pressed his lips to hers.

& &

Phil had been out of cigarettes and had the strangest urge to buy a frozen Key Lime pie. He was nearing ten at night and he pulled his Dodge truck into the parking lot, putting her in park and cutting the engine. He removed the seatbelt and took the key out of the ignition before climbing out of the truck.

He smiled at the female checker who waved back at him - Brenda, he thought her name was. He wasn't all that sure but he thought it a shame. He was in here often enough. Passing aisles of canned goods and bags of chips, he finally hit the colder area of the grocery store. He could remember having to yell at Jake and Josh for opening the doors in the freezer aisles and breathing on them, drawing designs and writing their names in the fog.

A hand ran through his hair as he finally made it to the intended aisle. He passed two aisles before turning back to do a double take. He could have sworn he saw Jake and Kyle. That wasn't what bothered him. What bothered him was he thought he had seen Jake pressed against Kyle, making out. That wasn't right. Jake and Kyle were friends, best friends. They'd walked around in diapers and Underroos, made mud pies together, and had snow ball fights; they didn't make out.

The idea of Jake and Kyle wasn't a foreign one, if Phil Harris were to be honest. He'd seen the way Kyle looked at Jake, the look of jealousy Jake got if anyone was even remotely interested in his female best friend. There was something there, though neither seemed like they were going to look at that too closely.

He backed up, and there they were. Only, this time, they were walking back down the aisle, away from him. They weren't touching, at all. They were laughing and joking around, like they had always done. He rubbed a hand over his face, Jesus, he was getting old. Fucking seeing things. He chuckled as he went to the next aisle only to run into the pair.

Kyle jumped, Jake let out a surprised gasp, and Phil laughed. They acted as if they were getting caught doing something bad. This brought up his hallucination from early and it made him wonder just how fake the sight actually was.

"**Hey, pops,"** Jake said after he had recovered from the shock of nearly running right over his old man.

"**Hola Phil,"** Kyle greeted, giving her father like figure a hug.

Phil smiled and hugged the brunette woman back. He looked in their hands, a box of popcorn and two six packs of beer. That reminded him, he still needed to get that pie. **"Having a party?"**

Jake shook his head, **"No. Josh, Jackson, Nicole, Summer, Kyle, and me decided to have a small get together. Kyle's trying to decide if she likes Jack's new girl."**

The woman at his side shot him a look and pretended to pout. **"He's my twin. And you know how Jackson is, he rushes head first into relationships."**

The older man laughed, and was shortly joined by his son. **"Alright you two. There's a Key Lime pie calling my name. I'll see you guys later."**

& &

After everything was said in done, Kyle could admit she liked Summer. She was turning her brother around and she and Kyle seemed to have a lot in common. Soon, Summer, Kyle, and Nicole were the best of friends. It was rather interesting to be have a small group of girls as friends. Kyle wasn't used to hanging out with many girls. Having a twin brother tended to make you a tomboy, at least that's what Kyle had found.

Her mother was happy she'd formed such a strong bond with the two girls. It made her think Kyle would grow out of the crabbing phase and be more of a woman. Pam loved her daughter, there was no doubt about that, but she thought her daughter deserved more, thought maybe she should try being more a girl sometimes as well.

"**Mom, this isn't a phase,"** Kyle argued as she and her mother sat down to eat lunch at a local cafe.

Pam shook her head, **"Kyle, it is."**

"**Tell me how you think this is a phase,"** the woman pressed.

"**You're going to want to settle down, Kyle. Start a family, be a normal woman."**

"**You're saying I'm not normal?"**

"**Kyle, that's not what I'm saying."**

Kyle was frustrated. This wasn't a phase. She honestly loved crabbing, she loved being with her other family, she loved being on the Bering Sea. Why could her mother not see that? Her mother was right in one aspect though, even she had to admit this. Kyle did want to settle down one day, have a family of her own. For now, she wanted to live life to the fullest while she still could. **"Mom, what do I have to do to make you back off?"** she asked, tired of fighting about this.

Pam could see her daughter was tired. She was too. She'd noticed a change in her daughter of the past year; she was happier, more full of life, stronger. It made the older woman jealous. Pam had been raised a certain way, if she had pull the same stunts Kyle had pulled with her and Art, she would have been disowned. She just wanted to start this over, to make the relationship she had with her daughter better. **"I'm sorry."**

"**What?"**

"**You're happy, I can see that. I just, I'm a little jealous,"** she admitted.

Kyle as taken aback by this. She didn't think her mother would ever say those words to **her**. **"Why?"** she asked, flabbergasted.

"**I didn't have that freedom growing up. I'm so proud of you, Kyle. I don't exactly know how to show that, but I am."**

The younger woman smiled, **"I'm sorry too, for giving you such a hard time."** It was as the waiter brought the pair their food that Kyle got an idea. **"Do you still have an opening at the bakery?"**

Nodding her head, Pam wondered what her daughter was up to. **"Yes. Why do you ask?"**

"**Well, I was thinking. Jake's going to be in and out a lot, working with his grandfather, that means I won't have a whole lot to do when he's not around. So, I was thinking, maybe I could come help out, just until King Crab season starts back up,"** I said.

Pam thought about this for a minute. Something was troubling her though, and after a few minutes, Kyle's mother pinpointed it. **"What does Jake have to do with your free time?"**

Oh shit, busted. Kyle froze, hand resting on the glass of tea in front of her. **"I just, I mean, we hang out all the time, you know that."**

"**Kyle,"** the woman said, knowing her daughter better then that.

"**You can't tell anyone mom,"** Kyle pleaded.

The woman looked at her daughter, confused. After a second, the lights went on; looked like someone was home. It was all coming together now. Jake and Kyle were- **"You're dating now?"**

Kyle nodded her head, looking at her mother through her eyelashes. **"Yeah. It's been ****a few weeks now."**

"**Oh, wow. I didn't actually see that one coming. I suppose I should have. Your father, Phil, and I used to joke about you two getting married someday. I never thought it would actually happen."**

The younger brunette panicked, the thought of marriage frightening her a bit. **"Mama, we're not even close to getting married. We're just dating, taking our friendship a bit farther,"** she said after she'd pulled herself together.

"**I know you're quite a bit older now, probably have already gone through with things, but are you being safe, Kyle."**

Kyle's faced burned at the question. **"Jesus, mom!"**

& &

"**My mom was so close to having the safe sex talk with me."** Kyle said as she buried her head into a pillow, turning on her stomach to do so. **"Like I was sixteen or something."**

Jake chuckled from across the room, browsing through the bookcases entirely filled with vinyl records. He pulled out an AC/DC one and placed it in the record player, lifting the needle and lowering it until it hit the first line. The sound of Bon Scott singing _Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap_ filled the room.

He and Kyle had been collecting records ever since he could remember. Since his room was a little bigger then hers, they agreed to combine their collection and keep them all safe in once place. He sat down beside her before laying back, crossing his legs at the ankle, arms pillowing his head. **"I'm sorry, Ky. Dad tried to do that with Josh and I once, we just laughed at him."**

The woman shook her head. **"I could understand if it was in the comfort of our own home, but out in public?"**

Jake turned on his side, looking at the brunette by his side. He used a hand to run it up and down her side, lifting the hem of her shirt slightly each time. Kyle lifted her head to look at him, raising an eyebrow. **"Seriously?"**

"**What?"**

"**I nearly had to hear about safe sex from my **_**mother,**_** and you're ready to just go at it,"** she said.

The man grinned before pulling her up and into his chest, arms wrapping around her waist. **"Alright, I'll give you until **_**Problem Child**_** to get over it. After that? Game on."**

"**You know, Bon Scott does give me plenty of way to kill you, Jake. I could just end the game right here, right now."** Kyle grinned as she sat up, straddling the man's hips. **"**_**Concrete shoes, cyanide, T.N.T,"**_she said along with the still awesome lead singer of the earlier days of AC/DC. Her fingers trailed down his chest as she kissed him. **"**_**Dirty deeds, do anything you want me to."**_

[ Use Somebody – Kings of Leon; Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap - AC/DC ]


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Hola! Thank you to everyone who is sticking with this story and those of you who have just started reading. I greatly appreciate it. Thank you for your reviews, your alerts, and your subscribitions. You guys are freaking amazing!

**Catrina:  
Thanks, love. Glad you're enjoying it. [:**

**Mahone-chic-89:  
****Haha. I'm glad you think so. I like when they interact especially.  
****We'll just have to see, yeah? I'm thinking quite a bit of hazing will happen.  
****Thank you!**

**JamieMac26:  
****Me too, me too. Haha. Poor Phil. **

**Archermusician:  
****Haha. I thought that was kind of funny myself. Yeah, I know, it freaking sucks. You'll just have to see. (:  
****Oh my!**

**Megan:  
****Aw, that's so nice. Thank you so much for that! Believe me, I do too. Haha. Yeah, I wanted it to be more realistic, like something that could happen to anyone, you know? And I definitely will! Thank you. **

**DlTyA:  
****Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it. I'll definitely keep writing then. Thanks again. :)**

**Disclaimer:  
****Oh, hai. Check chapter uno? **

**I hate to wake you up to say goodbye  
**_Chapter Fourteen **!**_

Josh and Jackson were restless. Neither could stand staying in the house yet neither wanted to leave it. There was nothing around town worth doing anyway. Going to the movies, even hanging with their girls wasn't good enough. They needed a thrill or two, some adventure to go on. This was driving them nuts. The two wandered around their houses, trying to find something to do. Lucky for them, they'd be leaving for a long month of fishing for cod and various other type of fish soon. It wasn't exactly the thrill of the Bering Sea, but at least it was still fishing. It was in desperation that they played just about every video game they owned, watched every single movie, and raided their siblings bedrooms just for the hell of it.

It was in Jake's room that they found a most interesting discovery. **"Are you **_**sure**_** it's hers?"** Josh asked as he sat down on Jake's bed only to quickly hop back up.

Jackson nodded his head, dropping the article of clothing back where he had found it, under Jake's bed. **"Yeah, that's hers. We switch weeks when we need to wash. I'll wash her clothes and mine, or she'll wash my clothes and hers. **_**That**_** definitely belongs to her."**

Josh ran a hand through his hair before crossing his arms over his chest. **"So, that's weird."** He said as he looked at the space between the bottom of the bed and the floor, glad he wasn't able to see Kyle's black bra with the different colored polka dots on it. It wasn't so much the article of clothing he was concerned with, he'd seen enough of her undergarments, considering he shared a room with her on the boat. To see this particular piece of clothing in _Jake's_ room was something new altogether.

"**What do you think that means?"** Jackson asked. He had an inkling of what it meant, but say it out loud would just bring it into light and he wasn't sure he was ready to go that far with it. Looking at Josh, he noticed the man had the same kind of expression.

"**If it means what I think it means, I'm going to kill them,"** Josh answered, shaking his head.

Jackson could agree with that. Whatever the case, the couple, or possible couple, were doomed once Jack and Josh got a hold of them. Sure, they'd considered the possibility numerous times. To actually have it come to pass? That was a completely different matter.

"**Fuck,"** Jackson muttered. Josh could not have agreed more.

& &

"**Have you noticed that Josh and Jackson seem a little off,"** Kyle asked as she and Jake walked around the small farmer's market. Pam McDaniel had wanted a few fresh fruits for cakes she was baking for two weddings. Jake and Kyle, needing a break from the scrutiny of Dumb and Dumber, immediately offered to go.

Jake nodded his head as he laced his fingers with Kyle's. **"It's like they won't go away. It's been so hard to get a minute alone. Even when we're in our rooms, they bust in with some stupid question."**

The woman stopped, eyes wide as she looked at her boyfriend. Jesus, that was still weird to think. **"You think they know?"** she asked.

Oh. He hadn't thought of that. That was a large possibility. **"Fuck,"** he cursed under his breath. He and Kyle had been so careful too. They had acted like themselves (minus the PDA), even throwing in bouts of bickering to make it seem even more like old times.

"**They can't possibly know. We haven't even touched each other really, at least when we're around other people," **she said, blushing slightly from her own words. This was Jackson and Josh, though. The pair had a knack for finding out everything about anything; whether by accident or from just digging around.

"**Let's just not worry about it for now. They probably have no idea, they're just being smart asses. They think they have some clue about what they're talking about when their really just grasping at straws,"** Jake tried, attempting to soothe the brunette beside him. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into him.

Kyle looked up, giving the man a slight smile. Sure, she'd try and blow this off for now, but some part of her had a feeling this wasn't going to blow over. **"Alright." **She found herself truly smiling as Jake kissed the top of her head.

& &

So, Phil hadn't been seeing things. He really had seen Kyle and Jake making out at the grocery store that one night. Holy hell. He lit a cigarette and inhaled, taking a moment before letting the smoke blow into the living room. Why had they kept it a secret, or attempted to anyway. Was hiding how much they cared for each other really that important? His fingers ran through his hair as he listened to his older son interrogate the young couple sitting on the couch.

"**You two have _a lot_ of explaining to do,"** Josh pressed before looking at his partner in crime, aka, Jackson.

Kyle rolled her blue eyes, they didn't have to explain anything to anyone, especially not Josh and Jackson. They were adults, if they wanted to keep their relationship private, why shouldn't they be able to? **"Josh, just because we didn't tell you, doesn't mean you can go around holding family meetings like this. It's bullshit."**

"**Come on, Kyle. You know you'd be pissed at me if I pulled this,"** Jackson said. It was the truth too. Looking at Kyle he could tell he had hit a nerve. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she was glaring, like she'd been caught red handed lying. Oh, wait, she had.

"**It's not the same,"** she muttered in vain.

"**Why didn't you want to tell us?"** Arthur McDaniel asked, truly curious. Though, what Phil, Jake, Kyle, Josh, and Jackson didn't know was that his wife had already informed him of the newest development in his only daughter's life. He was proud of the pair, happy for them even. Kyle had never been happier and that was all that mattered to the older man.

"**It wasn't that we didn't want to tell anyone, it was just we wanted to figure this out in our own time. Plus, Dumb and Dumber over there would have only rubbed it in our faces,"** Jake said.

"**Jacob,"** Phil barked. Truth be told, he didn't care. He would have rather the pair come out and just told them, but this was **their**relationship. They should have been able to come out in their own time. The only thing Phil was worried about was how they were going to be on the boat once crab season started back up. **"You two will still have to have a somewhat professional relationship on the boat, you know that, right?"**

Jake and Kyle nodded their heads. They knew they wouldn't get to be as much of a couple on the Bering Sea and they were going to figure out how to work through this. Kyle thought it would go back to being how it had been before, sex withstanding. They weren't quite sure how that was going to work out but they were just going to have to make it work. **"Yes, sir. We understand that."**

Jackson and Josh seemed to be the only ones peeved by the fact Kyle and Jake had kept their relationship a secret. After Phil and Mr and Mrs McDaniel left, the four sat in silence. It was like Jack and Josh refused to acknowledge Jake and Kyle.

Kyle, for one was getting fed up with it. She stood up and crossed her arms over her chest. **"I'm tired of this shit. I'm going for a drive,"** she announced, needing now more then ever to get out of the house.

"**Sit down Kyle Jace McDaniel,"** Josh ordered. He grinned when his raised, authoritative voice had the effect he had intended. **"We're pissed at you two,"** he said as the brunette sat back down.

"**And hurt,"** Jackson threw in.

Jake and Kyle shared a look before casting apologetic looks in their friends direction. It was understandable. The pair should have realized the negative effects their new found relationship could have on Jackson and Josh. The two men had been there for them, even when they, themselves, were pissed at each other. They'd put up with the whining, the fighting, the separation. It was as if the two best friends had betrayed their family by keeping it a secret.

"**We're sorry,"** Kyle said, her tone sincere. **"This is new to us, we just wanted time to figure it all out before we unloaded this on you guys. We didn't exactly mean to upset you by keeping it from you,"** the brunette woman explained.

"**Well, you did,"** her twin shot at her.

Neither Kyle or Jake wanted to fight about this. **"What do you want us to do?"** Jake asked.

"**Just don't lie to us anymore, dude,"** Josh answered. A little honesty, was that too much to ask for?

"**Fine, we won't lie anymore. Anything else?"** Kyle wondered.

Josh and Jackson shared a devious glance. **"Actually, why was your bra under Jake's bed?"**

& &

Kyle was tired. She had been working all day with her mother at the bakery. They had two large weddings, which meant brides cakes and grooms cakes, plus they still had to have baked goods for the customers and various type of cakes for various occasions. It had been such a long day and all Kyle really wanted to do now was sleep.

After stopping off at McDonald's for a quick dinner, Kyle and Pamela headed home. They parted once they reached the house, Kyle going to her room and Pam going to hers. The young woman shrugged off her jacket and put her hand on the handle of her room. Something was off, she noticed. Music could be heard from just beyond the door and she wondered if she had left the radio on.

Opening the door slowly, she noticed a faint glow that wavered in the shadows. As she stepped into the room, she spotted a vase of sunflowers sitting on her dresser. Oh Christ. She laid her jacket over the back of the chair situated at her desk and turned to the bed. There, sleeping soundly, was Jacob Harris. Oh fuck. She'd forgotten. Her eyes widened at the site of sunflower petals scattered on the black comforter of her bed. **"Oh Jake,"** she said softly.

She sat down beside him, hand resting on his shoulder as she gently shook him. His eyes opened once before closing and he let out a groan. **"What time is it?"**

"**A little past midnight,"** she answered. Jesus, she was going to cry. How could she have forgotten what tonight was and what tomorrow would be? She felt like shit. **"I'm so sorry, Jake."**

He shook his head, shrugging her off. **"It's fine, Kyle."**

"**No, it's not. I should have gotten off earlier. These weddings have been taking up all my time. That's not excuse though, I know that. I just can't believe I ****forgot,"** she apologized.

"**Kyle, really, it's not big deal."** He said as he got up, stretching. It wasn't alright. He was upset, and rightfully so. **"I'll just see you when I get back."**

Kyle got up, her hand catching his. He stopped at this, turning to look at the woman. **"I'm really sorry, Jake."**

He took his hand from hers, **"I said it's fine, Kyle."**

It wasn't, it wasn't fine at all. There was no way Kyle was going to let him go like this. She would be damned if her last night spent with him for a month was spent in anger. As he opened her door, she closed it. He turned around and faced her, glaring. **"What do you want me to do?"**

"**I want you to move so I can open the door and go home. I want to get in my bed and sleep,"** he answered.

Kyle shook her head, this wasn't the answer she was looking for.** "I didn't mean to forget, Jake. I don't want you to leave me for a month being mad at me and-"**

"**I'm not mad," **he interjected.

"**Then what are you?"**

"**I'm disappointed. We were supposed to meet at seven, go to dinner, and _then_ you were supposed to come back to this,"** he said, waving his hand to show exactly what he had gone through. Lighted vanilla scented candles were placed throughout the room, both Kyle and Jake's favorite types of candy were placed in a basket on her desk, the sunflower petals, their favorite records... She'd messed up so badly.

Kyle hung her head, Jake was right, there was nothing she could do to make it up to him. **"Stay with me?"** It didn't seem like a lot to ask, but after what she had done maybe it was.

Debating this for a moment, Jake turned around and went back to the bed. He sat down and patted the space beside him. Once Kyle was at his side, he wrapped an arm around her waist. **"I'm sorry. I know you and your mom have been busy getting everything ready for those two weddings. I just wanted tonight to be special, considering we won't be together for a month."**

Kyle understood this. With a sigh, she rested her head on his shoulder and stared at the flickering flame of a nearby candle. **"I know, babe. I'm sorry. It's not over yet."**

"**It's not?"** he questioned, eyebrow raised.

Kyle stood up and stripped off her t shirt. Once it was tossed to the side, she let her hands go to either side of Jake's face before leaning down to kiss him. His arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her into him. Kyle put her knees on either side of his hips before he reversed their position so he was on top this time.

"**Yeah, it's far from over,"** she whispered against his lips.

& &

Jake hadn't wanted to go. Yes, he loved fishing, and yes, it was his life; that was before Kyle and what she had brought to his life. With a sigh, he had climbed out of bed, trying his best not to wake up his sleeping girlfriend.

He ran a hand through his hair before stretching and grabbing for his clothing. It was four in the morning, way too early for him. It reminded him of being back on the boat. They were supposed to leave at six and Jake still had to finish packing. He looked back at Kyle before stepping out of her room.

Kyle knew he had left, she had known the instant he had slid out of her bed. She knew it was only a month, but already she was lonely. They'd gotten a month to be together, and know they were going to go through months of separation with only a few weeks here and there to see each other. It was going to be difficult but they were Jake and Kyle, they would pull through this. She closed her eyes, determined to sleep through the next month.

"**Kyle."**

Wow, that had actually worked? Kyle opened her eyes, letting them dart to the clock before looking at the man above her. So, that hadn't actually worked. It was now five-thirty am, on the morning of their last day together, for a month. **"Are you leaving?"** she asked, noticing her voice was kind of raspy.

Jake nodded his head, eyes going to the clock as Kyle's had done seconds earlier. He really had to go, though all he really wanted to do was crawl back in bed with the brunette. **"Yeah, I need to."**

"**I don't want you to," **she admitted.

"**I know, babe. I'll be back soon."**

"**You promise?"**

Kyle held out her pinky for him to take and Jake did. Once their pinkies were locked together, Jake kissed them. **"Promise."**

"**I'll wait for you, then."**

"**You had better."** Jake kissed Kyle's forehead before letting his rest on hers. He was putting it off, leaving that is. The longer he stayed, the less he wanted to leave. With a sigh, he put his lips to Kyle's for a second. **"I love you."**

"**I love you, too."**

With that, Jake stood up from the bed and turned his back on Kyle, walking through the door. He didn't hear her get up, and he didn't see her standing at her window watching him, Jackson, and Josh load up the truck and head out. It was going to be a long month, a very long month.

[ Leaving On A Jet Plane – Chantal Kreviazuk ]


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Alright guys, so here's the deal. First off, let me apologize for lack of updates. Like, seriously. I've felt awful about it. Thing is, my computer crashed and had to be completely wiped. I mean, **everything** was erased; including everything I've ever written. So, I've been a bit put out. It was kind of painful, you know? I've gotten over it enough to update and try to carry on. I'm struggling a bit though because I had ideas written out but they're gone as well. Like I said, it's been painful to try and write again. Despite that, I'm going to formulate new ideas and carry on because that's what I need to do. So, again, I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this story and reviewed. You guys pretty much just own. Seriously. (:

**Disclaimer:  
See chapter one, bbcakes. **

**I thought you said you'd be home by now  
**_Chapter Fifteen **!**_

"**Kyle, come on now."**

The woman looked up, not quite sure what she was supposed to be doing. As she looked down at her, she remembered. Icing flowers on her third wedding cake that week. What was with people and getting married? Didn't they ever just stop and date for a while? Didn't a long engagement sound good to anyone? Obviously not. With a sigh, the woman went back to her pink flowers. The cake itself was pretty gorgeous. White icing, black polka dots, pink flowers; seemed like a pretty good cake to her.

"**Sorry,"** she called out to her mother. The days seemed to drag on like seconds and before Kyle realized it, two weeks of her month long separation were up. It helped that she had plenty of things to do to keep her mind occupied. Alright, really one thing to keep her mind occupied and that was baking. It was a good thing she threw herself into her art, for if she didn't, she felt she might be really feeling the days that passed.

She stepped back from the now finished flowers, giving a nod of approval. **"Looks good,"** her mother commented on her way to the back of the bakery. Kyle only shook her head as she called out to Gabrielle, the new hire, to help her move the cake to the table where it would be boxed and sent off to the wedding.

Just as Kyle was cleaning up, her mother tapped her on the arm and Kyle nearly jumped out of her skin. **"Jesus, mom. A little warning next time?"** she said as she removed her hand from her heart.

"**Sorry,"** the older woman apologized. **"I need a favor."**

Kyle didn't like the sound of this much, to be honest. **"What's that?"**

"**I need you to come with me to the wedding."**

"**You mean, the Barker wedding? Why?" **Her mother looked toward the cake and Kyle sighed. **"What happened to Jesse going with you?"**

"**She went home sick." **Pam ran her fingers through her hair before giving her daughter a pleading type of look.

It wasn't that Kyle wasn't interested in going to the wedding, or helping her mother out, but she just didn't feel like getting dressed up. This was her mother though and it couldn't be all that bad, right? With a sigh, she gave in. **"Alright."**

Pamela smiled and kissed her daughter on the forehead. **"Thank you sweetheart. Let's load the cake into the truck and then we can go home and change. Sound like a plan?" **Kyle only nodded.

& &

Kyle wasn't sure she'd ever been to a wedding for. Well, wait, there had been her mother's sister's second wedding. She didn't remember too much of it though. Pamela and Kyle stood in the back as people stood up and congratulated the newly married couple. They hadn't had to sit through the ceremony and Kyle was grateful for that.

She looked down at her wrist, quickly realizing she had forgotten her watch at home. Her mind wandered, wondering how Jake, Jackson, and Josh were doing. She wondered how her friends from the various boats were. Kyle really needed to call some of them and check up on them, she had promised she would after all.

Finally, it was time to cut the cake and she and her mother presented it. It seemed to be a hit as everyone was thanking them, telling them what a beautiful cake it was, and asking for cards. All in all, it had been pretty nice evening.

The young woman was more then happy to slip off her heels as she and her mother got into the company vehicle. She closed her eyes and listened to the various sounds of the road. A question from her mother made her open her eyes and sit up.

"**Are you doing okay?"**

Was she okay? Kyle wasn't really sure. She felt apathetic. It wasn't a comfortable feeling but it was, just alright. She missed Jake, she missed her brother, she missed Josh. It was hell being without them, that was the truth. She was bored and lonely and she hated that. **"I'm fine." **Even in the dark, she could feel her mother giving her _that_ look – the one that said **bullshit** loud and clear.

"**Come on, tell me what's wrong,"** her mother tried, offering her daughter a small smile.

"**I just miss them, you know? I get so used to being around them all the time and then they're gone. I don't want to whine and complain because I know they have their jobs and I respect and understand that. I just don't see how the wives of the guys that go out on the Bering Sea can do this, I don't see how _you_ did this,"** she rambled. This thing was, Kyle hated being like this. She knew she was so close to whining. Kyle wasn't the type of girl who whined, well, she did but that was only when she was joking around and trying to get on someone's nerves. She let out a frustrated groan, her head hitting the headrest as she leaned back.

Pam shook her head as she pulled the car into the driveway of their house. She cut the engine and turned to face her only daughter, trying her best not to laugh. From here, she could see what the problem was, if only her daughter could see it as well. **"Kyle, you don't have to get so frustrated. You miss Jake, that's all."**

"**But why does it feel so weird? I mean, I've missed him before but it's like, more intense now,"** the younger woman tried to explain.

"**You've put your faith in him for so long and you've finally gotten him. You've only been dating a month or so and then he's left you. You know what's ahead and you're just going to have to stay strong and tough it out,"** Pam said as she offered her daughter a small smile.

This Kyle knew. She returned her mother's smile, knowing the woman was right. Kyle unbuckled her seat belt and opened the car door before sliding out. The pair walked up the front steps in silence, Pamela opening the door to let them in. **"See you tomorrow."** The younger woman said before turning from her mother and heading up the stairs.

& &

The days passed on rather slowly, too slowly for Kyle's taste. She had spent the majority of them at the bakery and out with Summer. The two had gotten really close over the time their boyfriends and Josh were gone. They both understood exactly what the other was going through and that worked out pretty well.

With a sigh, Kyle closed her eyes. It was raining out and Kyle didn't feel like going out in it. Seeing as it was Saturday and she had the day off, she decided to spend the majority of it in bed. She threw the covers over her head in an attempt to block everything out. This would have worked out well if two large weights hadn't decided to crash on her.

"**Wakey, wakey,"** Summer said with a laugh.

Kyle groaned as she pushed at both Summer and Nicole. **"I really hate you two, you know that?"** she asked. Alright, so she really didn't, but that wasn't the point.

Nicole chuckled as she and Summer sat on either side of the brunette. **"What are you doing in bed still? It's nearing twelve,"** the woman informed her friend.

"**Well, I was going to sleep through the day. I have a feeling you two have better plans for me though, yeah?"**

"**Exactly,"** Summer said. She cocked her head to the side for a second, a question clearly written on her face. **"Don't you remember what today is?"**

For Kyle, the days had been bleeding together. The bakery had been keeping her busy, as well as Summer and... Kyle sat up and looked at Nicole. **"Wait a minute. You're here," **she said, pointing at her friend. Nicole watched on with a broad grin. **"If _you're_ here, then that means the boys are coming back."** How could she have forgotten? What was the matter with her?

"**Oh yeah, Jake definitely picked a winner,"** Nicole said in answer. She shook her head as she picked up a pillow, clutching it to her chest. **"Yep. Boys are due back today. I got in a few hours ago. I can't believe you forgot."**

Summer nodded and laughed. She had known what day is was the second she'd woken up. She, Nicole, and Kyle had been looking forward to this day for a month. Though they had all been doing everything they could to fill in any extra time so as to not dwell on the fact their boyfriends were out at sea. **"We figured we'd let the boys get settled, spend some time together as a group, and then go about our individual _business_," **the woman said with a broad grin.

"**And by _business_ she means sex,"** Nicole threw in.

"**Uh, yeah, got that. Thanks."** Kyle ran her fingers through her hair. Jake was coming back. Christ, this day was going to be perfect. She smiled to herself as she slid out of bed and went to her closet. Throwing on a pair of jeans and a tank top, she reemerged. **"So what does that mean we're going to be doing for the day?"**

Nicole looked at her two friends thoughtfully before shrugging. **"No idea. Figured we'd just relax. Oh! We should play Clue."**

Kyle thought about this for a minute. Eh. Sounded alright to her. **"You're such a freak." **

"**Loser,"** Nicole shot back.

"**Dork."**

"**Baby."**

"**Alright _children_, do I need to separate you two?" **Summer asked with a shake of her head. Nicole and Kyle shared a small smile before turning to look at Summer, both sticking their tongues out at their friend. **"Oh yeah, you two are so mature."**

& &

"**Colonel Mustard, in the library, with a candlestick,"** Summer guessed. She opened the small manilla envelope and looked over the cards. She let out a sound of triumph as she showed Nicole and Kyle the cards.

"**Damn you. This is supposed to be _my_ game,"** Nicole said, pouting.

Kyle looked over at the clock, realizing the hour was late. The girls had played a few rounds of Clue, gone to a movie, ate lunch with Summer's mother and Kyle's, before driving around town aimlessly. It was nearing ten o'clock and they were back at Kyle's house, once again playing glue. **"Where do you think they are?"** she asked as she looked back at her friends.

Summer shrugged her shoulders before gathering the cards and shuffling them. She sorted them out and picked three before shoving them back into the envelope. **"I'm sure they'll be home soon."**

Just then, the phone rang and Kyle looked over at it. A minute later, the ringing had stopped and the woman assumed her mother or father picked it up. **"Maybe that was them,"** she said, trying not to sound too hopeful.

"**Why don't you go find out?"** Nicole suggested. She and Summer were just as anxious as Kyle was.

"**Yeah. I'll be right back."** With that, Kyle climbed to her feet and headed for her parents bedroom. She was just about to knock when she stopped. Small gasps, more like sobs, could be heard and Kyle's heart plummeted to her stomach. She raised her hand and knocked on the door. A second later her father told her to come in and that's just what she did. **"What's wrong?"** she asked as she sat on the edge of the bed.

Arthur's eyes looked to his daughter before looking at his wife, tears streaming down her cheeks. He'd tried to reassure her, though he didn't feel to optimistic about the situation himself. Now, it was on him to tell his daughter and her two friends the startling news. **"Go get Nicole and Summer, they need to hear this."**

"**Dad? What happened?"** Kyle asked, her heart pounding in her chest.

"**Kyle, just do what I said."**

She got up and went to the living room, looking at her friends. **"Figure it out?"** Summer asked.

"**Dad, he said-"** She shook her head, she was being silly. There had to be some reasonable explanation for what had happened. Surely what she thought was not what had happened. **"Dad wants the three of us in there."**

The three girls made their way to Art and Pam's bedroom. By this time, Pam had somewhat composed herself. This did little to reassure the three worrying women. **"You three better sit down."** He hated what he was about to say, but he knew it needed to be done. **"That was the Coast Guard,"** he started. He could see it in their eyes, they were preparing for the worst. **"The boat Jake, Jackson, and Josh were on capsized. They think the engine stopped working and a wave took her down. They're looking for the boys and their crew mates right now."**

Kyle bit her lip, trying not to flip out. There was always a possibility of something like this happening. The boys knew that, and their girlfriends knew that. They would have taken every precaution, she was sure; life vests, safety raft, and things of that nature. The Coast Guard would find them – they had to. Nicole and Summer looked like they were trying to keep it together themselves, she noticed as she looked at them. _Please Jesus, find them, keep them safe. Please._

( Stationary, Stationary – Anberlin )


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Hello all. Can I just say it seriously feels good to be doing this again? I'd forgotten how good it feels to be writing again. I just want to tell everyone how much I appreciate you reading and reviewing this story. You all are so amazing, honestly. Oh, and I thought this was kind of a neat idea for this chapter. Writing this, three main songs were my inspiration; I listened to them as I wrote. **Permanent** by **David Cook**, **Broken **by **Lifehouse**, and **Magick** by** The Klaxons.** They definitely helped in writing this chapter. Anyway, enough of that. Enjoy. (:

**DlTtYa:  
**Haha. Why, thank you. :P

**simply megg:  
**It's alright, love. And thank you so much!

**JamieMac26:  
**Yes, I have! Oh believe me, it definitely was. It is. I've looked at is as a chance to start over, plus, I've got more room on the hard drive now. Haha. If you thought the last chapter was bad...

**Mahone-chic-89:  
**Thank you, dear. (:

**Archermusician:  
**It's alright. I know, it's really awful. I was too.  
Haha. Well, I'm glad. I know, I know. Hm, we'll just have to see.

**I had my wake up, won't you wake up?  
**_Chapter Sixteen **!**_

The house was quiet. Almost unbearably so. Kyle had never felt so alone. Her father had gone out to get them something to eat, leaving his daughter in the house with her mother. Pam hadn't said a word since the Coast Guard had called. They still hadn't heard back and it was well into the early morning hours. Nicole and Summer had gone to check on Phil and then to inform Summer's mother of what had gone on.

Kyle sat on the couch, staring at the black screen of the television. Her one hand was wrapped around the cordless house phone, and the other pulled the switch on the lamp beside her; throwing the room into complete darkness, then illuminating it once more. She was numb. They had to come back, Kyle wouldn't accept anything **but** that. Jackson, Jake, Josh, and the rest of their crew **would** return to them safely. That was it.

As she sat on the couch, she could hear the sound of rain pelting down on the still house. It was too weird to be in the house like this. Normally there was something going on, or else everyone was asleep in their beds. Never had it been this quiet. You could have heard a pen drop. She hated it, but what could she do?

The phone in her hand suddenly rang. She picked it up and hit talk, staring at it in shock for a moment before she put it to her ear. **"Hello?"** she asked, her voice clear and calm. It was surprising, to be honest.

"**Is this Mrs. McDaniel?"** the professional sounding voice on the other end of the line asked.

Kyle's heart stopped beating. At least, that was what it had felt like. **"No. This is her daughter, she can't come to the phone right now."** Lie. Kyle thought she needed to handle this, her mother couldn't handle anymore bad news. Oh God, she hoped this wasn't bad news.

"**Oh. Well, Ms. McDaniel, I'm really sorry to have to tell you this but your father has been in an accident,"** the voice said, her tone sounding remorseful.

She didn't say anything. What was she supposed to say? Kyle did everything she could not to break down. Her breath was coming out in stuttering gasps as she closed her eyes. **"Is-"** The woman cut herself off and did her best to collect herself. **"Is he alright?"**

"**We'll need you to come down to the hospital."**

& &

After having checked on her mother, whom was still asleep, Kyle donned her jacket and grabbed her car keys. It was a silent ride to the hospital. Kyle couldn't bring herself to turn on any music. The silence was deafening and heartbreaking. She wasn't sure what to expect at the hospital. The woman hadn't given her any details as to what had happened to her dad. She prayed he was alright. Halfway there, the woman had to pull the car over to the shoulder of the road.

She stared through the windshield before flipping the radio on. She needed something to concentrate on. _**"The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight. Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time. And I am here still waiting, though I still have my doubts. I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out."**_Kyle rested her forehead on the steering wheel and wept. Everything she'd been feeling – the heartache, the worry, the fear, the confusion, the doubt – crashed down on her.

"**_And I still see your reflection inside of my eyes. They're looking for purpose, they're still looking for life. I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing. With a broken heart that's still beating. In the pain, is the healing. In your name, I find meaning. So I'm holdin' on."_** She sat up, staring at the sun rising in front of her. Kyle had to keep it together. Not only for her own sanity, but for her mother, for her friends. She had to keep it together. It was going to be alright. She started the car once more and pulled back onto the road.

It was fifteen minutes later that she came to a stop in the parking lot of the hospital, cutting the engine. Grabbing her purse, she got out of the car. She could do this. With steady steps, she approached the entrance to the medical center. _It'll be alright. _

"**Can I help you?"** the nurse at the front desk asked.

"**Someone called about my dad, Arthur McDaniel?"** she asked, trying to keep a neutral mask on her face. The nurse offered her a small, sympathetic smile. Already, Kyle knew what she was hiding. The worst had happened. **"What happened?"** she asked, voice wavering. So much for keeping it together. Just then, a woman in a white coat appeared, taking the file from the nurse at the desk.

"**Ms. McDaniel?"** she asked.

"**What happened to my dad?"** Kyle questioned, tears already forming in her now dark blue eyes.

The woman pulled her to the side; same stupid, sympathetic smile in place. **"He was in an accident."**

"**I got that much. What happened?"** she asked again. She was beginning to get annoyed. Why did no one want to tell her what had happened to her father? She needed to know. Kyle wanted to scream, kick, cry; it wouldn't do any good though, so she didn't.

"**We're not sure, exactly. What the police gathered was that he hydroplaned and spun. There was another truck involved, an eighteen-wheeler. It didn't see your father and well,"** the doctor looked down, away from Kyle.

That was it. Kyle's knees buckled and she slid down the wall. She buried her head in her arms and cried. A hand gently touched her shoulder and Kyle wanted to yell at them to get off of her. Who the hell did they think they were? She didn't want to be touched, she wanted to be left the hell alone. Then there were two hands, one on either of her shoulders, pulling her up and into them. Then there was _that _smell, the familiar smell of the sea, cigarettes, vanilla, and _him_ floated through her. She couldn't open her eyes, too afraid that this was only her mind playing tricks on her.

"**It's okay, babe. I'm here."**

"**Dad's dead,"** she told him, wondering if that was really her speaking. Her voice didn't sound anything like what she believed it sounded like. **"He's gone,"** Kyle repeated.

"**I'm sorry. I'm so sorry,"** he said, running his fingers through her hair.

"**I thought you were dead, Jake. I thought you were all gone,"** she sobbed. This couldn't be happening. She was dreaming. She was passed out from emotional trauma. Christ, she wanted him to truly be there though, in front of her, really holding her. Kyle opened one eye before opening the other. She wrapped her arms around him, drawing him closer. He was there.

& &

_Kyle Jace McDaniel**, **_she signed on the line. It had killed her, but she had identified the body and signed the death certificate; Jake by her side the entire time. Kyle looked around, like a child. She felt so lost in her own skin, so fearful of everything around her. It felt like at any moment, everything would vanish from before her. She'd be left alone and wondering where everyone was.

Phil wrapped an arm around her and her brother, puling them both into a hug. Kyle had never seen Phil cry and it was killing her to see it now. The big, strong man that she and Jackson had looked up to, along with their dad. He was broken, they all were. In gaining back their friends and family members, they'd lost one. It was a blow that hit Jake, Jackson, Josh, Phil, and Kyle the hardest. The next step, was telling Pam and no one was looking forward to that.

On the ride home, everyone was nearly silent. The sounds of sniffling could be heard from each person in the car. Kyle was overjoyed at the fact her brother and her two friends had returned safely. On the other hand, she was broken; her father was gone. At the hospital, they had agreed Jackson would tell Pam of her husband's death. The more Kyle thought about this though, the more she feared Pamela already knew.

She was sitting on the couch with Summer and Nicole when Phil, Josh, Jake, Jackson, and Kyle filed into the still silent house. Pam turned her head, looking not at her children but at Phil. **"He's gone, isn't he?"** she asked. Phil could only nod solemnly before watching the older brunette put her head in her hands, her shoulders shaking. Phil went to her, getting on his knees in front of her and pulling her into him.

Nicole and Summer got up and went to Jackson and Josh, as the boys wrapped their arms around their respective girlfriends. Kyle, couldn't handle anymore. She retreated to the sanctuary of her bedroom.

When Jake went to her, Kyle was laying on her side, knees drawn into her chest and arms wrapped around her. He laid beside her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his chest. **"I'm sorry, Kyle,"** he whispered into her ear.

The woman turned in his embrace, pressing her lips to his. His hands framed her face, her arms wrapped around his neck. It was distraction, a way to separate themselves from everything they'd been through that day. Kyle rolled onto her back, pulling Jake on top of her. Clothes flew off at rapid speed as hips met and mouths collided. It was quick and rough; all about need and reassurance. You're here, you're not leaving, I won't leave, I'm here. _I'm permanent._

& &

The sky was dark. A steady downpour of rain fell down on the thirty plus umbrellas surrounding the small plot of land. Tears were being shed, as they had been for the past week. It was a torrential downpour of rain and tears amongst the crowd dressed in black. Flowers were littered around, surprisingly resilient. As Kyle's blue eyes watched the water hit the many bouquets, she smiled slightly. She wanted to be like a flower; beautiful and nearly always standing tall. She wasn't though, she was far from that.

Jake wrapped an arm tighter around her as the minister spoke on about God and the Valley of Death. Kyle bit her lip, trying to keep her cynical thoughts silent. She believed in a grander scheme, sure. She knew she wasn't seeing the whole picture but excuse her, her father had just died. At the same time, Jake, Josh, and Jackson were back. She supposed she should be grateful for that, and she was.

She looked over to Phil and her mother, his fingers laced with hers. He was a pillar, a tower of strength now to the woman at his side. He had always been there, along with Arthur; they'd been best friends after all. It had always been Arthur, Phil, and Pam; the three Musketeers. Kyle guessed this was another thing to be grateful for. Her blue eyes wandered away from the pair and back to the casket.

It wasn't fair. Who was going to walk her down the aisle? Who was going to be there when she and Jackson had families of their own? It wasn't fair. Kyle found herself crying, not able to stop it. It wasn't fucking fair. She wanted to throw a fit, scream, punch something. Her dad was supposed to be **here**, for her, for his son, for his friends, for his wife. He wasn't supposed to leave. Yes, when he was older, but not **now**. That was never in the plan.

As she looked around, she realized just how precious the people around her really were. They could be taken from her at any moment. Doing what they did, fishing on the Bering Sea, they faced death every day. Death was a part of life, she wasn't afraid of facing it, but the others around her? She couldn't bear to lose anyone else. It was unavoidable though, wasn't it?

Her boyfriend squeezed her hand and looked down at her. Kyle looked up, tired smile on her face. Jake was okay, he'd made it back to her. They were lucky, they all were. The minister closed his Bible and called for the family to come forth.

They did so, all grabbing a handful of dry dirt. Each passed the casket, dropping the dirt onto the casket. Jackson, Kyle, and Pam were the last to go. Jackson walked slowly up to it, pausing and leaning down, whispering something no one would ever hear. He let the dirt fall onto the casket, some of it sliding down into the grave below.

Kyle went next, tears running rapidly down her cheeks. For once, Jake was not by her side and Kyle was oddly thankful. She placed her empty hand on the cold casket and rested her forehead on it. **"I love you, daddy. We'll be alright,"** she whispered. Standing up, she let the dirt in her hands fall onto the casket where her father rested, forever.

She went back to Jake, his arms draped over her shoulders as they watched Pam go up. It broke Kyle's heart, it really did. Her mother was sobbing, her voice hoarse as she yelled at him for leaving her alone like this. It wasn't fair, she said, they were supposed to be together, forever and always. Finally, she calmed down and kissed the side of his casket. Whispering something that only she would remember. Though, everyone heard her last words, **"I love you, Arthur McDaniel. Forever and always."**

( Slipped Away – Avril Lavigne; Broken – Lifehouse )


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Hey guys. I know this chapter has been a long time in the making but it's finally here. This is the last chapter of this particular series. I wanted a bit of closure and I owed you guys that much. It's a bit open ended because I'm thinking of doing a sequel and so if you'd like to see anything else for Jake and Kyle, or any of their friends feel free to give a shout. I'd be grateful because I would like to do something else with this series but I'm not quite sure what. Thank you to everyone that's stuck with me and reviewed because I really do appreciate it. You guys are awesome! Anyway, here it is the final chapter of Been Here All Along.**

**I feel I'm on the verge of some great truth**

_Chapter Seventeen __**!**_

It was quiet in the house, an uncomfortable kind of quiet. People had been filtering in and out of the house, checking on the three remaining McDaniel family members. Three. Now, Kyle usually liked odd numbers but now it just seemed unsettling to be three instead of four. The only permanent figures in the McDaniel's life now were Jake, Josh, Phil, Summer, and Nicole.

They would stay late into the night, bring food, and just generally keep Jackson, Pam, and Kyle going. The first week was the hardest to endure. Kyle and Jackson would curl up with Pam, knowing it would be hard for the woman to sleep by herself after being married for twenty-three years. Sure, the woman had had to sleep on her own when Arthur had gone away on fishing ventures, but he had always planned on coming back. Now, there was no chance of that.

Jackson and Kyle laid in their mother's bed, the older woman asleep beside them. Her breathing wasn't even but stuttered, tears sliding down her cheeks every once in a while. It was heart wrenching to watch their mother cry, in her sleep. The twins were doing a bit better than their mother. They still walked around in a bit of a daze and had a hard time remembering that their father would not be around to tell things to.

"**Arthur,"** Pam muttered.

Kyle looked over at her mother before turning to face her brother. He was lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling. **"When do you think it'll stop?"** she asked quietly.

The man shrugged his shoulders as she turned his head to look at his twin. **"I don't t****hink it ever will, Ky. She just lost the love of her life,"** he answered in a near whisper.

She knew this. Kyle couldn't imagine the pain her mother had to endure. It was still so hard to believe. Many times Kyle would wake up, still unbelieving of the fact her father was now gone. Ever since his passing, Phil had been staying with Pam more. He was there the majority of the time, telling the twins that he had things under control.

If anyone knew Pam almost as well as her husband, it was Phil Harris. He'd been there through everything. It only seemed natural that he should be there for this. He often spent the night, watching after Pam when the nightmares seemed to be too much for her fragile state of mind. Kyle and Jackson were both thankful for this.

The twins themselves had been spending most of their time with their friends and respective loved ones. Lately, the six friends had been spending time at each other's places. They would gather together and grab some takeout before settling in to watch a few movies or play games. It was better than sitting around and doing nothing. It kept their minds off of things and that was definitely helpful.

Kyle turned her head, gazing at her finally calm sleeping mother. She reached out and gently took the older woman's hand, lacing their fingers together. They would get through this. It would hurt like hell but they **could** do this. They were a family, and their father was still with them even if he wasn't physically there.

& &

Phil knocked on the bedroom door, giving a slight sigh when no sound was made in the room. He put his hand on the doorknob before giving it a slight twist, opening the door a bit to see if everything was alright. Apparently it was and the woman inside was sound asleep. She seemed to be doing that a lot. The man couldn't blame her, really. She'd just lost the love of her life; she was in pain and Phil hated that for her.

"**Pam,"** he said softly, in his gruff voice.

She stirred and opened her eyes slightly before moving back on the bed to sit up. **"Hey Phil,"** she rasped out before clearing her throat.

He placed the bag he brought on the bed as he took a seat on the edge. **"How you feeling?"** Phil asked.

The woman shrugged her petite shoulders. She was alright. Plain. Average. Numb. Apathetic. Pam offered him a small smile and he returned it. **"What's in the bag?"**

"**I just brought some comfort food and some of the old movies we used to watch."** It was a way to cheer her up, something to take her mind off of what had happened. For a few hours anyway. He dug around in the bag, pulling out a few old horror movies; all in black and white. From there, he took out a few sticks of beef jerky, a bag of peanut M&Ms, a package of Oreos, and a bag of regular Cheetos.

The woman's smile brightened a bit and she nodded. **"Thank you, Phil,"** she said, her eyes showing she truly meant it.

It wasn't much, Phil knew, but it was the best he could do. He wanted her to be alright again, and maybe her spending more time in Apathy Land wasn't the best thing in the world, but so what? He was being a friend, and sometime you just needed that. **"You can pick the first movie,"** he offered.

Pam's fingers moved over the DVDs, wondering which she should choose first. She picked up _Dracula_ and handed it over to her old friend. **"You k****now how much I adore Bela Lugosi,"** she stated.

Phil laughed, a loud sound in the normally silent room. He took the DVD and got up, going to player and television set across the way. He turned both on before opening the DVD player and sticking the DVD in. Sitting back down on the bed, he moved back until his back was resting comfortably against the headboard. Pam handed over the controls and Phil set about making the movie start up.

Her head rested against his shoulder, trying not to think about all the times she and Arthur had had a black and white monster movie marathon themselves. Though the memories were some of her favorites, the pain was a little too much. She wanted a break, to feel normal, at least for a little bit.

& &

"**This doesn't feel real,"** Kyle muttered as she sat up. A month and a half had passed and for the McDaniels – what remained of them – it felt like a much shorter time had gone by. Her head turned to the side as she looked at the man at her side, his eyes closed giving the image that he was asleep.

Jake nodded his head and smiled softly as his eyes opened. **"I know,"** Jake answered. His fingers stroked over her shoulder as he gently pulled her back down to rest in the crook of his arm. **"You tired?"**

The brunette shook her head as she stared up at the ceiling. Truth was, she was exhausted. Everything from the previous month was weighing on her and no amount of trying to move past it seemed to take the burden off of her shoulder.

"**What are you thinking about?"**

Kyle turned in his embrace to face him as she let out a small sigh. There were quite a few things on the young woman's mind and she tried to decide which thing it was she wanted to discuss with Jake. **"I was thinking about the upcoming crab season."**

"**Do you want to go back?" **Jake asked as he sat up, moving back on the bed until his back was resting against the headboard of the bed. His fingers moved through the thick curls of Kyle's hair. **"I don't want you to if it's not what you want to do."**

She bit her lips as she thought about it. Her fingers reached up to catch Jake's hand and lowered it to her stomach, lacing their fingers together. **"Part of me really does want to go back because, well, it's what I love. The other half of me can't fathom going and leaving my mom here by herself. ****She hasn't been on her own since dad's ****accident."**

Jake nodded in understanding. Whatever Kyle decided he would be alright with. It would hurt a bit to leave her behind if she chose to stay with her mom but Jake could appreciate the reason behind it. If she chose to go with him and come back for the next crab season he would be extremely pleased. He leaned down and kissed her temple, **"Whatever you decide, I'll be alright with."**

The woman sat up and turned to face Jake with a grateful smile on her lips. How had she gotten so lucky? **"Thank you."**

"**You're welcome."** Jake slid down in the bed and wrapped his arms around Kyle's waist. **"I love you, you know."**

Kyle nodded her head before closing her eyes. **"I love you too."**

There was still a lot to do before Kyle had to decide before the new season started up and as she thought about it now, it began to feel so overwhelming. She let out a breath and opened her eyes to see Jake's own hazel gaze watching her. He smiled slightly and she returned it before taking her hand in his own. Kyle decided then and there that it really didn't matter what she decided in the future as long as Jake was there with her. He'd been there all along and though it may have taken the two a hell of a long time to get to where they were now, it didn't matter because Kyle wouldn't have traded it for anything.

"**Everything's going to be alright, Kyle,"** Jake promised. Kyle didn't doubt his words for a moment. It was going to be alright.

**The End.**

(Wait – Alexi Murdoch)


End file.
